Rusty, orange earth. Breath-taking fuchsia floral arrangements. Emerald landscape. Cars and bodas (motorcycle taxis) zooming past. Children's laughter. Dust. Bright blue sky. Friendly faces. Countless ducas (tiny shops along the road). Burning trash. Mud huts. Giant houses.
These are just a few of the sights, sounds, and smells I enjoyed on my walk home yesterday.
Upon arriving in Uganda a week ago I found myself very sick and very restless, yet simply at home. The transition has been easy, natural for me. I'm really thankful for this. As I'm trying to adjust other areas of my life and my heart, the last thing I needed was a complicated time adjusting to life back here. By the grace of God, it's been simple. Thanks so much for all of your prayers and love as this transition has been taking place.
Friday I had little or no voice and still felt terrible. Saturday I was feeling much better, but still had a nasty cough and no voice. But on Sunday I felt great, still coughing, but pain free. By Monday morning I felt back to my old self again, just with a cough. I began working in the print shop, collating a devotional book for youth in boarding schools. That took me all day Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday was a national holiday called Liberation day, so my teacher friends were off school as were the kids. We had a slumber party with some youth girls, and then went into town for the day. It was a lovely day. Yesterday I spent the day stapling all of the books I had just collated, stopping for a few hours during the day to go and have lunch with a friend.
I am blessed by Jade and Shelah Acker and the Center of Hope for refugees that they have opened. They offer English, computer, sewing, and other life skill classes to those considered to be refugees. They are from many countries and backgrounds. Anyways their Center of Hope is just a couple of miles from my house so to ensure that I could find it and get there on time to meet them for lunch I took a boda. It was very easy to find as my boda driver knew exactly where to go. When I arrived I found Shelah and enjoyed a tour of the Center and a good chat with her while we waited for lunch. I got to see a friend from last time that I had not yet seen. When lunch was ready we served ourselves matoke, potatoes, pocho, beans, and some kind of veggie/meat mush. All of this local food was prepared by Uganda women who work at the center. It was my first encounter with local food again and of course I enjoyed all of it. You guys who know my issues with certain foods would be amazed at what I'll eat. I love local food and had been anxiously awaiting a chance to get some. Anyways as we ate our lunch we caught up on life for the past year and a half. It was such an encouraging time and I'm honored to be a part of the Center. I am still praying about my involvement there, but will most likely be teaching an English class and working with the youth when they are on holiday from boarding school. I can't tell you how excited I am to be a part of their family again. I spent much of my time with the Ackers the last time I was here. They have two adorable children of their own and 9 Sudanese guys that they sponsor, two of whom they are adopting, Lino and Taban. Again, if you want to know more about them check out earlier blog entries from like Sept 08- July 09. I think there's even a video of Lino and his going away presents last time.
After lunch with Shelah, I walked home instead of catching a boda. I love walking here. It's so peaceful despite the danger of being run over by a speeding vehicle. :) I stopped in a little road-side salon to find out about dreads for a friend, waved at the staring children, and sweated my way home. It was awesome. I'm not really sure why this is sticking in my head right now. Maybe it's because I'm excited about the familiarity of it all. I didn't even think twice about hopping on a boda. Driving on the left again has been surprisingly mindless. Despite the condition of my heart I'm excited to be here and to jump right in to ministry.
I've begun some work on the orphan project on Buvuma Island and am hoping to make my first trip out to the island next week. I'm working on some logistics with having a translator and a good camera to get pictures of the kids. I'm exciting to share more about this once I travel to Jinja and then to the village on the island. There is much to be done and the laborers are few... isn't that how it always is? I can't help but hear those words right from Jesus' mouth in Matthew chapter 9 when I think about all that needs to be done in this next year. However, God is sovereign and I'm still surrendering every day.
Would you join me in praying for Kikongo village on Buvuma Island? Pray for safety and health for those of us traveling to the island. Pray for the upcoming elections (Feb 18??) as the threat of terrorist attacks is high and getting higher by the day... pray for safety on the roads and for the police as they control rioting and whatnot. Please pray with me for the students at Heritage International School (HIS), pray for souls to be won and hearts to be broken for Jesus. Pray for the teachers as well.
I have yet to snap a photo of anything, but I will soon. Thank you for all your prayers and support! I appreciate all of you. Please feel free to email me prayer requests whenever you can.
My address and phone number are as follows:
World Gospel Mission
0772463218
PO Box 11788
Kampala, Uganda
East Africa
+256772463218 (you must dial the 256 because it's the country code. )
Pingo.com offeres great rates on calling cards, but honestly the easiest way to get a hold of me is over skype. If you just search my name you should be able to find me easily. I would love to hear from you!
Packages and letters appreciated!! :) Although, do let me know if you're sending a package as I need to be able to track it. They sometimes get "lost" in transit. Much love!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Arrived!
