I want to thank you all who have prayed for my dad this week with his surgery. He is a little sore, naturally, but he's doing well. Apparently he has to have another surgery a week from this Thursday on October, 7th. more prayers are welcome then. :) He has had so many surgeries in his life time, it's pretty ridiculous actually. He has a disease called Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome (RSDS), now sometimes to referred to as CRPS. This website gives a very brief overview of the disease. https://health.google.com/health/ref/Complex+regional+pain+syndrome Dad has always been in stage three and there's really no way of turning it around. He's in pain constantly. The reason for his recent surgery was to have the spinal cord stimulator in his back replaced. He has two of these devices in his body and they help to control some of the pain. The old units had batteries that only last for up to five years. He had a new unit put in on Thursday with a battery life of up to nine years. Hopefully it will last that long. However, the lead that connects to his spinal cord is not functioning now, so he will go back on for another surgery to replace that lead. Realistically it could have been done this past week, but doctors know best right? Actually if you couldn't detect my sarcasm, I'm pretty frustrated with the whole situation. It is a bit excessive for a 61 year old man to have to have this many major surgeries (5 in a year). The anesthetic cannot be good for you that frequently. Anyway, that's the update on my dad... thanks for the prayers.
Something else I wanted to do today was write out some things that have been floating around my head lately. This will be many disjointed thoughts, not necessarily related at all to each other, some maybe selfish, but they're honest. Mostly this is stuff you might know already. Read at your own risk.
I want to get married soon enough for my daddy to be able to WALK me down the aisle. All the surgeries are not encouraging me to believe that will ever happen. It's not his fault and I'm not sure that he would care whether I got married in a church or a courthouse.
I'm not sure I want to have some big lavish wedding. I think a backyard barbecue would be just as much, if not more fun than a huge fancy reception. I have a feeling I won't want to be dressed up all day.
A wedding is not about a party at all... it's really about celebrating a marriage... and praising God. I want to worship at my wedding... maybe I'll play some guitar.
I would rather be outside doing something, even if it's nothing exciting, than sitting inside staring at the tv.
I really like tv some days, but often feel like I've wasted time when I watch for too long. It's a catch 22 for me.
I'm not good at time management, or as good as I would like to be.
I love to rest, but when I'm not busy I'm bored. I will complain about how tired I am, but then opt not to sleep in order to do something else.
I'm not good at taking naps, but I kind of want to be better.
I love the beach... like really love the beach, but wandering through the forrest/mountains is an adventure I would take any day.
I love to hike, but I'm clumsy so it's funny for whoever is with me.
I don't like to sweat, but I sweat all the time... a trait inherited from my dad. Sweaty hands are gross and embarrassing. Oh well, it is what it is.
My college degree is finally being used and I'm just realizing how grateful I am to be good at communicating with people. The skills that I learned have enabled me to have some really cool relationships with youth.
I love speaking to large groups, but often don't prepare. When I prepare I get nervous thinking that I will forget something.
I love being a mentor.
I tend to trust people from the start, but if it's broken, good luck repairing it. I should work on that.
Some of my best friends are in high school/college right now and I'm ok with that.
God has given me this ability to love people implicitly, and sometimes obviously. I would not change it for the world. My compassion keeps me busy.
I want to use the abilities I've been given to love others deeply, as Christ loves them. I love having a ministry that spans continents.
I am a people pleaser, who often seeks the approval of others. Yet, some times I don't care what other people think because I can be pretty hard headed.
I can talk my way out of things pretty well, something I learned from my sister (who probably has never paid a late fee, or a ticket she didn't deserve in her life.)
I am blunt and will be honest, but also careful with feelings. If you ask me what I think or how I feel I'll probably tell you straight up.
I am more self-conscience than I would like... I wish I was better at eating healthy and exercising. I need to lose weight. Will I be happier then?
I absolutely adore babies... especially tiny newborn babies. I have lots of experience with them and I'm good at caring for them and loving on them. I'm going to be a good mom, not too much of a freak, first time mom. I don't want kids any time soon though. As much as I love them, I have no desire to have my own for a long time. I just really love being around all these babies again. I wish my sister would have another one... a boy. :)
I love spending time with my nieces. 3 and a half and almost 6 years old... they are so cute. So naughty sometimes!
