To Smart Phone Or Not To Smart Phone...

I've been struggling with something since I've been home from Uganda.  Smart phones.  Nearly everyone has one and if you don't have one it's definitely weird.  Everyone in my family has one.  Almost all of my youth kids have them.  I've had the same simple touch screen phone for a couple of years now.  It makes calls and sends texts... all in all, it does it's job as a phone.  I'm up for a free full upgrade soon and I've got to choose a new phone.  The thing is, I'm not sure if I actually want to choose a new phone or if I want to keep this old phone and be content living "old school".

My biggest fear when thinking of getting a smart phone is becoming like everyone else with one... completely dependent on it.  I can't tell you how frustrated I've been since being home.  It's as though these silly phones are running the world now.  Ok, maybe that's a bit dramatic, but I really used to enjoy having one on one conversations with people that didn't include needing the internet for something.

As shocking as it may be, I just drove across the country and not once did I need google maps!  WHAT?!  I know!  Am I some sort of genius??  Well yes, but I also know how to read a map.  I know which direction is north, south, east, and west.  

The youth kids have been pretty good about being engaged during youth group and church, but on a number of occasions when we've done stuff outside of church, just hanging out and such, they're on their phones.  It's as though something life changing is happening, but in reality 3 people have posted on facebook and it wasn't that exciting.  Face to face verbal communication is way lacking.  I'm so sad watching these smart phones become people's lifelines.  Yes, if I lost my phone I'd be lost without a lot of the numbers, but it would definitely be possible to get them back.

I understand that this is the age we're living in now and as technology moves forward things will change even more.  Please understand that I'm not belittling you if you can't live without your phone... I do however, want to challenge you to try to live without it for a full day.  Don't even carry with you in case of emergency.  Someone will figure out a way to get ahold of you whether you have a phone or not.  Also, you're surrounded by people who all have phones too, so you'll be able to call someone if you have to.

I agree that it's fun to be able to google something when you're having a debate or look up the closest Chipotle when everyone is hungry, but I also believe that it's not critical.  I love life being made easier, I  guess I just don't like the way it's getting easier.

Looking back at my year in Uganda... I didn't have a smart phone.  For most of the year I carried an old school Nokia that only calls and texts.  One of the only games on the phone was Snake.  It didn't have a full keyboard for texting, just the normal buttons on a wall phone.  Somehow during that year I survived.  I was content with what I had.  Smart phones are available in Kampala and you can use the internet on them.  Many people are catching on and I see plenty of posts on facebook from people's mobile devices.  This is just the way the world is going.  But if I didn't know where I was going, I called someone to ask, or I stopped to ask someone.  There wasn't one email throughout the year that couldn't wait until I got home to see.  No one's post on facebook changed the world in the hours I was away from a computer.  I liked it.  Sure, after a few days of the internet being down or very unreliable I would start to become annoyed.  I didn't like being cut off from the world, since the internet was my main source of, not only communication with you all, but world news as well.  

I've always been one of those people able to ignore my phone when it's ringing or when I get a text.  If I'm meeting with someone and even if I'm just hanging out, I ignore my phone because I think it's rude to be on the phone when you're with other people... or at the dinner table.  I don't like watching people be slaves to their phone or feel obligated to respond asap.

So as I step down off of my soapbox, I'm still contemplating joining the ranks of those of you who carry your big 'ol smart phones around.  I am seriously struggling with this choice and keeping the will-power to ignore the internet.  

On a completely different note, I was laying in the sun today, reading my book and trying to get my tan on, but I kept finding myself distracted.  The book I'm reading is called A Long Way Gone and I'm sure I'll write about it soon, but it's a true story of a child soldier in Sierra Leon in the '90's.  It's very captivating and hard to put down, but today my mind wandered a lot.  I couldn't help but long to be in church.  I've been so disappointed all day that it's only Wednesday.  I can't wait for Sunday, to gather as the body of Christ and to worship Him together.  I really like the church I went to on Sunday, but I'm also convinced that it doesn't matter right now... I just want to be in church.  It's an awesome feeling and I've enjoyed spending this day with Him, so closely.  It's been a long time since I've been so excited to be in church though.  Praise the Lord for such a desire.  Praying for it to continue as I seek the Lord on a job, whether in a church or not, and on future plans.  

Fingerprints of God

When given the opportunity to head across the country and away from the cold, my bags were packed and I was ready to go in no time.  My mom hasn't had a real vacation in at least two years and she decided she wanted to drive to the house in Arizona and spend a couple of weeks away from Chicago.  It was one of the best last minute decisions ever.