Hi everyone! I just wanted to pen a quick update on the rest of my travel. I arrived safely and on time last night. All of my bags and my guitar made it safely and I'm SO very thankful for that. When I boarded my plane in London I immediately noticed the size difference. Of course it was a bit smaller than the plane from Chicago, but this just meant lots of people and not lots of space. Fortunately for me my neighbor got up and moved after take off, whether from my coughing of lack of space, I don't know but I'm thankful. So I had a row of two to myself, curled up in an uncomfortable little ball and waited to arrive in Uganda. Normally I would be very excited to watch the Mediterranean Sea pass and the Saharan Desert, but not yesterday. It was so difficult to lift my head I could do little else than lay still. I thought I would be exhausted enough to sleep when I got here because I hadn't slept on the planes, but due to my cough, not even Nyquil could put me to sleep. All of that to say, today I am dead on my feet and in a lot of pain. I'm praying for a full nights sleep tonight and for less coughing. My chest feels like it's been set on fire, my heartbeat is in my head, and I can't swallow a thing. It will get better though, of that I'm sure.
God was so gracious to me yesterday as I forgot my debit card and thus had no way to pay for my extra bag. Luckily the British Airways lady was amazing and sympathetic as she watched me begin to panic and realize exactly where I had left it. She didn't charge me for my fourth bag, praise the Lord!! Also my mom happened to have a secret hiding place with some cash in it, so I should be ok until my card arrives in the mail. I'm praying for it's safety as it travels to me.
I would really appreciate prayers from you all and I can't even say enough thanks for the way I've been covered in prayer so far. I treasure each of you! More to come once I can sit up longer... :(
God was so gracious to me yesterday as I forgot my debit card and thus had no way to pay for my extra bag. Luckily the British Airways lady was amazing and sympathetic as she watched me begin to panic and realize exactly where I had left it. She didn't charge me for my fourth bag, praise the Lord!! Also my mom happened to have a secret hiding place with some cash in it, so I should be ok until my card arrives in the mail. I'm praying for it's safety as it travels to me.
I would really appreciate prayers from you all and I can't even say enough thanks for the way I've been covered in prayer so far. I treasure each of you! More to come once I can sit up longer... :(
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Sickly
So, I'm sitting in the London Heathrow airport where I just paid 15 bucks to use the internet for the next couple of hours. Oh London with your ridiculous pricing. Last time I flew through London I had a huge layover and went and explored... this time I've only got like 4 hours before the next part of my journey. I'm thankful for a short layover because I definitely did not plan on being sick, but I totally am.
I was on the phone right before take off telling someone how I had a fever and a crazy cough and my neighbor heard me. The flight was pretty empty so she and her husband left my row to avoid illness. I had a whole row to myself! It was amazing. I'm not good at sleeping on planes, but I loved being able to lay down and rest my aching head. I'm still feeling pretty feverish and yet I have the chills. My head may explode due to the amount and severity of my coughing. It now hurts to swallow and my ears are killing me. On top of that, I can no longer breathe through my nose. I was really trying to avoid being sick while traveling because the pressure changes are killer, but it was a blast to play out on the ice last weekend with the youth kids on the retreat.
All of that to say... that I would really appreciate your prayers. Pray for my ears to unclog, for my fever to leave, and for rest. Thanks so much! I'll update much more when I get settled in. I feel like there's so much to update you all on! Much love!
I was on the phone right before take off telling someone how I had a fever and a crazy cough and my neighbor heard me. The flight was pretty empty so she and her husband left my row to avoid illness. I had a whole row to myself! It was amazing. I'm not good at sleeping on planes, but I loved being able to lay down and rest my aching head. I'm still feeling pretty feverish and yet I have the chills. My head may explode due to the amount and severity of my coughing. It now hurts to swallow and my ears are killing me. On top of that, I can no longer breathe through my nose. I was really trying to avoid being sick while traveling because the pressure changes are killer, but it was a blast to play out on the ice last weekend with the youth kids on the retreat.
All of that to say... that I would really appreciate your prayers. Pray for my ears to unclog, for my fever to leave, and for rest. Thanks so much! I'll update much more when I get settled in. I feel like there's so much to update you all on! Much love!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Surrender
I'm not sure where to begin right now. It's been a while because I've been incredibly busy with work, youth stuff, and preparing for Africa. As I sit on my bed and write this right now the only sound I hear is the wind gusting past my window. For the first time in what seems like forever there's a stillness in the house. My nieces are not home from their sleepover last night and everyone else is upstairs. It's so amazingly peaceful. In the stillness of the house though, there's a level of excitement and anxiety exuding from my room. I have so much stuff to do in the next 18 days and absolutely no motivation to do any of it. Not because I don't want to go, but because this is the first time in over a month that I've had a quite minute to myself.
This Christmas season was strange for me. Normally I'm beyond excited to see family and friends, to celebrate, laugh until I cry, and just have a good time. This year seemed different. I wasn't anxiously awaiting Christmas Eve, I was working. I didn't want to get out of bed Christmas morning and had it not been for my cute nieces whom I adore... I wouldn't have. Maybe it was because I was so busy with work. Or because I was sad to have already said goodbye to the people at New Hope Presbyterian. Or maybe because of my mom's injuries and our lack of cookies and delish food. Maybe it was because I made a bad choice, broke my heart, and even worse... lost my best friend. Maybe because a dear youth kid passed away a couple of days before Christmas. Or maybe it was because I just have so much going on I can't focus my emotions on one thing. Emotions run high this time of year anyway, so for someone like myself who is not very emotional, yet loves Christmas and the week after, it has been a weird experience. I just haven't felt like celebrating. My heart hasn't felt like celebrating. Despite the energy coming from the kids, I've been broken.
