Lots of Little Things...

Mom Update: Left wrist is in a hard cast. Right arm and shoulder are still in just a sling because she hasn't had surgery yet. No decision has been made as to whether they are going to try to repair the shoulder or if they are going to do a complete shoulder replacement. There are obviously pros and cons to both of those options. It will be a game time call. Once they cut her open and see the extent of the damage they will make the decision. She will have to stay overnight at the hospital as well, which she is not happy about. She is having surgery next week and I would really appreciate your prayers.

Work has been absolutely insane because we're short a person. Mom has been coming to work, but obviously she can't do anything. I think the added pressure of having someone constantly standing over us doesn't help either. There have been some tense days. We're all doing what we can though and of course it's a good thing that we're so busy. Being busy = getting paid!

This past week was actually really rough for me personally, and without going into any detail as to why, I'd just like to ask for prayer. I appreciate it you guys. On top of that stuff, my car has decided that it needs a ton of maintenance right now including brake calipers which are essential in making sure that my brakes work, but the $400 it costs to repair it is lacking. No brakes means no car, which means no way of getting to work, which means no paycheck to pay for the stuff that needs fixed. Ugh. All that this really means is that I don't get to buy fun Christmas presents for my nieces or get the last few shots that I would like to/need to get before leaving.

On the other hand, I've been finding myself getting more and more excited about Uganda. Through the sadness of leaving there's excitement and anticipation. I had the awesome opportunity to talk with another missionary who I worked with in Uganda last time... she is home right now on furlough. She is an incredible encouragement and got me super excited about what's ahead.

I've been studying the life and ministry of Paul and the church in Acts. The Lord has been encouraging me to keep moving forward despite obstacles in my way, which has been huge because it seems like there are plenty of obstacles. I did the Beth Moore study, To Live Is Christ a couple of years ago and I've been going back through it because I love Paul and I love the beauty and simplicity of the early church. The absolute power of the Holy Spirit is incredible and awe-inspiring. Reading about the faith of the new believers, including Paul himself is so encouraging. As I prepare to leave, it's fun to read through other's missionary experiences, especially when it's coming straight from the Word of God. On top of reading about Paul and his ministry, I find myself re-reading the Christmas story and revelling in the creativity and genius of God. I do not love the frigid weather, but I do love this time of year, no matter how busy it gets.

The other night I was upstairs and I walked past Alexandria's room. She was supposed to be sleeping, instead I hear her little voice whisper, "TT??(This is what they call me because it sounds like Auntie)" So I went in her room to kiss her good night and she asks, "can I cuddle you in your bed?" It was so freakin cute, but I told her she had to ask her parents since she was supposed to be sleeping. She said, "can you tell them for me?" So of course I went downstairs and asked my sister if that was ok. She laughed and said that it was fine, but I had to be the one to put her back in her own bed and make her go to sleep. So I went back up, carried her downstairs to my room and we cuddled for like 10 minutes. She was so tired and it was so stinking cute. She was looking around my room and looking at the pictures on my wall and she asked me about a few that I have up from Africa. She then proceeded to ask me if I will still see her when I leave and then she told me that she was going to miss me. It was one of the sweetest moments ever. :) Here's a pic from that night.

Thoughts on dating and a prayer request

First of all, I have a prayer request for you all. My mom slipped on some ice on Wednesday morning. She broke her left wrist, broke her right arm, and possibly shattered her left shoulder. She goes tomorrow for some more X-rays and an MRI I believe. She's obviously in a good amount of pain and on top of the pain is the inconvenience of not being able to use either arms. She can't feed herself, she can't drink, she can't use the restroom or shower without assistance. Work is out of the question, at least for the time being. Schedules are being altered, plans cancelled and/or changed. It's been humbling for us all, really. I'm praising God this morning for southwest airlines and their help in the situation. Most of you know, but my dad goes and stays at our house in Arizona during the winter months because of his health, but we were able to switch his Christmas flight to today at no cost. It was a huge help. Now he can be here to help with her since my sister and I will be running the business for a while. I would really appreciate your prayers. Thanks be to God for a Thanksgiving where we got to eat good food as a family, all in one state. :) Amazing.

On a completely different note I have been doing some thinking recently... uh oh, right? Well I went out with a friend from high school with whom I've recently reconnected, thanks to the wonderful world of Facebook. He and I weren't best friends, but out of my circle of friends I probably knew him best. Anyway we met for dinner at a nice restaurant just about a block from my job this past Tuesday night. We chatted for nearly 3 hours over dinner and it was really nice to catch up with an old friend and also break away from my normal schedule. The conversation flowed, it was fairly easy and natural. I enjoyed hearing about the last, almost 10 years of his life, and it was cool to be able to share about my heart for missions and love of ministry. It's always nice to share about stuff currently going on in life with someone who's on the outside looking in... new perspectives are always a good thing. It's also nice to be able to reminisce about good times had and laughs shared.
There was a familiarity in our meeting together. Even though we don't know each other now, it was as though we never skipped a beat. Yet, in the back of my mind I was considering all of the things that I don't really know about him. Not being in each other's lives for 10 years and not really being that close in high school, how much do I really know about him? Not much at all.
Then I got to thinking about how long it takes to really know someone. To be completely comfortable around them and to trust them implicitly. To be able to be 100% yourself, unapologetically. It takes a long time for a relationship like that. Shared experiences and time spent together is the only way to form that kind of a trust. It's hard work. Those kind of relationships are real and honest. As I sat and had dinner with a guy who I knew so little about, I started realizing how un-fun dating is for me. Don't get me wrong, I had fun and it was a great evening. We're not in any way going to start dating now, but just the setting made me think about how I am in dating situations. Meeting new people and dating is not fun. It's awkward and a lot of pressure. Also at almost 28, to meet someone new means having to take the time to learn all of the stuff about them and the last nearly 30 years of their life. That's a lot. And on top of that, how do you really know that nothing is being left out? Not that you have to know every single detail of some one's life, but just think about how much life happens in 28 years. Think through your life and experiences. It seems difficult and yes, I recognize that the reason that people know what they know about me is that we've spent time together, but at this point to meet someone new seems overwhelming. It's always fun to start fresh... that's a huge positive. With someone new you're given the opportunity to share stuff that everyone else has heard or knows and it's fun to be able to do that.
I don't really know what the point of this is at all. I was just bothered by my reaction to being out with someone and the thought that it would be too much work to build a new relationship. I know that a lot of this has to do with my leaving for Africa. Why start something with someone I don't know at all? Doesn't make sense. If we'd known each other for years, then it'd be okay and make some sense. I am all for starting a relationship at some point. My ultimate goal is to get married at some point right? I guess that means awkward dating.
I got to hang out with an awesome girl friend last night and she was talking about how she doesn't want to be in another relationship again unless she's known the person and been friends for a while. It just makes it easier, it's less awkward and more natural. She's been set up on some blind dates and fixed up with random guys and it's not been a fun experience for her. Maybe I'll take that approach.
Maybe I'm just lazy. :)

Just Give Me Jesus!!

Just a heads up... I'm not referring the the book Just Give Me Jesus by Ann Graham Lotz, although I love that book and recommend it! :)

