I want to thank you all who have prayed for my dad this week with his surgery. He is a little sore, naturally, but he's doing well. Apparently he has to have another surgery a week from this Thursday on October, 7th. more prayers are welcome then. :) He has had so many surgeries in his life time, it's pretty ridiculous actually. He has a disease called Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome (RSDS), now sometimes to referred to as CRPS. This website gives a very brief overview of the disease. https://health.google.com/health/ref/Complex+regional+pain+syndrome Dad has always been in stage three and there's really no way of turning it around. He's in pain constantly. The reason for his recent surgery was to have the spinal cord stimulator in his back replaced. He has two of these devices in his body and they help to control some of the pain. The old units had batteries that only last for up to five years. He had a new unit put in on Thursday with a battery life of up to nine years. Hopefully it will last that long. However, the lead that connects to his spinal cord is not functioning now, so he will go back on for another surgery to replace that lead. Realistically it could have been done this past week, but doctors know best right? Actually if you couldn't detect my sarcasm, I'm pretty frustrated with the whole situation. It is a bit excessive for a 61 year old man to have to have this many major surgeries (5 in a year). The anesthetic cannot be good for you that frequently. Anyway, that's the update on my dad... thanks for the prayers.
Something else I wanted to do today was write out some things that have been floating around my head lately. This will be many disjointed thoughts, not necessarily related at all to each other, some maybe selfish, but they're honest. Mostly this is stuff you might know already. Read at your own risk.
I want to get married soon enough for my daddy to be able to WALK me down the aisle. All the surgeries are not encouraging me to believe that will ever happen. It's not his fault and I'm not sure that he would care whether I got married in a church or a courthouse.
I'm not sure I want to have some big lavish wedding. I think a backyard barbecue would be just as much, if not more fun than a huge fancy reception. I have a feeling I won't want to be dressed up all day.
A wedding is not about a party at all... it's really about celebrating a marriage... and praising God. I want to worship at my wedding... maybe I'll play some guitar.
I would rather be outside doing something, even if it's nothing exciting, than sitting inside staring at the tv.
I really like tv some days, but often feel like I've wasted time when I watch for too long. It's a catch 22 for me.
I'm not good at time management, or as good as I would like to be.
I love to rest, but when I'm not busy I'm bored. I will complain about how tired I am, but then opt not to sleep in order to do something else.
I'm not good at taking naps, but I kind of want to be better.
I love the beach... like really love the beach, but wandering through the forrest/mountains is an adventure I would take any day.
I love to hike, but I'm clumsy so it's funny for whoever is with me.
I don't like to sweat, but I sweat all the time... a trait inherited from my dad. Sweaty hands are gross and embarrassing. Oh well, it is what it is.
My college degree is finally being used and I'm just realizing how grateful I am to be good at communicating with people. The skills that I learned have enabled me to have some really cool relationships with youth.
I love speaking to large groups, but often don't prepare. When I prepare I get nervous thinking that I will forget something.
I love being a mentor.
I tend to trust people from the start, but if it's broken, good luck repairing it. I should work on that.
Some of my best friends are in high school/college right now and I'm ok with that.
God has given me this ability to love people implicitly, and sometimes obviously. I would not change it for the world. My compassion keeps me busy.
I want to use the abilities I've been given to love others deeply, as Christ loves them. I love having a ministry that spans continents.
I am a people pleaser, who often seeks the approval of others. Yet, some times I don't care what other people think because I can be pretty hard headed.
I can talk my way out of things pretty well, something I learned from my sister (who probably has never paid a late fee, or a ticket she didn't deserve in her life.)
I am blunt and will be honest, but also careful with feelings. If you ask me what I think or how I feel I'll probably tell you straight up.
I am more self-conscience than I would like... I wish I was better at eating healthy and exercising. I need to lose weight. Will I be happier then?
I absolutely adore babies... especially tiny newborn babies. I have lots of experience with them and I'm good at caring for them and loving on them. I'm going to be a good mom, not too much of a freak, first time mom. I don't want kids any time soon though. As much as I love them, I have no desire to have my own for a long time. I just really love being around all these babies again. I wish my sister would have another one... a boy. :)
I love spending time with my nieces. 3 and a half and almost 6 years old... they are so cute. So naughty sometimes!
My youth kids are amazing... from both WSC and NHPC. I wish I could split myself in half so I could be with both groups all the time. Thank God for effective ministry.