I feel like I need to reiterate the fact that I'm in no way dreading my departure. I'm so looking forward to what God has in store for me and the people of East Africa. The sadness that surrounds me is not a regret for future decisions made, it's a regret for past decisions made and the loss that comes along with that. I'm SO excited to have the opportunity to serve in East Africa again and I'm VERY much looking forward to being able to share Christ with the nations. Thanks be to God. :)
Anyone who has known me for any length of time knows that my birthday is one of my favorite days of the year. I usually have some sort of countdown reminding the world of "my" day, but again, this year it didn't seem important. I decided with one of my good friends/youth kids that I would have a combined birthday/going away party extravaganza on my birthday. We made the decision and sent out invitations before the craziness of life started, so by the time my birthday rolled around I wasn't too excited about it. The days leading up to my birthday were filled with work and hanging out with awesomely fun people. It was a good distraction to be surrounded by people who were excited for my birthday for me. On the eve of my birthday I had a slumber party with a couple of awesome youth girls. They took me out to a "classy" dinner at Olive Garden, then we came home and I was given some sweet temporary tattoos and some awesome safari animal sponge capsules that grow in hot water. We then spent the evening applying tattoos, dying their hair, growing the sponges, coloring, and simply having a fantastic time. What a blessing from the Lord. The morning of my birthday started with some yummy chocolate chip waffles, then I went and got my special birthday haircut. This year I even cut my hair more dramatically than ever; I'm not talking just a trim. I love it, so far. Then we headed to Naperville for the party. As soon as the guests started to arrive I couldn't help but feel like I was the most loved person on the planet. Throughout the night we had so many people filter through that I didn't even get a chance to talk to all of them. A big warm house filled with the people I love... it was the best birthday I've ever had. And to think I didn't even want a celebration going into the day. Honestly the Lord has been so gracious to me. I'm so undeserving and so thankful.
Despite myself, the Lord has been continually speaking clearly to me. Over and over and over again for about 3 weeks now He's given me the word surrender. One of the Sunday School lessons in our curriculum had the story of Jehoshaphat overcoming on onslaught. The short of it is that King Jehoshaphat receives word that they are to be attacked with no hope of a victory because of the sheer numbers and brute strength of the opposition. The first thing the King does is seek the Lord. He then orders a fast, so all the people of Judah and the surrounding towns fast. Then the King stands before the people of Judah and Jerusalem and prayed. The Spirit of the Lord then comes down to ensure the people that because they have placed their trust in the Lord, the battle is God's not theirs. The opposition is defeated and the Lord is praised with song.
A few things strike me. First off, if I was a mighty ruler and my people were threatened to the point of no hope, it seems like my first thought would not be to fast, it would be to RUN! To get the heck outta there and not look back. Or maybe it would be to create some sort of battle plan, but not pray and fast. The first thing Jehoshaphat does is surrender the situation to the Lord.
That was my first encounter with surrender. Then in the weeks to follow, as I've been struggling to stay afloat, God has continued to give me the word surrender. Then I heard a friend of mine speak to the youth about things that God has been laying on his heart. Through the truth of the words spoken by him from the Lord, I heard again the word surrender. Then one afternoon as I could do nothing else because I didn't have the strength or energy I picked up my bible and began reading. I felt prompted by the Spirit to read Colossians 3. I don't find the word surrender there, but I see discipline, complete trust (surrender), and real, unconditional love. A healing began that day and is still working right now. I am not strong enough to move forward anymore. I've thought for a long time that I was. It was not until I fully surrendered some things that I was still holding on to that I felt freedom.
Not being the one in control is painful. Surrendering is painful. However, I have never felt less in control and more free in my life... and I like it. There are areas in my life that I still have to consciously surrender every single day, some times more than once a day, and it is so hard, but when I do and let God take control there's nothing more freeing. Hearts don't heal overnight. Life can't be mended in a day. BUT God's grace is sufficient, His mercy endures, and His faithfulness doesn't waiver. God is not a God of guilt and uncertainty. He is a worthy and trustworthy God and I'm in love with him. I'm surrendered today.
This Christmas season was strange for me. Normally I'm beyond excited to see family and friends, to celebrate, laugh until I cry, and just have a good time. This year seemed different. I wasn't anxiously awaiting Christmas Eve, I was working. I didn't want to get out of bed Christmas morning and had it not been for my cute nieces whom I adore... I wouldn't have. Maybe it was because I was so busy with work. Or because I was sad to have already said goodbye to the people at New Hope Presbyterian. Or maybe because of my mom's injuries and our lack of cookies and delish food. Maybe it was because I made a bad choice, broke my heart, and even worse... lost my best friend. Maybe because a dear youth kid passed away a couple of days before Christmas. Or maybe it was because I just have so much going on I can't focus my emotions on one thing. Emotions run high this time of year anyway, so for someone like myself who is not very emotional, yet loves Christmas and the week after, it has been a weird experience. I just haven't felt like celebrating. My heart hasn't felt like celebrating. Despite the energy coming from the kids, I've been broken.