Recently as I've been spending time in the Word the Holy Spirit has been speaking to me loud and clear on my ministry and how I'm to disciple others. I've read through a couple of other books as well, one of them being Radical by David Platt. I highly recommend checking this book out. If you're complacent, burnt out, and/or tired of church politics, Radical is an amazing reminder of living life the way Christ intended us to live. The title really says it all.
Anyway, as I've been studying Acts, the early church, and the life and ministry of Christ I've found myself comparing the way I do ministry to those who were front runners in the early church. They were not apologetic for the Word that they were bringing. They did not dumb things down so as not to offend others. They were out there on the front lines preaching the truth of Jesus Christ to all those they came in contact with. They gave up living a (first century) comfortable life and "went". The Great Commission has been fueling my life recently, as I believe it should be, and I've never wanted to go, baptize, and teach more than I do now. I love this command from Jesus. I love that it's not a suggestion, but clear instructions on discipleship. Often times in the modern church we find ourselves swamped with programming, discipleship plans, and events which are all great and should definitely be up and running, however the picture of the early church is lost. What has happened to gathering together in a simple room, not always being the most comfortable place, and studying the Word of God? Why do we have to have the best sounding worship band? Why do people leave a church because they don't like the way a band sounds? What about making a joyful noise to the Lord? Now, being a music lover, I cringe at the thought of out of tune guitars and bad harmonies, but if we're singing to the Lord and our focus is 100% on Him and His glory, then what does it really matter?
What if we didn't even have music or fancy lights? What if we took away the comforts of the church building? Would we be as apt to show up on a Sunday morning if we knew we had to sit on a cold floor to hear the Word of God? Is the Word of God enough on a Sunday morning or do we have to fill time to keep people entertained. Do you have to have some huge experience every week in order to meet with God?
I completely understand that in our culture some of these things are expected and I venture to say almost necessary. Meeting people where they're at is hugely important in ministry. Look at Jesus. Unfortunately that eventually means catering to the wants, not needs of people, and something gets lost in the interim. What gets lost? Jesus.
Jesus' ministry was relational. His disciples, those closest to Him, were privileged to know Him and I mean really know him. The model of ministry that Jesus laid out for us seems so simple. Closely disciple a few, who will in turn disciple a few others, and those others will then be able to disciple others and so on. It's a "pyramid scheme" of sorts. Now, when you think of a pyramid scheme I'm almost certain that it conjures up negative thoughts and feelings. I often think of slimy money making schemes where the person at the top of the pyramid is living the high life and those below are doing all the grunt work. That is not the picture of Jesus' discipleship ministry though. While ministering to thousands, Jesus closely discipled 12. There is evidence of the strong, personal relationships He had with His disciples all over the gospels and the entire new testament. I love the intimate interactions that He had with the disciples. The level of comfort that they all felt with one another was that of family. They relied on each other. Jesus called upon them in emotional times, He called them to pray with Him. He desired to be near them and spend time with them. This is a beautiful picture of the type of relational ministry that I'm talking about. This is sometimes lost in the programming and discipleship planning. The most effective ministries happen when relationships are built. The more you spend time with people and show them the love of Christ, the greater your ministry will be.
I think of my ministry with the youth. I don't do everything right and I'm not perfect, despite what you may think. :) However I do my best to spend time with the youth, build relationships, which in turn builds trust and the ability to teach. There is a fine line between friendship and ministry when it comes to youth, but I believe that youth are most responsive when you love on them. Kids are constantly texting me and asking me to hang out and while some of it is just hang out time, some of it is mentoring/discipling time. I love it. It's so much fun... and so much work. It challenges me everyday to live my life in a way that exemplifies Christ. Youth watch your every move. They know when you mess up and they will generally call you out on things. Since they are watching so closely, the best way to keep up a good discipling relationship is to walk daily with the Lord. They will see it and mimic it to some extent.
I've been frustrated with myself for some time because of my expectations of the church, which is where this all stems from. There have been mornings when I find myself disappointed because we didn't sing my favorite song in worship or something silly like that. What I'm finding more and more is that I personally need to think through my expectations of my church experience. I need to go, meet with God, and not focus on the distractions of the lights and the ambiance.
Thinking about going back to Africa reminds me of church experiences there. People wake up, walk to church sometimes for miles in the best clothes that they can find. The preacher might preach for an hour or two, sometimes more and the people are there, hungry for the word of God. The music is simple, voices raised singing joyfully to the King. Sometimes there are keyboards and sometimes there's a drum, but either way people come to sing for hours to the Prince of Peace, to sit on hard benches or dirt floors under a tin or mud roof in the hot African sun. They come to meet with God. They come to worship and sing praises. They come poor, hungry, and naked to thank God for all He has done for them.
Talk about a picture of the early church! Gathering in the simplest of places to hear the Word of God. No programs. No lights. No comfortable chairs and air conditioning. Just Jesus. Just gathering as the body of Christ, loving each other as we love our God.
I realize that this was kind of disjointed, but my mind is working overtime right now on some of this stuff. Let me know how I can be praying for you. Much love!

Birthday Wish

I know I just posted like 2 days ago, but as I'm sitting here at work avoiding actually working I was thinking about my birthday. Ok no... it's not until December 30th, but those of you who know me well know that my birthday is my favorite day of the year. Not really for any specific reason either. I just love birthdays and love celebrating life I guess. This coming birthday isn't even anything special like a golden birthday or a big number or something. I still have 2 more years until a big birthday. I've decided what I want more than anything... I want to see all of the people I love together at one time. I realize that this is nearly impossible seeing as though not everyone lives within a 50 mile radius of me. Again, time spent is my love language so any time I get to spend with people is a blessing for me. I'm leaving within weeks of my birthday, so it seems like a good time to see everyone before I go. Also, I won't be in the US next year on my b-day. I haven't made any plans yet, but I'm thinking a b-day/going away party would be fun. I also know that not everyone is available because of Christmas and New Years, but let's make it a point to hang out before I leave on January 19th, mmmmk?? :)
The end.

Take Away the Sadness

The past few weeks have flown by in a whirlwind of activity. From a fairly busy weekend in Indy to Kayla's 6th birthday, I've found myself constantly in motion. This past week I played mommy to my nieces for a couple of days as my sister was out of town and my brother in law works crazy hours. Getting two kids ready for school and day care makes you late if you're not used to the routine. We had a good couple of days, but I was tired! Friday morning made it all worth it though. I had explained to Alexandria that she might wake up on Friday and no one would be home upstairs. My room is downstairs so I told her to come find me if she woke up and no one was home. My alarm went off and about two minutes later I heard little footsteps, my door knob being turned, and a little voice saying, "no one's upstairs, can I cuddle you??" It was like the cutest thing ever. So we cuddled for like 3 minutes and then started our day. :)

Kayla's birthday party was here yesterday so there were plenty of preparations to be made. I spent most of the day cleaning and helping my sister get food ready. Once guests started to arrive it was nonstop chatting, cleaning up, and playing with kids. My brother in law, Terry's parents were here and it's always nice to see them. They're so sweet. I was talking with his mom and she told me that Kayla was pretty upset about me leaving for Africa. I looked at her a bit confused because I've been explaining to the girls about Africa for a while now. Apparently last weekend when Kayla was with her grandma and grandpa she told them she was upset that I'm leaving. She doesn't really understand, which makes it that much harder. I know I say this all the time, but I'm not a cryer, however hearing how sad my little buddy is kind of broke my heart. I wish there was a way I could explain it. Last year when I was away I wrote Kayla and Alex letters that I'll give them someday. I only wrote them a couple of times each, but I basically told them about Uganda and why I was doing what I was. I'm planning on doing the same thing again this year, but maybe this time I'll send Kayla a couple of them.

Something that made me feel a little bit better was having Kayla talk on Skype with some friends of mine in Uganda. My old roommate, Jean was having a bunch of the girls from our discipleship group over for a sleepover. She's still in Uganda, so she's been able to disciple the same girls all this time. Anyway at their sleepover they called me on Skype and I got to see and talk to a bunch of beautiful women that I haven't seen in over a year. It was one of the sweetest moments of my whole life. They were begging me to bring my guitar back which has been a debate in my mind for a while now. They decided to sing a few songs to me that I had taught them when I was there. It may sound a little dramatic, but if I'm being totally honest it was as though heaven had opened up and I got a glimpse of eternity. The sound of the girls singing, their beautiful, effortless harmonies and honest hearts, filled my heart with pure joy. The sound of true worshippers singing to the King is awesome. It was such a precious moment and I'm praising the Lord for Skype. After they sang to me and we chatted for a bit they asked me to get my nieces so they could meet them. The girls came in my room and had the pleasure of having my African friends sing happy birthday to Kayla in probably the most energetic version of the song ever sung. Kayla and Alex loved seeing them and getting to talk to them for a minute. It was difficult for my girls to understand the accents, but it was cute to hear them try. It was good for Kayla and Alex to see what it would be like being able to talk to me when I'm there too. I hope it put Kayla at ease a little bit. Last time I wasn't good about Skyping with anyone. I didn't call as often as I could have and I distanced myself unnecessarily. My goal is to not be so wrapped up myself that I let that happen again. I want to encourage you all right now to get a Skype account and a web cam so that we can chat and keep up. Do it!! I really stink at emailing, so it's really going to be the best way to keep in touch.

Then this morning in church was faith promise weekend. Basically it means prayerfully seeking the Lord and asking Him how much He will provide to give to faith promise. Faith promise money goes to support the missionaries and missions that our church supports. I happen to be on that list of missionaries and can I just say that it was beautiful to watch all of the people go forward with their faith promise cards? Seeing so many people say "yes" to Jesus and the Great Commission is awesome. Last year during faith promise I shared my story with the congregation. I explained about my trip to Uganda and my hopes for a return. Now I'm on the horizon of another year thanks to the faithful supporters, like you, who have said "yes". Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!! This morning a man preached about being faithful because God is faithful. Trusting the Lord implicitly. He shared stories of foreign missions, and one story in particular struck me. He spoke of 150 Kenyan AIDs orphans and the money raised to build them a home. It was a beautiful story and of course meant to be moving, to show the good that faith promise money does. As I listened to the sermon I was surrounded by teenagers. I always sit with the youth on Sunday mornings, but this morning as I watched them play, chat, and love on each other I was overcome with the sadness of leaving them. Then throughout the course of the morning I had several different youth at different times express their sadness at my departure. Of course, nothing makes me feel more loved than to hear I'm wanted, but nothing makes me more sad these days. Even though I'm ready and excited about being back in Africa, I'm SOOOO incredibly sad to leave. I know I've mentioned this before, but I can't get away from the sadness. The next 2 months are going to be so difficult if every event is full of, "I'm gonna miss you", "don't go!!", "a year is sooooo long!!", and "aw, you're going to miss (insert event)!". I know I'm going to miss those things. I know their lives are going to move on. I know that a year seems long to a teenager. As I try to push the sadness away - because I know that the year will be incredible and I'm SO pumped to be in Africa again- I find myself imploding with emotion.