My youth kids are amazing... from both WSC and NHPC. I wish I could split myself in half so I could be with both groups all the time. Thank God for effective ministry.
Going back to Africa is something I've wanted to do since the day I set foot back in America. Now I'm getting sad as the time draws nearer for me to leave again. I've had too much time to think about leaving this time. God is sovereign and His timing is perfect. Apparently I wasn't ready to go when I wanted to, so I'll go when He sees fit.
God is my all, my everything even though I don't always turn to Him before I turn to others. I feel weak every time I try to do stuff on my own. It's sometimes easier to give a friend a call when I have a need, but ultimately until I bring it before the Lord I can't be peaceful.
I struggle to live with my family and don't tell them I love them enough. The truth is that I love them more than words can say. My brother is awesome and could do anything he wants in life, but he's held back by himself and his addictions. He should be playing major league baseball, but that time has passed him by. Sometimes I fear for his life. Leaving for Africa becomes harder when I think about him.
I think I'll always have at least one pet. I hate cats and will hopefully never own one. I love dogs... I don't love when I move to Uganda and my family gives my dog away. I love having a turtle.
As much as I love all things music, I'm mediocre at best and have to work hard to be mediocre. I have no confidence in my vocals or my ability to play the guitar and sometimes am too embarrassed to play/sing in front of others. When I'm doing it for the Lord though, it's all about Him and not how I sound. Thankfully. I should have stuck with my music major. I was good at music theory.
I like to read, but am guilty of picking a series that I really like and reading and rereading the same books over and over. I've read nothing but Harry Potter and Twilight for the past year. I need to work on being that excited to read my bible, and not so cocky thinking that I know it all.
Mighty Ducks 2 and Sandlot might be two of my all time favorite movies.
I love sports. The Cubs will always be my team no matter how many years it is before they win again. Da Bears have the ability to make me scream at the tv... obviously I could run the plays more effectively! :) I'll always be a fan of Chicago sports (minus that team from the south side) and I think I'll always despise Green Bay and the Colts.
I used to avoid the sun so as not to appear to be anything but Italian and now I love the brown-ness of my skin. My dad had skin cancer... I should be more careful than I am.
When I see pain in someone's life I try to fix it... unsolicited mostly. I think everyone deserves to be loved and to understand that they deserve to be loved.
I have only truly loved one guy. I've been "in love" with a few guys. There's a huge difference.
Purity is something I cherish and will preach it until I die. What a gift to give your future husband or wife. It didn't used to be such a rare gift. The consequences are beyond what you may think.
I love the city, but would rather live in the country where I can have a yard to play in.
Africa has forever changed my life. Uganda is beautiful. I can't wait to spend more time in Kenya and Sudan. I love being called to missions right now, despite the sadness of leaving. I want to walk the orange dirt roads today and hear a boda man call out, "Hey Mzungu!!"
I want to experience other cultures too. Being fluent in Spanish, Italian, and Swahili, and Arabic would be awesome. I want to learn languages. Russia presents a challenge to me because it's hard to get into and the language seems impossible. We'll see. I am willing to go anywhere and serve, including here in America.
I sometimes go on rants, but most of the time I write them out in email form and refrain from clicking send because when I read them a week later, it's not that big of a deal.
Writing out my true feelings is easier for me that speaking them because I tend to forget everything I want to say or express.
I love to write. I can knock out a good 10 pager in a few hours of focused time and do well on it.
I've been told that my 7 tattoos make me look trashy, which makes me kinda sad, but I understand it. I definitely regret the placement of some of them. I regret getting two altogether. It's too expensive to have them removed and not worth the scarring.
With all the surgeries I've had to have over my life, I should be set as an adult. I don't have an appendix, tonsils, or a gall bladder. I've had foot surgery, ear tubes more times than I can remember (hence the difficulty I have with hearing), and have had my wisdom teeth removed. Anesthesia makes me totally goofy. Any time I've gotten vicodin for the pain after surgery I've made a fool of myself. I'm a lightweight when it comes to that stuff I guess.
I hate money. I don't like having it, I don't like having to deal with it. I know I"ll never have a lot and I'm actually thankful for that. It runs the world and ruins lives, but somehow it's a necessity. I can manage a budget with ease, but would rather not need to.
I went to bed at 4:00 this morning and got up at 9... so I'm gonna go practice that whole nap taking thing.
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