A Relative Term

I've been back in the US for about 10 days now.  My flights were uneventful and went off without a hitch.  The first leg of my journey was traveled with the Ackers as they came back for Christmas.  It was nice to travel with friends and the short layover in London went by faster than I imagined it could with them there too.  We had breakfast and relaxed for a short time before I left for my flight to Chicago.  The flight from London seemed to take a lot longer than 8 hours and 40 minutes, but I made it and so did all of my luggage.  I got through customs easily and was with my family within an hour of getting off of the plane.  That's not always the case at Chicago O'hare, let me tell you!

We got home from the airport, I greeted everyone, took a shower, and then relaxed with the family until it was late enough to justify sleeping.  I slept for a good 10 hours that night.  The next day I hung out and got ready to surprise my youth kids at Bible study.  Things went well and they were really surprised to see me.  It was a lot of fun and a huge blessing to be back with the kids I love so much!

Since then I've been hanging out with youth kids and trying to adjust.  Christmas was good... we hosted my dad's side of the family for Christmas Eve, so I got to see most of my extended family right away.  My brother spent the long weekend with us which was nice too.

Adjusting has been much harder this time than it was last time.  Or at least harder than I can remember last time being.  The relationships that I built are so precious, especially with my students from the Centre and I already miss them.  I'm also already missing the laughter of my Sudanese friends and the fun, yet informative conversations we always had.  I learned so much from so many people this year.  I'm completely blessed and honored to have been a part of so many people's lives.  I feel so privileged so have been able to work with the people that I did.  Thanks be to God for an amazing opportunity!

I've said many times that the past year wasn't easy and it definitely wasn't.  However, I wouldn't change the decision to go.  I was clearly called by God for such a time and He didn't say it would be easy.  Good thing He didn't say that... because it wasn't, but throughout the difficult times God carried me.  He didn't just stand beside me, He carried me.  I'm amazed as I look back over the year at how many tricky situations arose and see that it was only by God's strength that I made it through.

Anyway I've hardly begun to process anything and I'm not going to do it here, but something I've been thinking about for the past 10 days is that "home" is a relative term.  Yes, this is my home if we're talking about where I'm from and where I grew up.  Also if we're talking about where my family is and where I am currently living.  Home is more than those things, although those things are an important part of home.  Everyone keeps asking if I'm glad to be home.  Yes, I'm glad to be with my family and friends, but I've not quite been able to say a resounding "yes!" about being glad to be home.  Let me be clear that I LOVE my family and I'm so thankful for them!  I haven't been able to say a resounding "yes" because I don't yet feel at home.  Sure, things are normal and I'm definitely comfortable, but my heart is still 9,000 miles away.  It's still with my students, the orphans, and my friends (family) in Uganda.  When I'm in Uganda, I feel at home.

I know that once I get a job and get into some sort of routine, things will change.  I just don't want to become complacent and mundane.  I don't want to stop serving because I'm here and not there.  Please God, remind of this!

One other thing... I'd really appreciate some prayer for my physical health.  I'm not feeling well and I don't just mean a cold.  However, I don't have any health insurance so a doctor visit will be expensive, but it's definitely needed.  Ugh.  Pray for complete healing, even now so that tomorrow when I wake up I don't even have to think about going to the doctor.  Thanks!!

I hope you all had a very merry Christmas.  Blessings!

The Great Kidney Stone of 2011

I don't normally teach ESL class on Mondays, but we're trying to finish our book so I can give my students certificates.  After a very productive class I headed out, walking down towards the main road, trying to make it without getting rained on.  I walked about a mile or so down the road, crossed and went into the mechanic's compound to pick my car.  The car was ready so I hopped in and started for home.  I still had to grab a pair of pants and socks for some volleyball... a skirt and flip flops just don't cut it.  Once I had the necessary items I was on my way.  Destination:  Ackers.  Reason: babysit.

I got to the Ackers and was greeted happily by their youngest, KJ.  She had made a shaker out of rocks, dirt, a paper cup, and a lid.  So proud.  The Ackers left rather quickly and the babysitting began.  I love their girls so I'm always happy to hang out with them.  AG, the oldest really wanted to show me a new tree, so the three of us ventured around back to check it out.  From there we went back and greeted all the guys and their friends who are home from boarding school for the long holiday.  We all decided that we would play volleyball.