I am aware that the youth say these things because they love me and they will truly miss me. The Lord has blessed me with this ability to build awesome mentoring relationships/friendships with kids and I know I've had an affect on them. BUT I don't want the next 2 months to be full of sadness. I don't want every event to be the "last time we'll do this with you". I want to have fun and keep ministering. Will you join me in praying for my relationships with the youth, with my friends, and with family? Believe it or not there are people who I've called friend for a long time that are having a hard time with me leaving. I understand the emotion. I'm not belittling it at all. It's just that I've done this before and this is what I will be doing in some capacity for my entire life if I'm living out Jesus' commands. I would love for people to be supportive. Ask me questions about it, be involved in my life by being involved in my ministry. Your lives will continue on just fine without me here and I still want to be a part of them. Just because I'm in Africa doesn't mean I don't want to hear about the things you're doing here in the States. You guys are all so significant to me. I care about every part of your life while I'm in Africa even if we don't get to talk every day anymore.
Join me in praying for the youth's hearts and souls. Pray for Africa and the exciting and not-so-exciting things I'll do. Pray for hearts to be changed, the Kingdom to be furthered, and souls won. Pray for those who don't understand how I can leave for a year to help people on the other side of the world when there are people hurting right here in Illinois. Pray for health and safety. Pray for each other, for my friends and family.

Please understand that even though I feel a sadness at being physically separated, I'm nothing if not thrilled to go again. I don't want anyone to misunderstand this sadness for regret because that is not the case. I think it's ok for me to be sad, and it's ok for you to be sad, but let's not allow it to dictate the next couple of months. :) Much love!

Official Date and Prayer Requests

After quite a few months of uncertainty I have an official departure date. I will be boarding a plane January 19th to head back to Uganda! I have a quick 4 hour layover in London (no time to explore like last time), and then I head to Uganda. From the time I take off from Chicago to the time I land in Entebbe, UG, I will only have been traveling for like 20 hours or so... not too bad. Hopefully there will be time to shower in the Heathrow Airport again though. Needless to say, it feels good to have a set date. The tickets are bought and now I can sit back and wait to leave... well sort of.
Leading up to my departure, my schedule is booked out. This month is full of trips to Indy, birthdays, holidays, etc. Next month I'm sure I'll be heading to Indy a few times to spend time with and say goodbye to the kids there. Then Christmas, my birthday, and New Years will keep me busy, along with college kids being home on break and my high school bff being in town. I leave for a quick trip to Lakeland, Florida from January 6-10 to visit my bff, Stacy and hopefully meet her new baby girl if she's born by then. I come back from that and leave to go on the high school winter retreat with my church Jan 14-16, and then a few days later I leave the country.
When I see it all written out like that it seems a bit insane. Honestly though, my love language is time spent so for me it's really important to see people and spend time with them, even if that means driving/flying everywhere to be with people I love. Plus as you all know I get bored when I'm not busy so this will help the time to pass.
Of course I'm filled with mixed emotions and the thought of leaving all of you guys makes me sad, but I know that I'm ready for the year ahead of me and there's a lot to look forward to there. Plus, life goes on here and before you know I'll be back and ready to rock... and by rock I mean start grad school. :)

On a completely different note, it's only Tuesday and this week has been filled with sadness. I found out yesterday that my second cousin passed away. He was a really cool guy, always so sweet. My grandpa used to be bff with him, so he was around a lot. He'll be missed. On top of that, my roommate from Uganda, Jean emailed yesterday to tell me that Obeti, the little boy who used to live on my compound in Uganda died. He was maybe 4 years old at most. He was the son of our guard, only spoke Swahili (and maybe some french as they were Congolese), and was a really sweet little guy. He was always excited to help out, opening and closing the gate for us and we came and left, greeting us, playing happily on the small compound. It makes me sad to think that he spend a lot of his short little life inside the walls of a compound, no other kids to play with, no toys, and very little food.
If I was sitting out on the couch playing guitar he would make his way and sit on our stoop and play with a stick or something and just listen. Even though there was very little verbal communication between us, I knew that he cared about Jean and I. The cause of his death is unknown because autopsies don't occur, but there is suspicion that he was poisoned by a neighbor. Can you imagine? I know it's hard to understand, but this is not completely uncommon. His family had already lost another boy, so now it's just the mother, father, and a little girl. Please pray for the family. Pray for Congo and for peace in that war-torn nation. Every day hundreds are dying or being taken into war as slaves. Pray for Jean, myself, and others affected by Obeti's life.
Beyond those deaths, one of my best friends is experiencing the slow loss of his grandma and dealing with the emotions of a family in mourning. Then a friend of the family just lost two people very close to him too. It seems like death is surrounding us on all sides these days. Thankfully the Lord is victorious over death!! Death has lost it's power! Hallelujah!!
Thanks again to all of you who have supported me in prayer over the last few years as the ministry here and overseas has been moving forward. God is so good. I appreciate you all! Be checking back for updates as plans to depart move forward. Much love!

My First Marriage Proposal!

The never-before told story, but first some other stuff...

On Monday I found myself up at 4am, if you recall. Yesterday I woke up at 3:45am and couldn't go back to sleep. Last night, against my better judgement (but exhausted) I took a couple of Benadryl to ensure some sleep. This morning I didn't wake up until 5:45 thanks to the medicine, but I woke up with a tension headache that just won't cease. Not to be a whiner... but I just want to sleep!! I don't have to wake up until 7 everyday and I'd really like to sleep until then. Since I've been awake so much lately my mind has been working overtime. My mom says I'm not sleeping because I have too much on my mind. So I was trying to think through things that might be causing me anxiety. Maybe it's thinking of leaving people I love, but that's not for 2 and a half more months. Maybe it's trying to figure out relationships. Maybe I'm thinking in circles about what I'm supposed to be doing in my ministry here for now. It's possible that I'm anxious due to my physical self. Maybe I just need to cry it out?? But I won't because that's not what I do. I'm really not looking for answers here, I'm just looking for sleep. As exhausted as I've been this week, I've still made it through every single day just fine. I haven't fallen asleep at my desk or while running the embroidery machines, so that a positive thing.
I have however looked exhausted all week. You would think that waking up 4 hours early for work would mean I would take the time to do something to my hair besides pulling it up in a ponytail, and maybe put some makeup on my face so I don't look dead. But no, because I felt tired while getting ready for work the first two mornings I didn't do either of those things. Monday and Tuesday were not my best days. Today I decided to get out of that habit, get dressed, and look presentable. I feel so much better already!

So as I was laying in bed this morning trying to trick myself into falling back to sleep I was thinking about some experiences I had in Uganda. See, I am actually pretty good at thinking through situations and turning them into dreams as I drift off, not allowing my mind to go crazy with other thoughts. One story in particular popped into my mind this morning and it makes me chuckle, so I thought I'd share it with you.

I was sitting on the couch in my apartment, my roommate was in the kitchen cooking something, and I was working on getting some grading done. Like 99% of the days in Uganda the sun was bright and the air was hot. The windows and doors were all swung open, no screens, just a little breeze blowing through the apartment to keep us from sweating profusely. The sounds of the children across the orange dirt path playing with an empty bottle or something similar filled the air. Their laughter always making me giggle and wonder what is so funny.

I could hear the guard of our compound walking around, sweeping, hanging out. As our guard, Joseph worked 24/7 to make sure our compound was a safe place. He answered when someone would come to the gate and then using hand gestures explain to us or our neighbors who was there and let us decide if we were ok with them coming in the compound. We trusted him to ensure our safety when we were at home. And he did, for the most part...
Until one day he came to our door to tell me that there was someone outside the gate asking for me. Me? Most people I know would text me when they were coming and I would meet them and let them in myself. It was strange to not know who might be calling. So I put my grading down, found some flip flops and ducked through the small door on our gate.

Before I go on I have to say that it is not advised advertise to people where you live due to safety. If the wrong person finds out, it doesn't usually end well, meaning a possible robbery. It's not as though you can't trust anyone, though. It's just you have to be smart. There were plenty of people I trusted and they knew where I lived. Moving on...

To my surprise, a guy from a church I had been attending was standing there, eyes bright, smiling. I must have looked shocked because he began apologizing rather quickly for just showing up unannounced. After some cordial greetings I politely asked him why he was there. Now, I knew in the back of my mind that this was coming. He had been asking around for my number and trying to get info from other people. Apparently when my guard was out on an errand he somehow mentioned where I lived, and I can only assume it was because my suitor was asking around.