I feel like I need to reiterate the fact that I'm in no way dreading my departure. I'm so looking forward to what God has in store for me and the people of East Africa. The sadness that surrounds me is not a regret for future decisions made, it's a regret for past decisions made and the loss that comes along with that. I'm SO excited to have the opportunity to serve in East Africa again and I'm VERY much looking forward to being able to share Christ with the nations. Thanks be to God. :)
Anyone who has known me for any length of time knows that my birthday is one of my favorite days of the year. I usually have some sort of countdown reminding the world of "my" day, but again, this year it didn't seem important. I decided with one of my good friends/youth kids that I would have a combined birthday/going away party extravaganza on my birthday. We made the decision and sent out invitations before the craziness of life started, so by the time my birthday rolled around I wasn't too excited about it. The days leading up to my birthday were filled with work and hanging out with awesomely fun people. It was a good distraction to be surrounded by people who were excited for my birthday for me. On the eve of my birthday I had a slumber party with a couple of awesome youth girls. They took me out to a "classy" dinner at Olive Garden, then we came home and I was given some sweet temporary tattoos and some awesome safari animal sponge capsules that grow in hot water. We then spent the evening applying tattoos, dying their hair, growing the sponges, coloring, and simply having a fantastic time. What a blessing from the Lord. The morning of my birthday started with some yummy chocolate chip waffles, then I went and got my special birthday haircut. This year I even cut my hair more dramatically than ever; I'm not talking just a trim. I love it, so far. Then we headed to Naperville for the party. As soon as the guests started to arrive I couldn't help but feel like I was the most loved person on the planet. Throughout the night we had so many people filter through that I didn't even get a chance to talk to all of them. A big warm house filled with the people I love... it was the best birthday I've ever had. And to think I didn't even want a celebration going into the day. Honestly the Lord has been so gracious to me. I'm so undeserving and so thankful.
Despite myself, the Lord has been continually speaking clearly to me. Over and over and over again for about 3 weeks now He's given me the word surrender. One of the Sunday School lessons in our curriculum had the story of Jehoshaphat overcoming on onslaught. The short of it is that King Jehoshaphat receives word that they are to be attacked with no hope of a victory because of the sheer numbers and brute strength of the opposition. The first thing the King does is seek the Lord. He then orders a fast, so all the people of Judah and the surrounding towns fast. Then the King stands before the people of Judah and Jerusalem and prayed. The Spirit of the Lord then comes down to ensure the people that because they have placed their trust in the Lord, the battle is God's not theirs. The opposition is defeated and the Lord is praised with song.
A few things strike me. First off, if I was a mighty ruler and my people were threatened to the point of no hope, it seems like my first thought would not be to fast, it would be to RUN! To get the heck outta there and not look back. Or maybe it would be to create some sort of battle plan, but not pray and fast. The first thing Jehoshaphat does is surrender the situation to the Lord.
That was my first encounter with surrender. Then in the weeks to follow, as I've been struggling to stay afloat, God has continued to give me the word surrender. Then I heard a friend of mine speak to the youth about things that God has been laying on his heart. Through the truth of the words spoken by him from the Lord, I heard again the word surrender. Then one afternoon as I could do nothing else because I didn't have the strength or energy I picked up my bible and began reading. I felt prompted by the Spirit to read Colossians 3. I don't find the word surrender there, but I see discipline, complete trust (surrender), and real, unconditional love. A healing began that day and is still working right now. I am not strong enough to move forward anymore. I've thought for a long time that I was. It was not until I fully surrendered some things that I was still holding on to that I felt freedom.
Not being the one in control is painful. Surrendering is painful. However, I have never felt less in control and more free in my life... and I like it. There are areas in my life that I still have to consciously surrender every single day, some times more than once a day, and it is so hard, but when I do and let God take control there's nothing more freeing. Hearts don't heal overnight. Life can't be mended in a day. BUT God's grace is sufficient, His mercy endures, and His faithfulness doesn't waiver. God is not a God of guilt and uncertainty. He is a worthy and trustworthy God and I'm in love with him. I'm surrendered today.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Lots of Little Things...
Mom Update: Left wrist is in a hard cast. Right arm and shoulder are still in just a sling because she hasn't had surgery yet. No decision has been made as to whether they are going to try to repair the shoulder or if they are going to do a complete shoulder replacement. There are obviously pros and cons to both of those options. It will be a game time call. Once they cut her open and see the extent of the damage they will make the decision. She will have to stay overnight at the hospital as well, which she is not happy about. She is having surgery next week and I would really appreciate your prayers.
Work has been absolutely insane because we're short a person. Mom has been coming to work, but obviously she can't do anything. I think the added pressure of having someone constantly standing over us doesn't help either. There have been some tense days. We're all doing what we can though and of course it's a good thing that we're so busy. Being busy = getting paid!
This past week was actually really rough for me personally, and without going into any detail as to why, I'd just like to ask for prayer. I appreciate it you guys. On top of that stuff, my car has decided that it needs a ton of maintenance right now including brake calipers which are essential in making sure that my brakes work, but the $400 it costs to repair it is lacking. No brakes means no car, which means no way of getting to work, which means no paycheck to pay for the stuff that needs fixed. Ugh. All that this really means is that I don't get to buy fun Christmas presents for my nieces or get the last few shots that I would like to/need to get before leaving.
On the other hand, I've been finding myself getting more and more excited about Uganda. Through the sadness of leaving there's excitement and anticipation. I had the awesome opportunity to talk with another missionary who I worked with in Uganda last time... she is home right now on furlough. She is an incredible encouragement and got me super excited about what's ahead.