Before volleyball though, the girlies wanted their nails painted.  So we did a quick mani/pedi session, myself included thanks to AG.  I fixed them their dinner and they sat eating outside as the guys gathered to get our game started.  Teams were formed, the girls finished eating and went down to their swingset to play, I changed and was out on the court.  The girls played very nicely together as we played 3 good games of volleyball.  After the third game I could tell the girls were growing impatient.  So I took them and we went inside for bath time.  After getting all clean, brushing their teeth, reading their books, I read a Christmas story to them, we prayed, and they drifted off to sleep.  They didn't argue about sleeping or anything... it was awesome!  So thankful for a generator, since the power was out for the bedtime routine.

After they were asleep I sat down and was chatting Francis, who's staying there these days.  The generator needed to go off about an hour after the girls went to sleep.  Fuel isn't cheap!  So Francis came in to chat and we waited for Saudi, Aljeli, Hussein, and the others to finish showering and come join us.  Saudi reminded me that I owed him a pop, so I gave him some money, he grabbed some bottles, and went with Aljeli to buy some pop down the road.  

After about 20 minutes or so I wasn't feeling well.  I first started to feel nauseous even though I hadn't felt hungry enough to eat anything since lunch.  I knew there wasn't much in me besides water, but still didn't want anyone around if I was going to barf.  The heavy nausea passed pretty quickly, but not before some very excruciating pain began in my lower back... right where my left kidney is located.  Kidney stone (I assumed since my mom and brother both suffer from them from time to time).  I couldn't think of anything to do, but I knew sitting wasn't helping.  I began rapidly pacing the house.  Thankfully Francis went back to his room because I was so nervous about eventually throwing up.

After another 30 minutes or so it was time for the generator to go off.  I turned on the little solar lantern and called the guys to switch it off.  It went off and I placed the lantern in just the right place so I could continue walking my path through the kitchen, into the dining room, and around the coffee table in the living room, back through the kitchen.  Saudi and Aljeli came back with the pop, but I couldn't even think about taking anything, but water.  I thanked them, but told them I was sick.  They left and went to the back.  For the next 30 minutes I kept up a steady pace around the house, by this time I had been walking for about an hour and a half.  I was drinking lots of water to try to flush it out if it was a kidney stone, but drinking made me feel sick.  The pain never let up whatsoever.  I tried sitting and then laying in every position imaginable, but nothing worked.  The pain refused to ease, so the best thing I could do was walk.  I looked like a crazy person walking my planned out figure 8 when the Ackers arrived home.  They had called to check on things, so they were aware of my situation and not so surprised to see me walking, almost ignoring them completely.  We talked through options, they called the hospital, but I decided I didn't want to go.  I was pretty sure the hospital would make me lay down and I definitely didn't want to do that.  So, I kept walking.

So after some deliberation I decided to go home, knowing the ride would be excruciating but also knowing I couldn't drive my car.  Jade drove me, accompanied by two of the guys.  It was not nearly as bad as it could have been... they kept talking which was a helpful distraction.  I knew being home would be more comfortable especially not knowing how long it might have gone on.

When I got home my walking and drinking water continued for another couple of hours.  The pain had begun to move to the side and was not lessening, but not growing worse.  I tried to lay down around 1am, completely exhausted.  I was able to lay and rock my knees, but I still wasn't comfortable.  After all of the water I had been drinking my trips to the bathroom were frequent, but not pleasant at all.  By the time 5am rolled around I could hardly keep walking.  I took more ibuprofen and laid down.  I slept on and off for the next couple of hours, getting up numerous times to use the bathroom.  At 7:30 a.m. I called another missionary and asked her to take me to the hospital later in the day.

By the time we left for the hospital the pain was about 80% gone.  I was exhausted and extremely sore.  The conclusion was that I had had a kidney stone, but passed it.  There were no other stones detected during the ultra sound, praise the Lord!  One semi-funny thing from the hospital... the ultra sound tech did an ultra sound of my entire abdomen, wanting to see all of the organs that could be culprits of the pain.  After getting the kidneys, bladder, lady organs, and stomach, he kept digging that stupid ultra sound thing into my upper right ribcage.  I was getting annoyed because it hurt, also I had to use the bathroom really bad because you have to have a full bladder for the scan.  He asked when I has eaten last, assuming food was the reason he couldn't find what he was looking for.  I hadn't eaten much of anything for about 24 hours.  I asked him in an angry voice, "what are you looking for?!"  He said he was having trouble finding my gall bladder.  I pushed the ultra sound thing away angrily, and exclaimed, "I don't have a gall bladder!!"  He said, "well that would explain why I can't find it."  Duh.  I was so annoyed. 

I went home, ate some dinner and was asleep by 8 last night.  I did wake at 2am, but was able to go back to sleep around 3.  Today, I'm still a bit sore, but well rested and ready for the day!

The end.