Going back to Africa is something I've wanted to do since the day I set foot back in America. Now I'm getting sad as the time draws nearer for me to leave again. I've had too much time to think about leaving this time. God is sovereign and His timing is perfect. Apparently I wasn't ready to go when I wanted to, so I'll go when He sees fit.
God is my all, my everything even though I don't always turn to Him before I turn to others. I feel weak every time I try to do stuff on my own. It's sometimes easier to give a friend a call when I have a need, but ultimately until I bring it before the Lord I can't be peaceful.
I struggle to live with my family and don't tell them I love them enough. The truth is that I love them more than words can say. My brother is awesome and could do anything he wants in life, but he's held back by himself and his addictions. He should be playing major league baseball, but that time has passed him by. Sometimes I fear for his life. Leaving for Africa becomes harder when I think about him.
I think I'll always have at least one pet. I hate cats and will hopefully never own one. I love dogs... I don't love when I move to Uganda and my family gives my dog away. I love having a turtle.
As much as I love all things music, I'm mediocre at best and have to work hard to be mediocre. I have no confidence in my vocals or my ability to play the guitar and sometimes am too embarrassed to play/sing in front of others. When I'm doing it for the Lord though, it's all about Him and not how I sound. Thankfully. I should have stuck with my music major. I was good at music theory.
I like to read, but am guilty of picking a series that I really like and reading and rereading the same books over and over. I've read nothing but Harry Potter and Twilight for the past year. I need to work on being that excited to read my bible, and not so cocky thinking that I know it all.
Mighty Ducks 2 and Sandlot might be two of my all time favorite movies.
I love sports. The Cubs will always be my team no matter how many years it is before they win again. Da Bears have the ability to make me scream at the tv... obviously I could run the plays more effectively! :) I'll always be a fan of Chicago sports (minus that team from the south side) and I think I'll always despise Green Bay and the Colts.
I used to avoid the sun so as not to appear to be anything but Italian and now I love the brown-ness of my skin. My dad had skin cancer... I should be more careful than I am.
When I see pain in someone's life I try to fix it... unsolicited mostly. I think everyone deserves to be loved and to understand that they deserve to be loved.
I have only truly loved one guy. I've been "in love" with a few guys. There's a huge difference.
Purity is something I cherish and will preach it until I die. What a gift to give your future husband or wife. It didn't used to be such a rare gift. The consequences are beyond what you may think.
I love the city, but would rather live in the country where I can have a yard to play in.
Africa has forever changed my life. Uganda is beautiful. I can't wait to spend more time in Kenya and Sudan. I love being called to missions right now, despite the sadness of leaving. I want to walk the orange dirt roads today and hear a boda man call out, "Hey Mzungu!!"
I want to experience other cultures too. Being fluent in Spanish, Italian, and Swahili, and Arabic would be awesome. I want to learn languages. Russia presents a challenge to me because it's hard to get into and the language seems impossible. We'll see. I am willing to go anywhere and serve, including here in America.
I sometimes go on rants, but most of the time I write them out in email form and refrain from clicking send because when I read them a week later, it's not that big of a deal.
Writing out my true feelings is easier for me that speaking them because I tend to forget everything I want to say or express.
I love to write. I can knock out a good 10 pager in a few hours of focused time and do well on it.
I've been told that my 7 tattoos make me look trashy, which makes me kinda sad, but I understand it. I definitely regret the placement of some of them. I regret getting two altogether. It's too expensive to have them removed and not worth the scarring.
With all the surgeries I've had to have over my life, I should be set as an adult. I don't have an appendix, tonsils, or a gall bladder. I've had foot surgery, ear tubes more times than I can remember (hence the difficulty I have with hearing), and have had my wisdom teeth removed. Anesthesia makes me totally goofy. Any time I've gotten vicodin for the pain after surgery I've made a fool of myself. I'm a lightweight when it comes to that stuff I guess.
I hate money. I don't like having it, I don't like having to deal with it. I know I"ll never have a lot and I'm actually thankful for that. It runs the world and ruins lives, but somehow it's a necessity. I can manage a budget with ease, but would rather not need to.
I went to bed at 4:00 this morning and got up at 9... so I'm gonna go practice that whole nap taking thing.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Adventures with Rubies and Dirt Bikes
August ended with a mixture of emotions as I had to say goodbye to some of the youth kids who have now gone off to college. Over the past year some really cool relationships have been built with these kids, so of course it was sad to watch them leave. On the other hand I'm really excited for all of them as they start this new part of their lives.