So there I was, standing outside my compound with a man that I had repeatedly declined to date, not sure what to say. So I asked him how he knew where I lived. He explained that my guard had offered up the information freely. (I immediately made a mental note to speak with the guy in charge of our guards.) He then went on to tell me he was disappointed that we hadn't been spending time together, that he tried to get me to go out with him, and he was hurt because now even other people had asked him to back off. He simply wanted a minute alone with me to tell me how he felt. Without any encouragement from me, he went on to confess that he loved me and thought that we could have a really good life together. He explained that he was getting ready to go home for the holidays and he had to tell me how he felt before he left. I was invited to join him and meet his family. He noticed the purity ring on my left ring finger and looked saddened. He then asked if I was already married, but living without my husband. My mind was racing, trying to think of a way to gently tell him that I wasn't interested. I told him no, that I wasn't married. So then he straight up asked me if I would marry him. As I stood there, frozen I thought how can I be compassionate and not break his heart? The last thing I wanted to do was to lead him on and let him think that there might be a chance. (I simply wasn't interested and we had only really spoken a few times in church when I was surrounded by others.) So I told him that my heart was with someone back in the States and I couldn't think about being with anyone else. I hoped that in the truth of that statement he would understand that that meant I was not interested in pursuing a relationship with him. He said he understood and just wanted me to remember that he loved me. I told him I appreciated his honesty and wished him well on his holiday.

As I climbed back through the gate feeling sad for him and angry at my guard, my roommate was on the front porch, questions written all over her face. I explained everything that happened, we talked with the mission about our guard giving up our info, and that was that.

It's so interesting to me... I can recall every detail from that moment. I can remember the smells hanging in the air. I can visualize the kids playing in the yard across the way, hear the people chatting as they passed by. What we did the rest of the day, who knows? Probably went out to dinner, hung with some MKs. Maybe we went to the pool or something. I do know that this moment stands out to me because of the feeling behind it. He "knew" that he loved me, he made himself vulnerable, and he went for it. I could use that kind of courage sometimes.
I could also use some sleep... and less crazy dreams. Psalm 127:2 (end of verse 2) says, "for he grants sleep to those He loves." Ok, might be out of context, but I'm praying for sleep tonight!

vivid dreams

I've been awake since 4am for no particular reason. Right before I woke up I was having a very vivid dream about being back in Uganda. Of course I've been thinking about what life will be like when I get back... I've even purchased a few items that I will need to have when I get there. It's becoming so very real to me right now. In my dream this morning I had just arrived in Kampala with two suitcases, but no guitar (which is strange). I then started looking for stuff that I should have had with me, but couldn't find anything that I needed. I was trying to hide my panic from Jean, my roommate as we caught up and talked about all that's been going on since I left last year. It was so exciting to see her, but that underlying panic would not cease. Somehow by the end of the dream I found out that I was just there for a two week visit before I came for the whole year. It was a recon trip of sorts.
Still, when I awoke and finally remembered the dream that same type of panic stayed with me. I started going over stuff in my head that I feel it is important to have with me. I started to think about all of the things I should be doing and even when I tried to push away the anxiety by distracted myself with a dvd, I couldn't find rest. It was completely quiet in the house, peaceful despite the unrest I was feeling. So I found myself before God in the early hours of the morning, a little annoyed that I wasn't sleeping, and even more annoyed at the silly anxiety over something that is still two and a half months away. I honestly don't even remember much of what I talked over with God this morning, but I do know that I found rest in His presence. I should be falling asleep on my desk right now; instead I feel great! I feel refreshed and energized... maybe I'll stop using this staph infection as an excuse and go for a run after work. :)
So anyways, I just sent out my last prayer letter with a prayer magnet before I'm off in January. Hopefully you've received your copy and if you haven't please let me know and I'd be happy to send one. This is a copy of the letter...


Dear Faithful Supporters,
As the date of my departure draws closer, I find myself consumed with thoughts of Africa and the ministries I’m involved in both near and far. A nervous excitement runs through me whenever I think about the many opportunities that are before me. In just a few months I will be back in Uganda, getting reacquainted with life and the culture there, visiting old friends, and rejoicing with new ones.
I would like to invite you to join me in praying for the ministry I’ve been given and for my time away. As my supporters, you all are an extremely important part of the time I spend in Africa ministering to the people there. In fact, it’s because of your support and prayers that I’m able to go.
Matthew 28:18-20 says, “18Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
In this passage Jesus is not just suggesting that we go and make disciples of all nations, this is a command. You answered the call into missions when you decided to join my support team. Thank you for being faithful and for saying yes to Jesus.
Here is a list things I would love for you to pray for:
· Health and safety
· Travel (both to and from the U.S. and as I travel to different countries within East Africa)
· Ministry on Buvuma Island with the orphans
· Discipleship ministry at Kampala International University
· Sponsorship programs with Pastors and Youth Pastors/ Africa Gospel Churches
· World Gospel Mission
· Provision of financial support (I am 85% funded!!)
As I go, I am resting in the promises found in John chapter 15. Jesus says, “Remain in me, and I will remain in you.” This is such an awesome promise to keep close to our hearts as we strive daily to serve the Lord. This is my prayer for you today and always.
Thank you again for all the love, support, and prayers. As always, I encourage you to let me know how I can be praying for you.

Serving Christ with you,

Christina Maddalone

Memories for the future

As I'm getting closer to my departure date for Uganda I'm finding myself easily distracted by thoughts of goodbyes. This wasn't really something I had time for last time, so it's all rather new to me. There are days when I am so excited at the prospect of being back in Africa that I can hardly contain myself; there are other days when thoughts of who and what I'm leaving behind sneak up on me. There's the occasional thoughts of people moving on without me and of too much change. Most times I can think past those sad thoughts because of one particular memory of my return last year.
I stepped off the plane, anxious to see my friends and family and frustrated that we were all in the same building, but because I was coming from Africa I had more hoops to jump through than most departing the airport. I was ready to jump up and down and give big hugs, not talk about what might be in my bags or guitar case. So as I'm waiting for customs to clear my luggage and I remember thinking about having to wait until morning to see my nieces and how bummed I was to wait another twelve hours to hug them. I left for Uganda when Kayla was 3 and half and Alexandria was merely 15 months, so I was uncertain of how they would receive me. Kayla would talk with me one the phone and skype pretty often, but it was difficult to get Alex to sit still enough to chat. My sister requested that I not wake them up when I get home because I'd be getting home at 11 and they're a pain to put back down. When I got home I simply couldn't wait!! I decided to wake Kayla up, very gently so as not to get her too excited to go back to sleep. She was excited, but completely exhausted and went right back to sleep. I went in Alex's room just to look at her and decided not to wake her because if she didn't recognize me, I didn't want to scare her. So I kissed her and went to bed. Even though I hadn't slept for 36 hours and was emotionally drained, I didn't sleep well that first night. So when Alex woke up, I heard her downstairs playing and just had to go down and see her. I quietly went downstairs and sat on the bottom step. She was in the kitchen with my mom just chatting away. She heard me sit down and turned to look at who else was up at 6:30 in the morning and saw me. Her entire face lit up and she looked at my mom and said, "Nana!! My TT here!!" Then she ran to me and gave me a huge hug. It's one of the sweetest moments of my life. I don't think I can think of another memory when someone was more genuinely excited to see me. I had been so nervous that she wouldn't even remember me and there she was running into my arms. So sweet!!
It's memories like that that assure me that when I leave, even though it's a time of sadness, the rejoicing of the return is sure to come. I'm sad to leave my family. I'm sad to leave my youth kids both here in Naperville and down in Indy. I'm sad to leave my friends and all the new babies that are around. BUT when I get home in a year, life will continue and all will be just fine.
It was on my drive home from Indiana this morning when I was thinking about these things. I went to Indy simply because I had a three day weekend and wanted to be able to relax. And I did. I got plenty of good sleep, got to hang out with Trent, and spend time the awesome peeps at New Hope Pres. All in all, a good weekend. In the 3 days that I was there I think I made the drive to the church at least once each day.
Now, Indianapolis isn't what i think of when I think of pretty autumn colors. (I actually think of places like Michigan, where I was last weekend. So beautiful!) However the drive to and from New Hope is gorgeous this time of year. Unlike here in the Chicago suburbs, there are actually a few rolling hills in Indy. They are beautiful this time of year, splashed with fiery oranges and yellows, vivid reds, and earthy browns. It's really an amazing sight to take in. I love Autumn, but am not a fan of winter (at least not 6 months of winter). This year I only have to endure a couple months of it though. :) Anyways the beauty of the scenic drive with the worship music playing over the radio was incredibly peaceful for me. Life has been crazy busy and I'm always on the go (mainly by choice), but in quiet of my car each day I found rest in the Lord. Then last night we were bored so I went to get a movie and decided to drive the same way, down the same roads even though the night would surely be hiding the beauty of the day. Yet in the bright moonlight I got little glimpses of what the day had already revealed. The colors were muted, not nearly as vivid, yet somehow in the quiet of the night (it wasn't late, but everyone was in watching the ridiculous Indy football team), remembering the beauty of the day, I again found rest and peace on my short drives with God. I just love sweet intimate moments with my Creator and Savior. I'm so thankful today for moments like these. These are just some more of the memories that will carry me through and help me to hang onto the promises of God when I'm 8,000 miles away and missing everything about the Midwest.