I've been studying the life and ministry of Paul and the church in Acts. The Lord has been encouraging me to keep moving forward despite obstacles in my way, which has been huge because it seems like there are plenty of obstacles. I did the Beth Moore study, To Live Is Christ a couple of years ago and I've been going back through it because I love Paul and I love the beauty and simplicity of the early church. The absolute power of the Holy Spirit is incredible and awe-inspiring. Reading about the faith of the new believers, including Paul himself is so encouraging. As I prepare to leave, it's fun to read through other's missionary experiences, especially when it's coming straight from the Word of God. On top of reading about Paul and his ministry, I find myself re-reading the Christmas story and revelling in the creativity and genius of God. I do not love the frigid weather, but I do love this time of year, no matter how busy it gets.
The other night I was upstairs and I walked past Alexandria's room. She was supposed to be sleeping, instead I hear her little voice whisper, "TT??(This is what they call me because it sounds like Auntie)" So I went in her room to kiss her good night and she asks, "can I cuddle you in your bed?" It was so freakin cute, but I told her she had to ask her parents since she was supposed to be sleeping. She said, "can you tell them for me?" So of course I went downstairs and asked my sister if that was ok. She laughed and said that it was fine, but I had to be the one to put her back in her own bed and make her go to sleep. So I went back up, carried her downstairs to my room and we cuddled for like 10 minutes. She was so tired and it was so stinking cute. She was looking around my room and looking at the pictures on my wall and she asked me about a few that I have up from Africa. She then proceeded to ask me if I will still see her when I leave and then she told me that she was going to miss me. It was one of the sweetest moments ever. :) Here's a pic from that night.
Work has been absolutely insane because we're short a person. Mom has been coming to work, but obviously she can't do anything. I think the added pressure of having someone constantly standing over us doesn't help either. There have been some tense days. We're all doing what we can though and of course it's a good thing that we're so busy. Being busy = getting paid!
This past week was actually really rough for me personally, and without going into any detail as to why, I'd just like to ask for prayer. I appreciate it you guys. On top of that stuff, my car has decided that it needs a ton of maintenance right now including brake calipers which are essential in making sure that my brakes work, but the $400 it costs to repair it is lacking. No brakes means no car, which means no way of getting to work, which means no paycheck to pay for the stuff that needs fixed. Ugh. All that this really means is that I don't get to buy fun Christmas presents for my nieces or get the last few shots that I would like to/need to get before leaving.
On the other hand, I've been finding myself getting more and more excited about Uganda. Through the sadness of leaving there's excitement and anticipation. I had the awesome opportunity to talk with another missionary who I worked with in Uganda last time... she is home right now on furlough. She is an incredible encouragement and got me super excited about what's ahead.
I've been studying the life and ministry of Paul and the church in Acts. The Lord has been encouraging me to keep moving forward despite obstacles in my way, which has been huge because it seems like there are plenty of obstacles. I did the Beth Moore study, To Live Is Christ a couple of years ago and I've been going back through it because I love Paul and I love the beauty and simplicity of the early church. The absolute power of the Holy Spirit is incredible and awe-inspiring. Reading about the faith of the new believers, including Paul himself is so encouraging. As I prepare to leave, it's fun to read through other's missionary experiences, especially when it's coming straight from the Word of God. On top of reading about Paul and his ministry, I find myself re-reading the Christmas story and revelling in the creativity and genius of God. I do not love the frigid weather, but I do love this time of year, no matter how busy it gets.
The other night I was upstairs and I walked past Alexandria's room. She was supposed to be sleeping, instead I hear her little voice whisper, "TT??(This is what they call me because it sounds like Auntie)" So I went in her room to kiss her good night and she asks, "can I cuddle you in your bed?" It was so freakin cute, but I told her she had to ask her parents since she was supposed to be sleeping. She said, "can you tell them for me?" So of course I went downstairs and asked my sister if that was ok. She laughed and said that it was fine, but I had to be the one to put her back in her own bed and make her go to sleep. So I went back up, carried her downstairs to my room and we cuddled for like 10 minutes. She was so tired and it was so stinking cute. She was looking around my room and looking at the pictures on my wall and she asked me about a few that I have up from Africa. She then proceeded to ask me if I will still see her when I leave and then she told me that she was going to miss me. It was one of the sweetest moments ever. :) Here's a pic from that night.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thoughts on dating and a prayer request
First of all, I have a prayer request for you all. My mom slipped on some ice on Wednesday morning. She broke her left wrist, broke her right arm, and possibly shattered her left shoulder. She goes tomorrow for some more X-rays and an MRI I believe. She's obviously in a good amount of pain and on top of the pain is the inconvenience of not being able to use either arms. She can't feed herself, she can't drink, she can't use the restroom or shower without assistance. Work is out of the question, at least for the time being. Schedules are being altered, plans cancelled and/or changed. It's been humbling for us all, really. I'm praising God this morning for southwest airlines and their help in the situation. Most of you know, but my dad goes and stays at our house in Arizona during the winter months because of his health, but we were able to switch his Christmas flight to today at no cost. It was a huge help. Now he can be here to help with her since my sister and I will be running the business for a while. I would really appreciate your prayers. Thanks be to God for a Thanksgiving where we got to eat good food as a family, all in one state. :) Amazing.