Ruby Elyse Freeman was born on August 31st at 10:06 pm. She is absolutely precious and I just love her so much. She has such a sweet spirit, very much like her mama. It was evident from the first time that I held her, only hours old, that Ruby is going to be a strong, beautiful woman. Both Carley and baby are doing really well as they adjust to life together. Matt is a very proud daddy and its fun to watch them interact. You can already tell that she just adores Carley and Matt. Here I am with her, she's two and half weeks old in this pic.
It's been so much fun to hang out with Ruby during the last couple of weeks. Babies do some very funny stuff that they don't even realize is funny. I know she doesn't have control over her expression yet, but in this picture she's showing one of her already famous facial expressions... the "o". So cute!!!
September has proved to be just as busy as the rest of my summer has been, but mostly this busyness has been my choice. I've recently decided that I want to get my motorcycle license. Not for any reason in particular, really just because it's fun. So in order to work up to that, one of my youth kids offered to let me try it out on one of his dirt bikes. So one Sunday afternoon, a crowd of youth kids gathered to watch me attempt to ride a dirt bike in the church parking lot. Of course I was really excited... and then I saw the crowd. As my nerves took over I knew there was no way to back out of it and live it down so I got on the bike, received a brief tutorial, and took off. After stalling twice, I wheelied and was off around the parking lot. I only rode for maybe 20 or 30 minutes that day, but in that short time it seemed like every pastor and other prominent member of the church passed through the parking lot. All in all it was a success and I didn't wipe out once... until the next weekend.
Tom and Ian Howard (father and son, owners of the bikes) invited me to go out to the trails with them and practice some more on the bike. They assured me that I wouldn't be slowing them down and that they had brought many newbies with them, so I quickly agreed to go. The 45 minute drive south to Marseilles, IL where the Cliffs Insane Terrain (www.thecliffsinsaneterrain.com) is located should have been a peaceful drive through the country. Instead, I could only focus on not throwing up because I was so nervous that I was going to be the one person who they take out that gets seriously injured. I mean, then name "Insane Terrain" doesn't have a comforting ring to it. We arrived around the same time and I watched as they unloaded the 3 dirt bikes. The parking lot was full of different off-road vehicles, from dirt bikes and ATVs, to dune buggies and tricked-out mud covered Jeeps. Some of these Jeeps had tires that were nearly as tall as I am. So sweet! Anyway, as I was watching these awesome vehicles climb the Hill that leads to the trails I thought, "there's absolutely no way that I'm going to be able to get the dirt bike up that gravel and rut covered hill."
We went up to the office, paid, signed waivers, and got our bracelets. Tom gassed the bikes up and we were ready to go. Well, they were. I felt sick. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was going to die. Well obviously I didn't die, but half way up the first hill I ended up in the trees. After a few rounds on the motocross track and lots of wipe outs, we went to a flat area for me to practice the basics. So I practiced shifting gears, using the foot brake, and not stalling because I tend to drop the clutch. After we practiced for a while, Tom convinced me to ride my bike down the hill back to the parking lot for some lunch. Getting down the hill was easier than I thought it would be, riding first gear and tapping the back brake. We got some lunch and then ventured back up the dreaded hill to the flat area where we had spent the morning. I made it up the hill without any problems this time, much more in control of the bike than I had been in the morning. I practiced shifting gears for a little while longer and then we (they) decided it was time to hit the trails. Judging by the amount of mud coming off Ian and Tom as they traded off watching me practice and exploring trails, I knew I was in for a slippery ride.
Leaving the flat (safe) area, around the first turn was a huge mud pit with standing water. The ruts from the Jeeps and ATVs were deep. I watched Tom and Ian successfully fly through the mud, keeping their feet out for balance. I froze. In my mind I decided that I was just going to head back down to the parking lot. There was no way I could have enough control of the bike, focus on the clutch, throttle, and brake and still make it through standing up. I had already taken my fair share of spills too... flown over the handle bars, bike falling on me as a rut stole my balance, ending up in the trees and bushes because I panicked and gave it too much gas. If I went out on the muddy trails I would surely die. Well Tom rode back over to where I stood frozen on my bike, and somehow convinced me to follow him, showing me exactly how to do it again. I reluctantly followed and successfully made it through that first mud pit without a fall. Can I just say that that was the easy part?!
The trails proved to be riddled with large rocks, trees branches, creeks, ruts, jumps, and other ridiculous obstacles. Through all that I took it slow, only wiping out once and having Tom take my bike down a hill he knew would be too challenging. I inadvertently took a jump that came out of no where and landed it. I have never felt my adrenaline course through my veins as much as I did that day. There were times when my heart was racing, my palms were sweaty (thankful for gloves!), and I was panicking, but I decided to keep going. After making it through that we reconvened in the parking lot and I suggested that the boys go out without me so they didn't have to go slow anymore. They explored for another 20 minutes or so and then we packed up. At the end of it all, I was still smiling, so it couldn't have been that bad, right?