Surgery Update and Personal Musings

I want to thank you all who have prayed for my dad this week with his surgery. He is a little sore, naturally, but he's doing well. Apparently he has to have another surgery a week from this Thursday on October, 7th. more prayers are welcome then. :) He has had so many surgeries in his life time, it's pretty ridiculous actually. He has a disease called Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome (RSDS), now sometimes to referred to as CRPS. This website gives a very brief overview of the disease. https://health.google.com/health/ref/Complex+regional+pain+syndrome Dad has always been in stage three and there's really no way of turning it around. He's in pain constantly. The reason for his recent surgery was to have the spinal cord stimulator in his back replaced. He has two of these devices in his body and they help to control some of the pain. The old units had batteries that only last for up to five years. He had a new unit put in on Thursday with a battery life of up to nine years. Hopefully it will last that long. However, the lead that connects to his spinal cord is not functioning now, so he will go back on for another surgery to replace that lead. Realistically it could have been done this past week, but doctors know best right? Actually if you couldn't detect my sarcasm, I'm pretty frustrated with the whole situation. It is a bit excessive for a 61 year old man to have to have this many major surgeries (5 in a year). The anesthetic cannot be good for you that frequently. Anyway, that's the update on my dad... thanks for the prayers.

Something else I wanted to do today was write out some things that have been floating around my head lately. This will be many disjointed thoughts, not necessarily related at all to each other, some maybe selfish, but they're honest. Mostly this is stuff you might know already. Read at your own risk.

I want to get married soon enough for my daddy to be able to WALK me down the aisle. All the surgeries are not encouraging me to believe that will ever happen. It's not his fault and I'm not sure that he would care whether I got married in a church or a courthouse.
I'm not sure I want to have some big lavish wedding. I think a backyard barbecue would be just as much, if not more fun than a huge fancy reception. I have a feeling I won't want to be dressed up all day.
A wedding is not about a party at all... it's really about celebrating a marriage... and praising God. I want to worship at my wedding... maybe I'll play some guitar.
I would rather be outside doing something, even if it's nothing exciting, than sitting inside staring at the tv.
I really like tv some days, but often feel like I've wasted time when I watch for too long. It's a catch 22 for me.
I'm not good at time management, or as good as I would like to be.
I love to rest, but when I'm not busy I'm bored. I will complain about how tired I am, but then opt not to sleep in order to do something else.
I'm not good at taking naps, but I kind of want to be better.
I love the beach... like really love the beach, but wandering through the forrest/mountains is an adventure I would take any day.
I love to hike, but I'm clumsy so it's funny for whoever is with me.
I don't like to sweat, but I sweat all the time... a trait inherited from my dad. Sweaty hands are gross and embarrassing. Oh well, it is what it is.
My college degree is finally being used and I'm just realizing how grateful I am to be good at communicating with people. The skills that I learned have enabled me to have some really cool relationships with youth.
I love speaking to large groups, but often don't prepare. When I prepare I get nervous thinking that I will forget something.
I love being a mentor.
I tend to trust people from the start, but if it's broken, good luck repairing it. I should work on that.
Some of my best friends are in high school/college right now and I'm ok with that.
God has given me this ability to love people implicitly, and sometimes obviously. I would not change it for the world. My compassion keeps me busy.
I want to use the abilities I've been given to love others deeply, as Christ loves them. I love having a ministry that spans continents.
I am a people pleaser, who often seeks the approval of others. Yet, some times I don't care what other people think because I can be pretty hard headed.
I can talk my way out of things pretty well, something I learned from my sister (who probably has never paid a late fee, or a ticket she didn't deserve in her life.)
I am blunt and will be honest, but also careful with feelings. If you ask me what I think or how I feel I'll probably tell you straight up.
I am more self-conscience than I would like... I wish I was better at eating healthy and exercising. I need to lose weight. Will I be happier then?
I absolutely adore babies... especially tiny newborn babies. I have lots of experience with them and I'm good at caring for them and loving on them. I'm going to be a good mom, not too much of a freak, first time mom. I don't want kids any time soon though. As much as I love them, I have no desire to have my own for a long time. I just really love being around all these babies again. I wish my sister would have another one... a boy. :)
I love spending time with my nieces. 3 and a half and almost 6 years old... they are so cute. So naughty sometimes!
My youth kids are amazing... from both WSC and NHPC. I wish I could split myself in half so I could be with both groups all the time. Thank God for effective ministry.
Going back to Africa is something I've wanted to do since the day I set foot back in America. Now I'm getting sad as the time draws nearer for me to leave again. I've had too much time to think about leaving this time. God is sovereign and His timing is perfect. Apparently I wasn't ready to go when I wanted to, so I'll go when He sees fit.
God is my all, my everything even though I don't always turn to Him before I turn to others. I feel weak every time I try to do stuff on my own. It's sometimes easier to give a friend a call when I have a need, but ultimately until I bring it before the Lord I can't be peaceful.
I struggle to live with my family and don't tell them I love them enough. The truth is that I love them more than words can say. My brother is awesome and could do anything he wants in life, but he's held back by himself and his addictions. He should be playing major league baseball, but that time has passed him by. Sometimes I fear for his life. Leaving for Africa becomes harder when I think about him.
I think I'll always have at least one pet. I hate cats and will hopefully never own one. I love dogs... I don't love when I move to Uganda and my family gives my dog away. I love having a turtle.
As much as I love all things music, I'm mediocre at best and have to work hard to be mediocre. I have no confidence in my vocals or my ability to play the guitar and sometimes am too embarrassed to play/sing in front of others. When I'm doing it for the Lord though, it's all about Him and not how I sound. Thankfully. I should have stuck with my music major. I was good at music theory.
I like to read, but am guilty of picking a series that I really like and reading and rereading the same books over and over. I've read nothing but Harry Potter and Twilight for the past year. I need to work on being that excited to read my bible, and not so cocky thinking that I know it all.
Mighty Ducks 2 and Sandlot might be two of my all time favorite movies.
I love sports. The Cubs will always be my team no matter how many years it is before they win again. Da Bears have the ability to make me scream at the tv... obviously I could run the plays more effectively! :) I'll always be a fan of Chicago sports (minus that team from the south side) and I think I'll always despise Green Bay and the Colts.
I used to avoid the sun so as not to appear to be anything but Italian and now I love the brown-ness of my skin. My dad had skin cancer... I should be more careful than I am.
When I see pain in someone's life I try to fix it... unsolicited mostly. I think everyone deserves to be loved and to understand that they deserve to be loved.
I have only truly loved one guy. I've been "in love" with a few guys. There's a huge difference.
Purity is something I cherish and will preach it until I die. What a gift to give your future husband or wife. It didn't used to be such a rare gift. The consequences are beyond what you may think.
I love the city, but would rather live in the country where I can have a yard to play in.
Africa has forever changed my life. Uganda is beautiful. I can't wait to spend more time in Kenya and Sudan. I love being called to missions right now, despite the sadness of leaving. I want to walk the orange dirt roads today and hear a boda man call out, "Hey Mzungu!!"
I want to experience other cultures too. Being fluent in Spanish, Italian, and Swahili, and Arabic would be awesome. I want to learn languages. Russia presents a challenge to me because it's hard to get into and the language seems impossible. We'll see. I am willing to go anywhere and serve, including here in America.
I sometimes go on rants, but most of the time I write them out in email form and refrain from clicking send because when I read them a week later, it's not that big of a deal.
Writing out my true feelings is easier for me that speaking them because I tend to forget everything I want to say or express.
I love to write. I can knock out a good 10 pager in a few hours of focused time and do well on it.
I've been told that my 7 tattoos make me look trashy, which makes me kinda sad, but I understand it. I definitely regret the placement of some of them. I regret getting two altogether. It's too expensive to have them removed and not worth the scarring.
With all the surgeries I've had to have over my life, I should be set as an adult. I don't have an appendix, tonsils, or a gall bladder. I've had foot surgery, ear tubes more times than I can remember (hence the difficulty I have with hearing), and have had my wisdom teeth removed. Anesthesia makes me totally goofy. Any time I've gotten vicodin for the pain after surgery I've made a fool of myself. I'm a lightweight when it comes to that stuff I guess.
I hate money. I don't like having it, I don't like having to deal with it. I know I"ll never have a lot and I'm actually thankful for that. It runs the world and ruins lives, but somehow it's a necessity. I can manage a budget with ease, but would rather not need to.
I went to bed at 4:00 this morning and got up at 9... so I'm gonna go practice that whole nap taking thing.

