What can I do??

The past couple of weeks have flown by and it's really hard to believe that I've already been in Uganda for over 2 months. With April coming my schedule doesn't seem to be slowing down, but what fun would that be, right? Since I last updated it seems like a million things have come up that I've wanted to post about, but now that I have a minute to sit down and write none of those things are coming to me. Here's a brief update though...

My class at the Center of Hope is going really well and I love my students more each time we meet. I subbed for a friend's class last week and loved her students too. I am blessed to be surrounded by some of the sweetest people I've ever met. These refugees are fantastic and in getting to know them and hearing their stories I find myself completely overwhelmed with the great need this world is in. The worship service has been going well on Wednesday nights and the Lord is moving in big ways. I'm very thankful to Jesus for worship on Wednesdays. The week of the 14th was a very rough week for me. Without going into much detail to protect others, there is a bit of an issue with a youth kid here and I am really needing prayer in the situation. Healing needs to take place, but mostly lives need to surrender to Jesus. I'm reminded more and more that it's not about what I can do, it's about surrendering and allowing God to work. I've found myself on my knees, crying out for the youth very often lately and I'm imploring you to do the same. My heart is beyond broken and the burden I feel is huge. Just as I was typing that out the Spirit reminded me...

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Amen, yeah? Yeah. So other than those few things I actually had the chance to take an unexpected vacation last week. Heritage International School was on Spring Break last week which meant all of my teacher friends had time off too. A few of them decided to take a 22 hour bus ride to the coast in Kenya. I joined them and spent 5 days in Mombasa hanging on the beach, snorkeling the reefs in the crystal clear water of the Indian Ocean, and avoiding beach hawkers. I did indeed kiss another camel... they're just too cute. For those of you who followed the blog last time I was here you know I rode a camel which was a life goal of mine. I know... my life goals are just so lofty, aren't they? :) Over all we had a good time. Mombasa is HOT and humid pretty much all the time, but we found a cheap hotel with air conditioning. What a blessing! The last night we stayed at a guest house in Mombasa town. Let's just say it wasn't as nice. Ok, but really it was filthy and sweltering. We didn't get much sleep that night, but it was ok because we spent the next day back at the beach. That next night we hopped on an over night bus back to Nairobi. Not even two benadryl helped me sleep, so by the time we got to Nairobi I was exhausted.

I'm currently in Nairobi doing some work for WGM. It just worked out that I could schedule some meetings here and up country in Kericho before heading back to Kampala. Being here is such a treat... they have everything! Well almost everything. No McDonald's or anything like that. It's just very upscale here compared to Kampala, so it's nice to drive on mostly smooth roads that aren't as covered with trash. They have some really nice restaurants too. Also it's about 10-15 degrees cooler here because it's a higher altitude. Yay for being able to straighten my hair a bit. HOWEVER I do have to say that I much prefer Kampala and I'm missing being there right now. Not only do I miss my friends, but I miss the comforts of my second home. I like being able to hop on a boda and shoot off somewhere. I like seeing familiar faces with huge smiles that light up my days. I like being "home".

Since being here I've been shadowing one of the WGM missionaries who has been here for about 30 years. She's been showing me one of the ministries that she's heavily involved in and helping me to get a good idea of what her life is like day to day. My goal is to assist her and the other WGM missionaries throughout Africa to market their ministries. I'm trying to help them keep their supporters very updated and involved in their ministries. Raising awareness is difficult when you are busy all the time and it's tough to keep all of your supporters up to date, but hopefully with some new printed and web material we'll be more effective at keeping you all posted on things here.

Today we went to a couple of hospitals and orphanages. Obviously I'm not a nurse like these missionaries, but just following them around and watching them work was overwhelming. Like I was saying before, there's SO much work to be done and it's not just in Kenya, Uganda, or just in Africa. It's everywhere. I met a boy today who would have died if it weren't for a missionary discovering an illness. I shook hands with and hugged countless kids and youth who are HIV+ and have AIDs. I heard stories of how and why they are in the situations that they are in. You guys... it's heartbreaking. The longer I'm here, the more stories I hear, the more people I want to help. It's never ending. I'm realizing that I can't fix everything for everyone. I can't solve the world's problems no matter how badly I want to. Tomorrow I'm going into the biggest slum in all of Africa. Imagine... over a million people crammed into a very small area, living in filth, starving, and dying of AIDs and malaria. I can't even think about what I'm going to be feeling tomorrow as I walk through there in my Nikes, with my wallet full of cash, full belly from breakfast, and iPod in my purse.

There is too much need for people to be just sitting around. If every single person did something every day, how much could we change? Even more, if every single person was living out the Great Commission how many more souls would be saved? God provides. He calls His people into obedience and provides.

My heart breaks more every day. The more I invest into people's lives and hear their stories, the more broken I feel. Jesus came and died to save us. He heals the sick and broken. Knowing His healing power and saving grace is the only thing that gets me through each day. I was never promised that it would be easy, but I know that it's worth it. Every time I see a smile on one of the refugee's faces or watch the Sudanese guys strive for greatness from brokenness, I'm reminded of why I'm here. The youth, the refugees, my friends, my family... they need to know Jesus.

Pour Yourself our Spirit, come Jesus.