After I got home and showered all the mud off of me, I assessed the damages. Lots of large bruises, but nothing horrible until the next day. It was a challenge to lift my arms... it felt like I had spent a day at the gym pumping some serious iron. It's been two and half weeks since we were on the trails and the bruising is almost completely gone now. At first I decided I would never go again, but today it doesn't sound so bad. :)
The next weekend I decided to go up to East Lansing to Michigan State to visit with some of the youth kids. 4 of my girls go to college within an hour of each other so the other 3 made their way to MSU for a visit. I brought Jacob (another college freshman) with me since he's going to school locally and it was nice to have a friend with me in the car to keep me entertained. We had a fun filled weekend of eating food, walking around campus, eating more food, walking more, eating ice cream, and walking some more. It was really just a sweet time with kids that I love dearly. I enjoyed getting to see where Jodi is these days and how life at a state school works. The campus is absolutely beautiful. We had a blast simply being together. The Lord has really opened doors and enabled me to be someone that these kids really trust and depend on. It's a total blessing to have such awesome relationships with them. I think it was a nice break for all of them too. Nice for Jacob to get out of Naperville, for Jodi to have familiar faces, and for KP, Morgan, and Alex to get away from school for a while. Praise the Lord for good friends.
I am still in the process of figuring out what's next for me here in America. I have some really tough choices to make for the next few months, but I know I'm ready for a change. I've been looking for jobs and housing in Indy, so that's a good possibility. Please join me in praying for clarity and the right decisions for both me and the kids I minister to. Also please pray for my dad as he's scheduled to undergo major surgery this Thursday if he's healthy enough. I'm hoping to post again soon after his surgery to update you all on how it went. Thanks ahead of time for the prayer.
I am still planning on a January departure back to Uganda. Please continue to lift up the ministries there. Pray for the people and their hearts. Rest in the promises of Pslam 37 today. Thanks friends!
Ruby Elyse Freeman was born on August 31st at 10:06 pm. She is absolutely precious and I just love her so much. She has such a sweet spirit, very much like her mama. It was evident from the first time that I held her, only hours old, that Ruby is going to be a strong, beautiful woman. Both Carley and baby are doing really well as they adjust to life together. Matt is a very proud daddy and its fun to watch them interact. You can already tell that she just adores Carley and Matt. Here I am with her, she's two and half weeks old in this pic.
It's been so much fun to hang out with Ruby during the last couple of weeks. Babies do some very funny stuff that they don't even realize is funny. I know she doesn't have control over her expression yet, but in this picture she's showing one of her already famous facial expressions... the "o". So cute!!!
September has proved to be just as busy as the rest of my summer has been, but mostly this busyness has been my choice. I've recently decided that I want to get my motorcycle license. Not for any reason in particular, really just because it's fun. So in order to work up to that, one of my youth kids offered to let me try it out on one of his dirt bikes. So one Sunday afternoon, a crowd of youth kids gathered to watch me attempt to ride a dirt bike in the church parking lot. Of course I was really excited... and then I saw the crowd. As my nerves took over I knew there was no way to back out of it and live it down so I got on the bike, received a brief tutorial, and took off. After stalling twice, I wheelied and was off around the parking lot. I only rode for maybe 20 or 30 minutes that day, but in that short time it seemed like every pastor and other prominent member of the church passed through the parking lot. All in all it was a success and I didn't wipe out once... until the next weekend.
Tom and Ian Howard (father and son, owners of the bikes) invited me to go out to the trails with them and practice some more on the bike. They assured me that I wouldn't be slowing them down and that they had brought many newbies with them, so I quickly agreed to go. The 45 minute drive south to Marseilles, IL where the Cliffs Insane Terrain (www.thecliffsinsaneterrain.com) is located should have been a peaceful drive through the country. Instead, I could only focus on not throwing up because I was so nervous that I was going to be the one person who they take out that gets seriously injured. I mean, then name "Insane Terrain" doesn't have a comforting ring to it. We arrived around the same time and I watched as they unloaded the 3 dirt bikes. The parking lot was full of different off-road vehicles, from dirt bikes and ATVs, to dune buggies and tricked-out mud covered Jeeps. Some of these Jeeps had tires that were nearly as tall as I am. So sweet! Anyway, as I was watching these awesome vehicles climb the Hill that leads to the trails I thought, "there's absolutely no way that I'm going to be able to get the dirt bike up that gravel and rut covered hill."