On a completely different note I have been doing some thinking recently... uh oh, right? Well I went out with a friend from high school with whom I've recently reconnected, thanks to the wonderful world of Facebook. He and I weren't best friends, but out of my circle of friends I probably knew him best. Anyway we met for dinner at a nice restaurant just about a block from my job this past Tuesday night. We chatted for nearly 3 hours over dinner and it was really nice to catch up with an old friend and also break away from my normal schedule. The conversation flowed, it was fairly easy and natural. I enjoyed hearing about the last, almost 10 years of his life, and it was cool to be able to share about my heart for missions and love of ministry. It's always nice to share about stuff currently going on in life with someone who's on the outside looking in... new perspectives are always a good thing. It's also nice to be able to reminisce about good times had and laughs shared.
There was a familiarity in our meeting together. Even though we don't know each other now, it was as though we never skipped a beat. Yet, in the back of my mind I was considering all of the things that I don't really know about him. Not being in each other's lives for 10 years and not really being that close in high school, how much do I really know about him? Not much at all.
Then I got to thinking about how long it takes to really know someone. To be completely comfortable around them and to trust them implicitly. To be able to be 100% yourself, unapologetically. It takes a long time for a relationship like that. Shared experiences and time spent together is the only way to form that kind of a trust. It's hard work. Those kind of relationships are real and honest. As I sat and had dinner with a guy who I knew so little about, I started realizing how un-fun dating is for me. Don't get me wrong, I had fun and it was a great evening. We're not in any way going to start dating now, but just the setting made me think about how I am in dating situations. Meeting new people and dating is not fun. It's awkward and a lot of pressure. Also at almost 28, to meet someone new means having to take the time to learn all of the stuff about them and the last nearly 30 years of their life. That's a lot. And on top of that, how do you really know that nothing is being left out? Not that you have to know every single detail of some one's life, but just think about how much life happens in 28 years. Think through your life and experiences. It seems difficult and yes, I recognize that the reason that people know what they know about me is that we've spent time together, but at this point to meet someone new seems overwhelming. It's always fun to start fresh... that's a huge positive. With someone new you're given the opportunity to share stuff that everyone else has heard or knows and it's fun to be able to do that.
I don't really know what the point of this is at all. I was just bothered by my reaction to being out with someone and the thought that it would be too much work to build a new relationship. I know that a lot of this has to do with my leaving for Africa. Why start something with someone I don't know at all? Doesn't make sense. If we'd known each other for years, then it'd be okay and make some sense. I am all for starting a relationship at some point. My ultimate goal is to get married at some point right? I guess that means awkward dating.
I got to hang out with an awesome girl friend last night and she was talking about how she doesn't want to be in another relationship again unless she's known the person and been friends for a while. It just makes it easier, it's less awkward and more natural. She's been set up on some blind dates and fixed up with random guys and it's not been a fun experience for her. Maybe I'll take that approach.
Maybe I'm just lazy. :)
On a completely different note I have been doing some thinking recently... uh oh, right? Well I went out with a friend from high school with whom I've recently reconnected, thanks to the wonderful world of Facebook. He and I weren't best friends, but out of my circle of friends I probably knew him best. Anyway we met for dinner at a nice restaurant just about a block from my job this past Tuesday night. We chatted for nearly 3 hours over dinner and it was really nice to catch up with an old friend and also break away from my normal schedule. The conversation flowed, it was fairly easy and natural. I enjoyed hearing about the last, almost 10 years of his life, and it was cool to be able to share about my heart for missions and love of ministry. It's always nice to share about stuff currently going on in life with someone who's on the outside looking in... new perspectives are always a good thing. It's also nice to be able to reminisce about good times had and laughs shared.
There was a familiarity in our meeting together. Even though we don't know each other now, it was as though we never skipped a beat. Yet, in the back of my mind I was considering all of the things that I don't really know about him. Not being in each other's lives for 10 years and not really being that close in high school, how much do I really know about him? Not much at all.
Then I got to thinking about how long it takes to really know someone. To be completely comfortable around them and to trust them implicitly. To be able to be 100% yourself, unapologetically. It takes a long time for a relationship like that. Shared experiences and time spent together is the only way to form that kind of a trust. It's hard work. Those kind of relationships are real and honest. As I sat and had dinner with a guy who I knew so little about, I started realizing how un-fun dating is for me. Don't get me wrong, I had fun and it was a great evening. We're not in any way going to start dating now, but just the setting made me think about how I am in dating situations. Meeting new people and dating is not fun. It's awkward and a lot of pressure. Also at almost 28, to meet someone new means having to take the time to learn all of the stuff about them and the last nearly 30 years of their life. That's a lot. And on top of that, how do you really know that nothing is being left out? Not that you have to know every single detail of some one's life, but just think about how much life happens in 28 years. Think through your life and experiences. It seems difficult and yes, I recognize that the reason that people know what they know about me is that we've spent time together, but at this point to meet someone new seems overwhelming. It's always fun to start fresh... that's a huge positive. With someone new you're given the opportunity to share stuff that everyone else has heard or knows and it's fun to be able to do that.
I don't really know what the point of this is at all. I was just bothered by my reaction to being out with someone and the thought that it would be too much work to build a new relationship. I know that a lot of this has to do with my leaving for Africa. Why start something with someone I don't know at all? Doesn't make sense. If we'd known each other for years, then it'd be okay and make some sense. I am all for starting a relationship at some point. My ultimate goal is to get married at some point right? I guess that means awkward dating.