Women's Day and Hungry Boys

This past Tuesday was International Women's Day. At the Center of Hope I helped to organize and run the celebration which included women from many different nations. My main job was to preach on John 4, the story of the woman at the well. As I was preparing my message for Tuesday I knew that I had a huge job before me. You see, most of the women who were attending the celebration were of other faiths. They come from countries and backgrounds that execute them if they convert. Many of these women are in my class and also come to the Wednesday night worship service that I lead, so I've gotten to know them a bit over the past two months and I love them! I wrestled with the idea of someone losing a life because of a message that they hear whether it be from me or anyone. So as I was praying on how to speak to these women, God gave me a peace and simply asked me to trust Him. He reminded me that it is great to die knowing Him than to live not knowing Him. It's still so difficult for me to think about because I've never been threatened with death because of my faith. I do know that there are thousands if not millions of people around the world living in places where it is illegal to speak the name Jesus Christ. Where they have to sneak around and only worship at night in hidden places in order to spare their lives. I'm blessed to have always lived in a place where I can worship the One true God freely, without hesitation.

To be honest with you, I don't remember the exact words that I said, but I do know that the Holy Spirit was present and stirring hearts. The words were not my own... something I prayed for and I know many of you prayed for as well. The celebration included women from 5 different countries. I've never been in the presence of such strong women in my entire life. One of the activities that we had them do was to break up into their countries and write out an example of a day in the life of a women from their culture. From the time they wake to the time they sleep, what does a day look like. I learned so much about each of the cultures and it was so amazing to hear the stories of strength and life from each of the women. It was very cool to see peoples faces as they somehow related to each other's struggles and triumphs. They understood what it was like because they themselves have similar stories. The discipline and the courage it takes to be a woman of their cultures is incredible. Maybe it sounds cheesy, but I've never been more inspired than I was this past Tuesday. I spent 5 or 6 hours with about 50 women who blew my mind.

It wasn't all about what women do though, it was a celebration... so we danced, ate traditional food, drank pop and Eritrean coffee roasted right in front of us, we had henna applied, and we had a fashion show. The laughter shared was refreshing. We had SO much fun.

So when it came time for me to preach, there was no need to be nervous even though all of these people were there risking their lives. God was in control of the whole situation. So I stood before them, told them I was a follower of Christ, and that I would be sharing from the bible which is the true Word of God. I read them the story of the woman at the well. I talked through the Samaritan woman's life, how Jesus knew the truth about her, pointed it out, went out of His way to meet her where she was. I talked about the fact that rabbis were not permitted to speak with women, even their own family in public. And the somehow, it all tied into the fact that we're all adopted into God's family and He is seeking us out. Again, I don't remember all of what I said because it wasn't me, but I do know that the women heard what was said and I'm trusting that seeds were planted in some hearts. Will you join me in praying for these women, for their souls, for their lives?

So aside from Women's Day I've been incredibly busy with lots of other stuff from teaching at the Center of Hope, to working on the Buvuma Island Orphan project, to hanging out with youth and students. It's been really nice to spend so much time with youth again, especially Lino and Angelo. As a "thank you" for sharing their stories with me I took some of the guys out for an all-you-can-eat Mongolian BBQ dinner at a country club here. It's a really nice place and if it were in the States it would easily be $35 per person, but I only paid about $15 per guy including two bottles of pop each (no free refills in Africa). In preparation for the ridiculous amount of food to be eaten, I kept my consumption for the day to a bottle of Coke and a little bit of bread. I wanted to challenge the guys to an eating contest. I knew I would loose, but I still wanted to try. By the time we went through the line and filled our first plates up, mine was only half as full as their's were so I had already lost. While we waited for our food to be cooked we laughed and had a good time. I love spending time with those guys, there's never a dull moment. In the end Lino and Hussein ate the most, nearly triple what I was able to eat. So beyond the large amounts of yummy food we ate, it was a good time of relaxing and just hanging out with some awesome guys. Would you join me in praying for their hearts and souls as well??

Round 1


Lino is still smiling before round 2


Taban and I after we were finished



Lino and I (how can he still smile?? yuck!)



Saudi and I

Jesus, come

Yeah, I know I just posted a couple of days ago, but my heart is heavy and this is an outlet since I don't have my guitar tonight. Normally I'd do some song writing, but my guitar is at the Center because I used it for the worship service, but couldn't carry it on a boda on the way home. Anyways, as I'm leading this worship service I was thinking about how often I don't give my all. I come and do what I've always done, but don't go out of my way sometimes... even when there are beautiful souls on the line. I feel a burden like I've never felt before for certain people to come to know the Lord, but I'm accepting mediocrity from myself. Doesn't God deserve more? Don't these lost souls deserve more? Of course He does and of course they do.

Tonight was my night to speak and like always, I just threw something together and said the right words because I can and because I've been doing it for 15 years. It's so easy to come up with something. And even if my words were true, which they were, I feel like it's much less effective because it was just easy for me. There were people there who are so incredibly grateful for the praise and worship and for the message, but I could have done better. The best thing about this whole night is that God still spoke through me to some and He still softened hearts. I'm so thankful that it's not all about what I can or cannot do. Praise be to God that He is sovereign in my stupidity and Moses-like bumbling. Praise be to God that people show up every week to sing songs, to hear the Word, and to pray. Praise be to God that people show up even though it endangers their lives as it's illegal for some to convert.

For now, for in this time, God has put certain people in my life who I am called to love and serve. More than that though, God gives me opportunities daily to draw nearer to Him. To seek Him with all my being. My prayer tonight is to turn away from the things that distract me from keeping my focus and drawing nearer to Him. I'm praying for these hearts to be softened and for souls to be saved. Jesus has overcome the darkness and I'm praying for more of His light to be revealed. The darkness cannot hide from the light. I'm praying for God to pour Himself out over Africa in such a way that people cannot ignore Him. I'm praying for the Lord to call up His people to come and preach the truth. My heart aches for this continent tonight. It aches for my students, for my friends, and for my family. Jesus, come.