We went up to the office, paid, signed waivers, and got our bracelets. Tom gassed the bikes up and we were ready to go. Well, they were. I felt sick. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was going to die. Well obviously I didn't die, but half way up the first hill I ended up in the trees. After a few rounds on the motocross track and lots of wipe outs, we went to a flat area for me to practice the basics. So I practiced shifting gears, using the foot brake, and not stalling because I tend to drop the clutch. After we practiced for a while, Tom convinced me to ride my bike down the hill back to the parking lot for some lunch. Getting down the hill was easier than I thought it would be, riding first gear and tapping the back brake. We got some lunch and then ventured back up the dreaded hill to the flat area where we had spent the morning. I made it up the hill without any problems this time, much more in control of the bike than I had been in the morning. I practiced shifting gears for a little while longer and then we (they) decided it was time to hit the trails. Judging by the amount of mud coming off Ian and Tom as they traded off watching me practice and exploring trails, I knew I was in for a slippery ride.
Leaving the flat (safe) area, around the first turn was a huge mud pit with standing water. The ruts from the Jeeps and ATVs were deep. I watched Tom and Ian successfully fly through the mud, keeping their feet out for balance. I froze. In my mind I decided that I was just going to head back down to the parking lot. There was no way I could have enough control of the bike, focus on the clutch, throttle, and brake and still make it through standing up. I had already taken my fair share of spills too... flown over the handle bars, bike falling on me as a rut stole my balance, ending up in the trees and bushes because I panicked and gave it too much gas. If I went out on the muddy trails I would surely die. Well Tom rode back over to where I stood frozen on my bike, and somehow convinced me to follow him, showing me exactly how to do it again. I reluctantly followed and successfully made it through that first mud pit without a fall. Can I just say that that was the easy part?!
The trails proved to be riddled with large rocks, trees branches, creeks, ruts, jumps, and other ridiculous obstacles. Through all that I took it slow, only wiping out once and having Tom take my bike down a hill he knew would be too challenging. I inadvertently took a jump that came out of no where and landed it. I have never felt my adrenaline course through my veins as much as I did that day. There were times when my heart was racing, my palms were sweaty (thankful for gloves!), and I was panicking, but I decided to keep going. After making it through that we reconvened in the parking lot and I suggested that the boys go out without me so they didn't have to go slow anymore. They explored for another 20 minutes or so and then we packed up. At the end of it all, I was still smiling, so it couldn't have been that bad, right?
After I got home and showered all the mud off of me, I assessed the damages. Lots of large bruises, but nothing horrible until the next day. It was a challenge to lift my arms... it felt like I had spent a day at the gym pumping some serious iron. It's been two and half weeks since we were on the trails and the bruising is almost completely gone now. At first I decided I would never go again, but today it doesn't sound so bad. :)
The next weekend I decided to go up to East Lansing to Michigan State to visit with some of the youth kids. 4 of my girls go to college within an hour of each other so the other 3 made their way to MSU for a visit. I brought Jacob (another college freshman) with me since he's going to school locally and it was nice to have a friend with me in the car to keep me entertained. We had a fun filled weekend of eating food, walking around campus, eating more food, walking more, eating ice cream, and walking some more. It was really just a sweet time with kids that I love dearly. I enjoyed getting to see where Jodi is these days and how life at a state school works. The campus is absolutely beautiful. We had a blast simply being together. The Lord has really opened doors and enabled me to be someone that these kids really trust and depend on. It's a total blessing to have such awesome relationships with them. I think it was a nice break for all of them too. Nice for Jacob to get out of Naperville, for Jodi to have familiar faces, and for KP, Morgan, and Alex to get away from school for a while. Praise the Lord for good friends.
I am still in the process of figuring out what's next for me here in America. I have some really tough choices to make for the next few months, but I know I'm ready for a change. I've been looking for jobs and housing in Indy, so that's a good possibility. Please join me in praying for clarity and the right decisions for both me and the kids I minister to. Also please pray for my dad as he's scheduled to undergo major surgery this Thursday if he's healthy enough. I'm hoping to post again soon after his surgery to update you all on how it went. Thanks ahead of time for the prayer.
I am still planning on a January departure back to Uganda. Please continue to lift up the ministries there. Pray for the people and their hearts. Rest in the promises of Pslam 37 today. Thanks friends!
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