Adventures with Rubies and Dirt Bikes

August ended with a mixture of emotions as I had to say goodbye to some of the youth kids who have now gone off to college. Over the past year some really cool relationships have been built with these kids, so of course it was sad to watch them leave. On the other hand I'm really excited for all of them as they start this new part of their lives.
Ruby Elyse Freeman was born on August 31st at 10:06 pm. She is absolutely precious and I just love her so much. She has such a sweet spirit, very much like her mama. It was evident from the first time that I held her, only hours old, that Ruby is going to be a strong, beautiful woman. Both Carley and baby are doing really well as they adjust to life together. Matt is a very proud daddy and its fun to watch them interact. You can already tell that she just adores Carley and Matt. Here I am with her, she's two and half weeks old in this pic.
It's been so much fun to hang out with Ruby during the last couple of weeks. Babies do some very funny stuff that they don't even realize is funny. I know she doesn't have control over her expression yet, but in this picture she's showing one of her already famous facial expressions... the "o". So cute!!!

September has proved to be just as busy as the rest of my summer has been, but mostly this busyness has been my choice. I've recently decided that I want to get my motorcycle license. Not for any reason in particular, really just because it's fun. So in order to work up to that, one of my youth kids offered to let me try it out on one of his dirt bikes. So one Sunday afternoon, a crowd of youth kids gathered to watch me attempt to ride a dirt bike in the church parking lot. Of course I was really excited... and then I saw the crowd. As my nerves took over I knew there was no way to back out of it and live it down so I got on the bike, received a brief tutorial, and took off. After stalling twice, I wheelied and was off around the parking lot. I only rode for maybe 20 or 30 minutes that day, but in that short time it seemed like every pastor and other prominent member of the church passed through the parking lot. All in all it was a success and I didn't wipe out once... until the next weekend.
Tom and Ian Howard (father and son, owners of the bikes) invited me to go out to the trails with them and practice some more on the bike. They assured me that I wouldn't be slowing them down and that they had brought many newbies with them, so I quickly agreed to go. The 45 minute drive south to Marseilles, IL where the Cliffs Insane Terrain (www.thecliffsinsaneterrain.com) is located should have been a peaceful drive through the country. Instead, I could only focus on not throwing up because I was so nervous that I was going to be the one person who they take out that gets seriously injured. I mean, then name "Insane Terrain" doesn't have a comforting ring to it. We arrived around the same time and I watched as they unloaded the 3 dirt bikes. The parking lot was full of different off-road vehicles, from dirt bikes and ATVs, to dune buggies and tricked-out mud covered Jeeps. Some of these Jeeps had tires that were nearly as tall as I am. So sweet! Anyway, as I was watching these awesome vehicles climb the Hill that leads to the trails I thought, "there's absolutely no way that I'm going to be able to get the dirt bike up that gravel and rut covered hill."
We went up to the office, paid, signed waivers, and got our bracelets. Tom gassed the bikes up and we were ready to go. Well, they were. I felt sick. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was going to die. Well obviously I didn't die, but half way up the first hill I ended up in the trees. After a few rounds on the motocross track and lots of wipe outs, we went to a flat area for me to practice the basics. So I practiced shifting gears, using the foot brake, and not stalling because I tend to drop the clutch. After we practiced for a while, Tom convinced me to ride my bike down the hill back to the parking lot for some lunch. Getting down the hill was easier than I thought it would be, riding first gear and tapping the back brake. We got some lunch and then ventured back up the dreaded hill to the flat area where we had spent the morning. I made it up the hill without any problems this time, much more in control of the bike than I had been in the morning. I practiced shifting gears for a little while longer and then we (they) decided it was time to hit the trails. Judging by the amount of mud coming off Ian and Tom as they traded off watching me practice and exploring trails, I knew I was in for a slippery ride.
Leaving the flat (safe) area, around the first turn was a huge mud pit with standing water. The ruts from the Jeeps and ATVs were deep. I watched Tom and Ian successfully fly through the mud, keeping their feet out for balance. I froze. In my mind I decided that I was just going to head back down to the parking lot. There was no way I could have enough control of the bike, focus on the clutch, throttle, and brake and still make it through standing up. I had already taken my fair share of spills too... flown over the handle bars, bike falling on me as a rut stole my balance, ending up in the trees and bushes because I panicked and gave it too much gas. If I went out on the muddy trails I would surely die. Well Tom rode back over to where I stood frozen on my bike, and somehow convinced me to follow him, showing me exactly how to do it again. I reluctantly followed and successfully made it through that first mud pit without a fall. Can I just say that that was the easy part?!
The trails proved to be riddled with large rocks, trees branches, creeks, ruts, jumps, and other ridiculous obstacles. Through all that I took it slow, only wiping out once and having Tom take my bike down a hill he knew would be too challenging. I inadvertently took a jump that came out of no where and landed it. I have never felt my adrenaline course through my veins as much as I did that day. There were times when my heart was racing, my palms were sweaty (thankful for gloves!), and I was panicking, but I decided to keep going. After making it through that we reconvened in the parking lot and I suggested that the boys go out without me so they didn't have to go slow anymore. They explored for another 20 minutes or so and then we packed up. At the end of it all, I was still smiling, so it couldn't have been that bad, right?
After I got home and showered all the mud off of me, I assessed the damages. Lots of large bruises, but nothing horrible until the next day. It was a challenge to lift my arms... it felt like I had spent a day at the gym pumping some serious iron. It's been two and half weeks since we were on the trails and the bruising is almost completely gone now. At first I decided I would never go again, but today it doesn't sound so bad. :)
The next weekend I decided to go up to East Lansing to Michigan State to visit with some of the youth kids. 4 of my girls go to college within an hour of each other so the other 3 made their way to MSU for a visit. I brought Jacob (another college freshman) with me since he's going to school locally and it was nice to have a friend with me in the car to keep me entertained. We had a fun filled weekend of eating food, walking around campus, eating more food, walking more, eating ice cream, and walking some more. It was really just a sweet time with kids that I love dearly. I enjoyed getting to see where Jodi is these days and how life at a state school works. The campus is absolutely beautiful. We had a blast simply being together. The Lord has really opened doors and enabled me to be someone that these kids really trust and depend on. It's a total blessing to have such awesome relationships with them. I think it was a nice break for all of them too. Nice for Jacob to get out of Naperville, for Jodi to have familiar faces, and for KP, Morgan, and Alex to get away from school for a while. Praise the Lord for good friends.

I am still in the process of figuring out what's next for me here in America. I have some really tough choices to make for the next few months, but I know I'm ready for a change. I've been looking for jobs and housing in Indy, so that's a good possibility. Please join me in praying for clarity and the right decisions for both me and the kids I minister to. Also please pray for my dad as he's scheduled to undergo major surgery this Thursday if he's healthy enough. I'm hoping to post again soon after his surgery to update you all on how it went. Thanks ahead of time for the prayer.
I am still planning on a January departure back to Uganda. Please continue to lift up the ministries there. Pray for the people and their hearts. Rest in the promises of Pslam 37 today. Thanks friends!

Delayed, but blessed

Now that August is almost over and September is on the horizon I think it's time to fill you all in on what's been happening in my world.

The youth mission trip with Wheatland Salem went really well. I had the amazing opportunity to get to know some really awesome kids and adults leaders even better than I could have imagined. The worksite that I was placed on was a ton of fun and the resident that we worked for was a major blessing. She was about 80 years old and had some very heart breaking, yet hopeful stories of living in Birmingham during the Civil Rights movement. I can't begin to describe all of the things that she saw and experienced during that time, but it definitely became more real for me that week. She stood very firm on Psalm 23 and the Lord being her shepherd, and that's what has carried her this far. I was the site devo leader so each day I would read some scripture and then talk it through, but when I would finish, Ms. Willie would give her take on things. The wisdom of the elderly is a great thing.
Other than the worksite, there was a ton of time to fellowship with the kids. We got to hang out a bunch and just enjoy each other. They are a very fun group of kids and I count myself lucky to have been able to spend so much time with them. The Lord really moved in the hearts of some and it was very cool to see some changes being made.
One of my favorite parts of the week was the driving. I had all seniors in my van and I've been helping to lead the senior small group at sunday school, so it was pretty sweet for me to hang out with those kids before they all leave me and go to college.