I got to hang out with an awesome girl friend last night and she was talking about how she doesn't want to be in another relationship again unless she's known the person and been friends for a while. It just makes it easier, it's less awkward and more natural. She's been set up on some blind dates and fixed up with random guys and it's not been a fun experience for her. Maybe I'll take that approach.
Maybe I'm just lazy. :)
Monday, November 22, 2010
Just Give Me Jesus!!
Just a heads up... I'm not referring the the book Just Give Me Jesus by Ann Graham Lotz, although I love that book and recommend it! :)
Recently as I've been spending time in the Word the Holy Spirit has been speaking to me loud and clear on my ministry and how I'm to disciple others. I've read through a couple of other books as well, one of them being Radical by David Platt. I highly recommend checking this book out. If you're complacent, burnt out, and/or tired of church politics, Radical is an amazing reminder of living life the way Christ intended us to live. The title really says it all.
Anyway, as I've been studying Acts, the early church, and the life and ministry of Christ I've found myself comparing the way I do ministry to those who were front runners in the early church. They were not apologetic for the Word that they were bringing. They did not dumb things down so as not to offend others. They were out there on the front lines preaching the truth of Jesus Christ to all those they came in contact with. They gave up living a (first century) comfortable life and "went". The Great Commission has been fueling my life recently, as I believe it should be, and I've never wanted to go, baptize, and teach more than I do now. I love this command from Jesus. I love that it's not a suggestion, but clear instructions on discipleship. Often times in the modern church we find ourselves swamped with programming, discipleship plans, and events which are all great and should definitely be up and running, however the picture of the early church is lost. What has happened to gathering together in a simple room, not always being the most comfortable place, and studying the Word of God? Why do we have to have the best sounding worship band? Why do people leave a church because they don't like the way a band sounds? What about making a joyful noise to the Lord? Now, being a music lover, I cringe at the thought of out of tune guitars and bad harmonies, but if we're singing to the Lord and our focus is 100% on Him and His glory, then what does it really matter?
What if we didn't even have music or fancy lights? What if we took away the comforts of the church building? Would we be as apt to show up on a Sunday morning if we knew we had to sit on a cold floor to hear the Word of God? Is the Word of God enough on a Sunday morning or do we have to fill time to keep people entertained. Do you have to have some huge experience every week in order to meet with God?
I completely understand that in our culture some of these things are expected and I venture to say almost necessary. Meeting people where they're at is hugely important in ministry. Look at Jesus. Unfortunately that eventually means catering to the wants, not needs of people, and something gets lost in the interim. What gets lost? Jesus.
Jesus' ministry was relational. His disciples, those closest to Him, were privileged to know Him and I mean really know him. The model of ministry that Jesus laid out for us seems so simple. Closely disciple a few, who will in turn disciple a few others, and those others will then be able to disciple others and so on. It's a "pyramid scheme" of sorts. Now, when you think of a pyramid scheme I'm almost certain that it conjures up negative thoughts and feelings. I often think of slimy money making schemes where the person at the top of the pyramid is living the high life and those below are doing all the grunt work. That is not the picture of Jesus' discipleship ministry though. While ministering to thousands, Jesus closely discipled 12. There is evidence of the strong, personal relationships He had with His disciples all over the gospels and the entire new testament. I love the intimate interactions that He had with the disciples. The level of comfort that they all felt with one another was that of family. They relied on each other. Jesus called upon them in emotional times, He called them to pray with Him. He desired to be near them and spend time with them. This is a beautiful picture of the type of relational ministry that I'm talking about. This is sometimes lost in the programming and discipleship planning. The most effective ministries happen when relationships are built. The more you spend time with people and show them the love of Christ, the greater your ministry will be.
I think of my ministry with the youth. I don't do everything right and I'm not perfect, despite what you may think. :) However I do my best to spend time with the youth, build relationships, which in turn builds trust and the ability to teach. There is a fine line between friendship and ministry when it comes to youth, but I believe that youth are most responsive when you love on them. Kids are constantly texting me and asking me to hang out and while some of it is just hang out time, some of it is mentoring/discipling time. I love it. It's so much fun... and so much work. It challenges me everyday to live my life in a way that exemplifies Christ. Youth watch your every move. They know when you mess up and they will generally call you out on things. Since they are watching so closely, the best way to keep up a good discipling relationship is to walk daily with the Lord. They will see it and mimic it to some extent.
I've been frustrated with myself for some time because of my expectations of the church, which is where this all stems from. There have been mornings when I find myself disappointed because we didn't sing my favorite song in worship or something silly like that. What I'm finding more and more is that I personally need to think through my expectations of my church experience. I need to go, meet with God, and not focus on the distractions of the lights and the ambiance.
Thinking about going back to Africa reminds me of church experiences there. People wake up, walk to church sometimes for miles in the best clothes that they can find. The preacher might preach for an hour or two, sometimes more and the people are there, hungry for the word of God. The music is simple, voices raised singing joyfully to the King. Sometimes there are keyboards and sometimes there's a drum, but either way people come to sing for hours to the Prince of Peace, to sit on hard benches or dirt floors under a tin or mud roof in the hot African sun. They come to meet with God. They come to worship and sing praises. They come poor, hungry, and naked to thank God for all He has done for them.
