Friday, November 26, 2010

Thoughts on dating and a prayer request

First of all, I have a prayer request for you all. My mom slipped on some ice on Wednesday morning. She broke her left wrist, broke her right arm, and possibly shattered her left shoulder. She goes tomorrow for some more X-rays and an MRI I believe. She's obviously in a good amount of pain and on top of the pain is the inconvenience of not being able to use either arms. She can't feed herself, she can't drink, she can't use the restroom or shower without assistance. Work is out of the question, at least for the time being. Schedules are being altered, plans cancelled and/or changed. It's been humbling for us all, really. I'm praising God this morning for southwest airlines and their help in the situation. Most of you know, but my dad goes and stays at our house in Arizona during the winter months because of his health, but we were able to switch his Christmas flight to today at no cost. It was a huge help. Now he can be here to help with her since my sister and I will be running the business for a while. I would really appreciate your prayers. Thanks be to God for a Thanksgiving where we got to eat good food as a family, all in one state. :) Amazing.

On a completely different note I have been doing some thinking recently... uh oh, right? Well I went out with a friend from high school with whom I've recently reconnected, thanks to the wonderful world of Facebook. He and I weren't best friends, but out of my circle of friends I probably knew him best. Anyway we met for dinner at a nice restaurant just about a block from my job this past Tuesday night. We chatted for nearly 3 hours over dinner and it was really nice to catch up with an old friend and also break away from my normal schedule. The conversation flowed, it was fairly easy and natural. I enjoyed hearing about the last, almost 10 years of his life, and it was cool to be able to share about my heart for missions and love of ministry. It's always nice to share about stuff currently going on in life with someone who's on the outside looking in... new perspectives are always a good thing. It's also nice to be able to reminisce about good times had and laughs shared.
There was a familiarity in our meeting together. Even though we don't know each other now, it was as though we never skipped a beat. Yet, in the back of my mind I was considering all of the things that I don't really know about him. Not being in each other's lives for 10 years and not really being that close in high school, how much do I really know about him? Not much at all.
Then I got to thinking about how long it takes to really know someone. To be completely comfortable around them and to trust them implicitly. To be able to be 100% yourself, unapologetically. It takes a long time for a relationship like that. Shared experiences and time spent together is the only way to form that kind of a trust. It's hard work. Those kind of relationships are real and honest. As I sat and had dinner with a guy who I knew so little about, I started realizing how un-fun dating is for me. Don't get me wrong, I had fun and it was a great evening. We're not in any way going to start dating now, but just the setting made me think about how I am in dating situations. Meeting new people and dating is not fun. It's awkward and a lot of pressure. Also at almost 28, to meet someone new means having to take the time to learn all of the stuff about them and the last nearly 30 years of their life. That's a lot. And on top of that, how do you really know that nothing is being left out? Not that you have to know every single detail of some one's life, but just think about how much life happens in 28 years. Think through your life and experiences. It seems difficult and yes, I recognize that the reason that people know what they know about me is that we've spent time together, but at this point to meet someone new seems overwhelming. It's always fun to start fresh... that's a huge positive. With someone new you're given the opportunity to share stuff that everyone else has heard or knows and it's fun to be able to do that.
I don't really know what the point of this is at all. I was just bothered by my reaction to being out with someone and the thought that it would be too much work to build a new relationship. I know that a lot of this has to do with my leaving for Africa. Why start something with someone I don't know at all? Doesn't make sense. If we'd known each other for years, then it'd be okay and make some sense. I am all for starting a relationship at some point. My ultimate goal is to get married at some point right? I guess that means awkward dating.
I got to hang out with an awesome girl friend last night and she was talking about how she doesn't want to be in another relationship again unless she's known the person and been friends for a while. It just makes it easier, it's less awkward and more natural. She's been set up on some blind dates and fixed up with random guys and it's not been a fun experience for her. Maybe I'll take that approach.
Maybe I'm just lazy. :)

1 comment:

Grants said...

Or maybe you're just normal :) Who knows what the Lord has in store for you.