Anyways, since being home from B-ham I've been kept pretty busy with work and hanging out with the youth and friends. My good friend Laura had her baby and I was able to go visit him the week after he was born. He's just perfect! So sweet. I love being able to see Laura and Tripp as parents... they are fantastic and I love them so much. Here I am with David Grant IV
Every weekend has been full of fun times. Some of the youth came out to my house one Sunday afternoon and we drove out to Starved Rock for some hiking. We had a blast exploring, deer whispering, hiking down into canyons, and playing in caves. My best friend from college, Ashley came in one weekend and we had a good time catching up, seeing movies, and just being lazy. I always love the time I get to spent with her... and it was also cool to have her come to church with me because it's such a huge part of my life. The youth kids also decided to drive out one day during the week last week, so we went fishing at Silver Springs right on the Fox river by my house. It was so fun to just hang out and love on them before school starts and gets in the way of fun times. We played a little frisbee, did some hiking, tried to catch guppies with our hands, played with the remote control boat they brought, and then hung out at my house. I'm so honored to be someone that the kids really enjoy spending time with. The Lord has really opened up doors for good relationships, mentoring, and opportunities to share His love. What a blessing!

This past weekend was the youth kick off at New Hope Presbyterian. So I took two of the girls from my youth group (Jodi and Morgan) down to hang out with me and Trent and his youth. The girls had been asking me if they could come to Indy with me and it was the perfect weekend for it. The drive was so much more fun with the girls with me plus we had a blast hanging out with Trent. We helped make a slime pit and then got to play in it. We organized and played "Ultimate What" which is basically ultimate frisbee with random objects in place of the frisbee... like eggs, watermelon, a sack of flour. Really anything to get the kids messy is fun! There was also a bonfire for hot dogs and s'mores. So much fun!
Beyond the silliness of hanging with the youth I had the opportunity to mentor one of Trent's youth kids that I've built a good relationship with. God has opened up a huge door there and I love that I get to be a part of it. I also got to meet and have coffee with one of the other adult leaders who had come on the mission trip with us back in July, Jill. She is an amazingly fun, strong woman who I just love! She has quickly become one of my favorite people ever.



On a different note, my trip to Uganda has been delayed until January. The missionaries that I will be working directly with are not going to be back in Uganda until then, so for now I'm State-side for a while. I've gone through a variety of emotions since hearing that I'm delayed, but in seeking the Lord I've found a peace about the timing. God is sovereign and His timing is perfect. So for now I get to be around. I'm not sure what the next 5 or so months look like, but I know that the ministry I've been given will continue to grow and I'm very excited about having extra time with the people I love before I leave again.
My best friend, Carley is due to have her first baby this Friday and I am really excited that I'll get to hang out with baby girl for a while before I head off again. I'm so thrilled for another baby girl to love on and spoil... being an aunt is so much fun!!
I'm currently looking into housing options and a possible job change, so I'd really appreciate prayer on that. Would you also pray for patience and a continued peace about being delayed and timing? Thank you for sticking with me as my journey continues. I appreciate all of the prayers, love, and support you've shown over the past few years. Please don't hesitate to send prayer requests to my email! Much love!

May to July, time flies!

A lot happens in two months. I honestly don't even know where to begin. May ended with lots of time spent with lots of awesome people. My BFFs were all in town for a baby shower and we had some really sweet times of catching up. This was the first time we've all been together in 3 years. I spent Memorial Day in Indy with my friend Trent and his youth... we went to a bunch of grad parties for the seniors. It was fun to visit with all of them.

June brought on the start of my crazy summer. The trip to Haiti went off without a hitch. Those of you who read my email updates know that stepping off the plane was like stepping home for me. It was all somehow very familiar because I was reminded instantly of Africa. From the sights to the smells to the beautiful faces, I felt right at home. My time there was heartbreaking for obvious reasons, but more than that it was encouraging. The people of Haiti have hope, a deep seeded hope that they refuse to ignore. We got to minister to a few different groups of people and ministries and we also had the opportunity to visit the area where the heart of the damage still sits. Though the country was devastated they are working to move forward.

I got home from Haiti on Saturday and left on the following Wednesday for the 100 year anniversary Celebration of World Gospel Mission in Indiana. Throughout the week about 1,000 guests graced the campus of my Alma Mater, Indiana Wesleyan University, to enjoy fellowship and to hear updates on the mission and all of the fields that it serves. It was beautiful to see so many of God's missionaries in one place at the same time to worship Jesus and honor the work He has done through WGM in the past 100 years. People from all over the world were able to obtain visas and come share their stories and experiences. It was very cool to hear their testimonies about their lives being forever changed because someone said "yes" to the call God placed on their life. Mugisha Emmy is a pastor that was trained through WGM missionaries in Uganda. He now works with the missionaries there to train pastors and youth pastors. Mugisha experienced his first flight and first trip out of Africa to come to Celebration. It was a delight to hear his perspective on America and to talk through some of his first thoughts. Can you imagine having never been to a Walmart before? What in the world would you be thinking, not knowing something like that even existed? Kind of crazy to think about, right?

Being in Indiana for Celebration meant spending time with the awesome people from Trent's church again. I've enjoyed being able to spend so much time with them. I got to see some fireworks with Trent and some of the youth a week early for their local festival. Very fun!

For the 4th I was here in Illinois. My sister, bro-in-law, and nieces were gone on vacation and for the first time in what seemed like forever, I had nothing I had to do and nowhere I HAD to be. It was fantastic. I literally slept all day that Saturday, only waking to eat some lunch, read a bit, and lay in the sun. It was awesome. I was also very blessed to be able to spend time with my some of my best friends at a pool all day one day and watching fireworks with some of my youth kids. All in all, one of the best 4th of July weekends ever! :)

A few days after the 4th I left home yet again to head to Indy. I had a meeting scheduled with the missions committee at Trent's church (New Hope Pres) on the 8th that happened to get cancelled. It worked out just fine though because I would have been down there the next day to prepare to leave on the youth mission trip with Trent. We left Saturday morning and headed to New York where we spent the week doing various ministries in the Adirondack mountains with YouthWorks. There were 6 of us leaders and 24 youth. Some of the youth were kids that I didn't know very well if at all, so it was pretty cool to get to know some new faces. Also some came on the trip who aren't a part of the church at all which opened up doors for some great convos and times of teaching. Even though it was a fantastic trip and I was very blessed to have the chance to go with Trent and the kids, it was a little bittersweet for me. Don't get me wrong, I loved every minute of it and was reminded SO often of why I love hanging out and ministering to youth, but I was a little sad thinking about leaving for Uganda. I spent a week building up some really awesome relationships with the kids and other leaders, only to turn around and leave. Of course I'm stoked to get back to Uganda, but it doesn't make leaving any easier.


I still don't have a definitive departure date, so I know I'll get to see the kids again... I just wish I got to spend time with them more often. It's a hard thing to be a part of a youth group that I don't get to spend a ton of time with. I love the kids from New Hope so much that I wish I could be there all the time. BUT I love the kids from Wheatland Salem so much too and love seeing them all the time! Darn, listen to me whine about the ways that God is moving! :) I really am super thankful to belong to two awesome groups of kids.

So after just getting home from Indy last night, I'll work this week and then leave Saturday morning to do it all over again with the youth from WSC. Our youth mission trip is to Birmingham, Alabama and we're going through Group Work Camps. The theme is Undeserved and I'm pretty excited to hear some good preaching along those lines. We're printing the t-shirts at my job and they look pretty sweet! It'll be really sweet to spend time with my kids, especially the ones getting ready to go off to college. The Lord has really enabled me to build some strong relationships with the kids and I love them so much! Yay for youth ministry!!

When I get back from B-ham, I'm sure I'll find some time to update on how the trip goes. I jump right into a busy month of August... with baby showers, 2 new babies, youth leaving for college, visiting friends in Ohio (hopefully!!), time with youth in Indy, on top of getting myself ready to leave and raising support. I would like to say some rest would be nice, but what fun would that be?

Beyond all of those things, I'm sure many of you have heard about the bombings in Uganda. They happened during the World Cup game on Sunday and it's completely heartbreaking to hear about. Everyone that I know well is safe, but many people lost their lives and I happen to know families of those who were lost. Please be praying for Kampala. One of the restaurants that was bombed, Ethiopian Village was owned by a family whose children attend Heritage (the school where I taught). It is frequented by the Acker family, but thankfully they were at home when it happened. It hits really close to home when you've been there... I mean, we picked up food from there one day and brought it to a visit day for one of the Sudanese guys at boarding school. Pray for peace and pray for justice. God is sovereign. Thanks friends!

