Jesus, come

Yeah, I know I just posted a couple of days ago, but my heart is heavy and this is an outlet since I don't have my guitar tonight. Normally I'd do some song writing, but my guitar is at the Center because I used it for the worship service, but couldn't carry it on a boda on the way home. Anyways, as I'm leading this worship service I was thinking about how often I don't give my all. I come and do what I've always done, but don't go out of my way sometimes... even when there are beautiful souls on the line. I feel a burden like I've never felt before for certain people to come to know the Lord, but I'm accepting mediocrity from myself. Doesn't God deserve more? Don't these lost souls deserve more? Of course He does and of course they do.

Tonight was my night to speak and like always, I just threw something together and said the right words because I can and because I've been doing it for 15 years. It's so easy to come up with something. And even if my words were true, which they were, I feel like it's much less effective because it was just easy for me. There were people there who are so incredibly grateful for the praise and worship and for the message, but I could have done better. The best thing about this whole night is that God still spoke through me to some and He still softened hearts. I'm so thankful that it's not all about what I can or cannot do. Praise be to God that He is sovereign in my stupidity and Moses-like bumbling. Praise be to God that people show up every week to sing songs, to hear the Word, and to pray. Praise be to God that people show up even though it endangers their lives as it's illegal for some to convert.

For now, for in this time, God has put certain people in my life who I am called to love and serve. More than that though, God gives me opportunities daily to draw nearer to Him. To seek Him with all my being. My prayer tonight is to turn away from the things that distract me from keeping my focus and drawing nearer to Him. I'm praying for these hearts to be softened and for souls to be saved. Jesus has overcome the darkness and I'm praying for more of His light to be revealed. The darkness cannot hide from the light. I'm praying for God to pour Himself out over Africa in such a way that people cannot ignore Him. I'm praying for the Lord to call up His people to come and preach the truth. My heart aches for this continent tonight. It aches for my students, for my friends, and for my family. Jesus, come.