Talk about a picture of the early church! Gathering in the simplest of places to hear the Word of God. No programs. No lights. No comfortable chairs and air conditioning. Just Jesus. Just gathering as the body of Christ, loving each other as we love our God.
I realize that this was kind of disjointed, but my mind is working overtime right now on some of this stuff. Let me know how I can be praying for you. Much love!
Recently as I've been spending time in the Word the Holy Spirit has been speaking to me loud and clear on my ministry and how I'm to disciple others. I've read through a couple of other books as well, one of them being Radical by David Platt. I highly recommend checking this book out. If you're complacent, burnt out, and/or tired of church politics, Radical is an amazing reminder of living life the way Christ intended us to live. The title really says it all.
Anyway, as I've been studying Acts, the early church, and the life and ministry of Christ I've found myself comparing the way I do ministry to those who were front runners in the early church. They were not apologetic for the Word that they were bringing. They did not dumb things down so as not to offend others. They were out there on the front lines preaching the truth of Jesus Christ to all those they came in contact with. They gave up living a (first century) comfortable life and "went". The Great Commission has been fueling my life recently, as I believe it should be, and I've never wanted to go, baptize, and teach more than I do now. I love this command from Jesus. I love that it's not a suggestion, but clear instructions on discipleship. Often times in the modern church we find ourselves swamped with programming, discipleship plans, and events which are all great and should definitely be up and running, however the picture of the early church is lost. What has happened to gathering together in a simple room, not always being the most comfortable place, and studying the Word of God? Why do we have to have the best sounding worship band? Why do people leave a church because they don't like the way a band sounds? What about making a joyful noise to the Lord? Now, being a music lover, I cringe at the thought of out of tune guitars and bad harmonies, but if we're singing to the Lord and our focus is 100% on Him and His glory, then what does it really matter?
What if we didn't even have music or fancy lights? What if we took away the comforts of the church building? Would we be as apt to show up on a Sunday morning if we knew we had to sit on a cold floor to hear the Word of God? Is the Word of God enough on a Sunday morning or do we have to fill time to keep people entertained. Do you have to have some huge experience every week in order to meet with God?
I completely understand that in our culture some of these things are expected and I venture to say almost necessary. Meeting people where they're at is hugely important in ministry. Look at Jesus. Unfortunately that eventually means catering to the wants, not needs of people, and something gets lost in the interim. What gets lost? Jesus.
Jesus' ministry was relational. His disciples, those closest to Him, were privileged to know Him and I mean really know him. The model of ministry that Jesus laid out for us seems so simple. Closely disciple a few, who will in turn disciple a few others, and those others will then be able to disciple others and so on. It's a "pyramid scheme" of sorts. Now, when you think of a pyramid scheme I'm almost certain that it conjures up negative thoughts and feelings. I often think of slimy money making schemes where the person at the top of the pyramid is living the high life and those below are doing all the grunt work. That is not the picture of Jesus' discipleship ministry though. While ministering to thousands, Jesus closely discipled 12. There is evidence of the strong, personal relationships He had with His disciples all over the gospels and the entire new testament. I love the intimate interactions that He had with the disciples. The level of comfort that they all felt with one another was that of family. They relied on each other. Jesus called upon them in emotional times, He called them to pray with Him. He desired to be near them and spend time with them. This is a beautiful picture of the type of relational ministry that I'm talking about. This is sometimes lost in the programming and discipleship planning. The most effective ministries happen when relationships are built. The more you spend time with people and show them the love of Christ, the greater your ministry will be.
I think of my ministry with the youth. I don't do everything right and I'm not perfect, despite what you may think. :) However I do my best to spend time with the youth, build relationships, which in turn builds trust and the ability to teach. There is a fine line between friendship and ministry when it comes to youth, but I believe that youth are most responsive when you love on them. Kids are constantly texting me and asking me to hang out and while some of it is just hang out time, some of it is mentoring/discipling time. I love it. It's so much fun... and so much work. It challenges me everyday to live my life in a way that exemplifies Christ. Youth watch your every move. They know when you mess up and they will generally call you out on things. Since they are watching so closely, the best way to keep up a good discipling relationship is to walk daily with the Lord. They will see it and mimic it to some extent.
I've been frustrated with myself for some time because of my expectations of the church, which is where this all stems from. There have been mornings when I find myself disappointed because we didn't sing my favorite song in worship or something silly like that. What I'm finding more and more is that I personally need to think through my expectations of my church experience. I need to go, meet with God, and not focus on the distractions of the lights and the ambiance.
Thinking about going back to Africa reminds me of church experiences there. People wake up, walk to church sometimes for miles in the best clothes that they can find. The preacher might preach for an hour or two, sometimes more and the people are there, hungry for the word of God. The music is simple, voices raised singing joyfully to the King. Sometimes there are keyboards and sometimes there's a drum, but either way people come to sing for hours to the Prince of Peace, to sit on hard benches or dirt floors under a tin or mud roof in the hot African sun. They come to meet with God. They come to worship and sing praises. They come poor, hungry, and naked to thank God for all He has done for them.
Talk about a picture of the early church! Gathering in the simplest of places to hear the Word of God. No programs. No lights. No comfortable chairs and air conditioning. Just Jesus. Just gathering as the body of Christ, loving each other as we love our God.
I realize that this was kind of disjointed, but my mind is working overtime right now on some of this stuff. Let me know how I can be praying for you. Much love!
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