Coming soon

I know it's been a long time since I've posted... almost 2 months. I planned on getting something posted this week, but didn't manage my time as I could have thus, no new post. I am getting ready to leave on the first youth mission trip to New York with Trent and his youth. I'm really hoping to get something up between this trip and the next youth mission trip with WSC. Check back soon for updates! :)

A Familiar Tune

What? 2 in one week?? That's right, get excited! This one should be fairly short though... I just had a thought as I was driving home last night. I've been listening to the newest Selah cd a lot... they're a fantastic Christian group with absolutely beautiful harmonies behind their strong melodies. Anyways the title of my last post "Standing on the Promises of God" is an old hymn and Selah's version is just awesome. Well just the statement "standing on the promises of God" has been a great reminder to me lately as I find myself frustrated with different things in my day to day. But the other night I went to the finale concert at Neuqua Valley High School (my Alma Mater) with one of my youth kids to see some of the other youth kids who were performing. I love going back and hearing how amazing the choirs sound... the directors do a fabulous job. The entire music department at NVHS is recognized as a top school in the nation. Check out their website www.neuquamusic.org and see all of their accomplishments, including Grammy awards.

Each year at the finale concert the graduating seniors are recognized and asked to step forward. Their names are read, the senior achievement award is given to one outstanding senior, and then the rest of the choir and any alumni in the audience are asked to stand and sing the Alma Mater to the seniors. It's a special time for the seniors and their families. I went to the concert knowing that I would stand and sing the Alma Mater, but stressed because I couldn't remember all the words or what the melody even sounded like. So as I stood up I was a little panicked, but as soon as we started singing everything just flowed. The words came back, the melody was strong against the harmony I was singing. Of course I wasn't sitting near anyone else who would have stood up (the student I was with didn't know the song) so I was kind of on my own in my section. The sound resonating around the auditorium was beautiful. I thoroughly enjoyed singing the alto part that was still so familiar (even though I thought it wasn't) to me while listening to the other parts blend together as smoothly as silk.

It was all very anticlimactic... something that I was actually nervous about turned out to be so easy. So as I drove home I began to think about how familiar the evening was. Sitting in the audience is of course different than performing, but it was so easy to know exactly what the students were thinking and feeling. I could pick out certain students and compare them with ones in my graduating class... almost 10 years ago, btw! I remembered so easily what it's like to prepare for the concert, to have to hurry and hang your robes up perfectly in order with the stole in place, on the correct hanger. Then you rush out to hang with your friends and family. Something that I haven't done in that place in almost 10 years came flooding back as though it happened yesterday. Now, if you had asked me what I remembered about the whole process prior to me attending the concert I would have struggled a bit... maybe given some vague thoughts about it, but I wouldn't have thought I could recall as much of the feeling and experience of the evening.

I feel like I do that same thing with God. No matter where I'm at in life or what is currently occupying my time, God is always so familiar and it sometimes catches me off guard. The things that I can recall, or that He recalls for me are so familiar. When I need to relate to someone on something that I haven't experienced in years, I can. To me, that's one of the most amazing parts of an ongoing personal relationship with Jesus. I spent countless hours in the music wing at Neuqua, but even still some of those memories fade because I'm not still there and involved. Because I choose to "stand on the promises of God", those things never change. God is constant so being familiar with Him gets easier the more time you put into a relationship with Him. I guess it's was just a good reminder.

Standing on the Promises of God

It's only been 2 weeks... not bad, right? To be honest the past few weeks have flown by. My wisdom teeth removal was not the worst experience ever, however the recovery has not been fun. My face wasn't bruised or horribly swollen which is a blessing though. So I was able to go down to Indy to get my guitar. I was also able to finally get my new tattoo which is pretty exciting! It's on my wrist and it says "Remain in Me" from John 15. I've been thinking about it for a long time... which is more than I can say for most of my other tattoos. I do have to say that this one hurt a LOT more than any of the other ones, probably enough to keep me from ever getting another one!

2 years ago I was in Panama City Beach, Florida on vacation. I decided to take my bible head down to the beach one evening during the sunset. I had decided prior to getting down to the beach that I would just pick a few Psalms to read so that I wasn't committed to a long time and could get back up to the room and hang out. Well after reading a few familiar Psalms I felt the Spirit prompting me to dig a little deeper. So I flipped to the New Testament, ready to hear something from Jesus. I ended up in John, which happens to be my favorite gospel to read. I thumbed through the pages and ended up stopping at chapter 15. Now, some of you may remember a little book by Bruce Wilkinson called "Secrets of the Vine." It was a very small, simple book written not too long ago that became a phenomenon for many people. It's based on John 15 and gaining a life of abundance through prayer. There is even a prayer given that you can pray to gain abundance. This book became so huge and main stream in my area during high school that people began to believe it as magic words to gain money and success. "Just pray these words and you'll be given everything you've ever wanted" was the theme that came out of it. I've read the book and I understand the author's purpose and people misconstrued his words, however I have been VERY turned off from John 15 because of how over done it was in my high school years. All of that to say that as I stopped on this very familiar passage of scripture I thought, "I haven't read this in a while, I guess it won't hurt to speed read over it."

First of all, how conceited of me to think I know everything about a passage and that God wouldn't have a new word for me! I think back on my attitude towards John 15 and I'm embarrassed because I know that there are other books that I've avoided because I've been convinced that I had them figured out, that I couldn't learn anything new from reading them. I've missed out on so much and I've limited God by ignoring parts of His word because of my own self-righteousness. That's a hard thing to admit, fo sho!

So anyways, before I began to read on that breezy April evening in Florida I prayed and asked God to speak loud and clear through His word. I was at a place of complacency in life and wanting answers as to what God wanted from me... where I was to go next, or how I was to be moving in my ministry. Well He answered loud and clear as I read and studied John chapter 15 that evening! It was then, on that beach that I received my call into missions. Through a time of intense studying and prayer, the Lord revealed that He is giving me the unique opportunity to go and serve where ever I'm needed... and at the time it was Uganda. He gave me the strong promise that if I remained in Him, abided in Him, He would remain in me. He called me to love others deeply, in a way that I'm not capable of without Him. He called me to go and build strong relationships, to use the communication skills that He's given me to further His Kingdom. I am getting ready to head back to Uganda for another year, (and while I don't think that I'm called to Africa for the rest of my life, rather whatever mission field can use me, maybe America... who knows?) and the most important thing for me to remember as I prepare to leave the people and places that I love is to remain in Him. To stand firmly on the promises of God. So, that's what this tattoo is about. I like it.

The rest of the weekend was just hangout time. Church Sunday, then lunch with an awesome family, a nap, and back to the church for a grad party/Eagle Scout ceremony. One of the senior boys at New Hope had asked me to come and I wasn't planning on being in town, but as you might recall I'm the smartest person ever and had to go back for my forgotten guitar, so it turned out to be a blessing. I left pretty early so that I could get home and have a minute to chill before heading back to work. Throughout the weekend my teeth didn't feel too bad. I ate soft food, didn't drink through a straw, and therefore didn't have to worry about taking any strong pain meds. The doc did put me on steroids, which I guess is normal to help with swelling. That was NOT fun for me. They caused me some major anxiety... so much so that on that first Saturday night, while I was in Indy I didn't sleep one minute. It was NOT fun. I was shaky and nervous. It was definitely my least favorite part of the wisdom teeth removal. Well at least until my stitches got pulled out on tuesday because I decided I was ok to eat a piece of beef jerky, which in effect pulled out the stitches, leaving a nerve nice and exposed. Gross, right? Yeah, well not just gross... incredibly painful! I don't normally take the pain meds that I'm prescribed after a surgery, but you better believe that last week I took vicodin on more than one occasion. Since I don't take that stuff often, it makes me loopy. I imagine that that's what it feels like to be drunk. I don't like it at all. A visit to the dentist confirmed the exposed nerve and since then I've been doing my best to keep my mouth clean so that it will heal because I'm pretty tired of having this nerve pain! My bad!

Over this past weekend we had a mission trip training day with the youth which was a blast. We laughed a whole lot while getting our work done. It was a great preview of what the mission trip will be like this summer. I had a couple of the senior girls over for a sleepover the night before because the training was way out by my house anyway and of course we had a blast! Love those girls!! I love the opportunities to minister to an awesome group of kids. As leaders, we're definitely blessed at Wheatland Salem. :) I can't wait to hang out with everyone again this wednesday night for youth group! This coming weekend we're having Alexandria's 3rd birthday party which will be a blast. She's too darn cute. I'm also leading worship for the confirmation service on Sunday. Then the next weekend all my bff's will be in town for Carley's baby shower!! I seriously cannot wait to spend time with them!! I haven't seen Stacy and Owen since July and Michelle since Christmas. The weekend after that I"ll be in Indianapolis for all of the fun graduation parties of the youth down there. Once again, time is flying. Before I know it I'll be in Haiti with WSC, then New York with NHPC, then Birmingham with WSC, then it'll be August and time to start packing for Uganda.

Please be praying as all of this exciting stuff is coming up. Pray for times of rest in the midst of the insanity. Pray also for Uganda, World Gospel Mission, Heritage International School, the families and missionaries there now. Pray for ministries here, for health, for family and friends. Let me know how I can be praying for you. Be blessed this week. Much love homies!