As I packed my bag and headed (the opposite way) to Indiana for a youth retreat, thoughts of Arizona and warmth overwhelmed me.  It had been about 5 years since I'd been to AZ.  As soon as I got to the retreat and saw everyone, the trip scheduled for Monday morning was pushed to the back of my mind.  I had a fantastic weekend reconnecting with the kids, playing outside, and seeing my friend again.

On the way home from the retreat on Sunday I got to stop and visit a friend I served with in Uganda in 2008-2009.  I got to visit Nick's church, see where he works, and cook yummy Ethiopian with him.  It was so nice to spend time with someone so familiar and understanding of my thoughts and emotions about being back in America.

Sunday night I got home, packed, and slept for about 3 hours before my mom, my brother and his dog, and I hit the road.  It's about a 28 hour drive to Phoenix, but armed with satellite radio, my iPod, and some snacks and pop, we were off.  I drove all the way through Illinois and Missouri, but by the time Oklahoma hit I was pretty tired.  My brother drove for about 3 hours before we got dinner and I felt recharged for the drive through the night.  I finished off Oklahoma, Texas, and more than half of New Mexico before I couldn't stay awake anymore.  It was about 3am at this point and I'd been awake for 23 hours, coming off a weekend of little sleep, and 3 hours of sleep the night before.  I slept for about 40 minutes and then was pretty awake.  My brother drove until we hit Gallup, NM where we stopped for breakfast.  The sun began to creep over the mountains as I got back in the driver's seat to finish off the trip.

Now if any of you have ever ridden long distance in the car with me... you know that as long as there's music on, I'm rocking out.  There's only one good Christian station on satellite radio and it pretty well plays the top 30 in Christian music.  I often found myself channel surfing and landing on the 90's station.  I didn't have much of a voice by the time we would stop for gas and to be honest I didn't really care if I was keeping everyone else awake.  I sing because I care!  I sing to stay awake.  I love road trippin' simply because I like the opportunity to think, pray, and sing.  I had good amounts of time with the Lord as we cruised through the Great Plains into the Southwest.

As we crossed into Arizona, with the sun illuminating the mountains, I was breathless.  I've driven these same roads back and forth many times over the last 13 years.  I've seen all the sights... I've stopped at many of the rest stops.  The radio started playing Steven Curtis Chapman's song Fingerprints of God just as these awesome gems of creation came into view.  What struck me is that I'd normally change the channel when old Steven songs come on because they're way played out and some are way high on the cheese-o-meter in my opinion. (don't be offended if you're a fan, I do like some of his stuff.)  However, for whatever reason I let the song play and took the opportunity to praise the Lord for what His hands have made.  What a beautifully creative God we serve!  How awesome is He?!  From the red soil and desert of New Mexico, into the northern Arizona mountains capped with bright white snow... amazing.  I found myself way more energized and excited about finally being back in Arizona.

In high school, I despised this state for capturing my family.  In college it was a fun place to visit... spring break, Cubs games, working with friends at Walgreens.  After college I only came twice... once for Thanksgiving (and to help my parents move) and once to help my brother.  Since then I've pretty well stayed east of the Mississippi.

We got in that Tuesday morning, rested and enjoyed the 80 degree weather.  Wednesday I found a local UM church to attend for Ash Wed service.  It's right in the middle of some big neighborhoods so I figured there'd be a good mix of people.  I was wrong.  I was the youngest person there in their tiny little sanctuary.  After convincing myself to stay, I settled in to a beautiful service.  Worship began and I found that aside from the worship leader and about 3 of the other 45 people in there, I was one of the only people singing on key.  What was so beautiful was that it didn't matter.  Normally that kind of thing distracts me and keeps me from being able to focus, but not that day.  I found it lovely to be sitting amongst God's beloved children.

The next few days were filled with laying in the sun, reading, and being ridiculously sick.  I always get sick when I change climates, plus some of Trent's youth kids were sick over the weekend.  It was almost inevitable.  It began on Thursday and 4 tissue boxes later, I'm still not feeling well.  I did get up and go to church on Sunday.  There is another place pretty close to home that I've been wanting to try.  I was pretty skeptical going into it because the church is huge!  We're talking HUGE.  There are separate wings for youth and children's ministry.  It's a beautiful building and the parking lot was full of nice cars.  I immediately assumed that I would walk in unnoticed and be ignored, just based on the appearance.  How judgmental of me!  It was great!  I was greeted happily by those I was sitting near and I felt comfortable as soon as I dropped my guard.  The music was good, the preaching was challenging, and I found people to be (mostly) down to earth.  I didn't stick around of check into it too much because I had plans after the service, plus I was sneezing all over everything, but it was a great morning and I believe God was glorified!  I was quickly reminded that it's not about my comfort or my experience, but about coming together as believers and worshipping the One true God.

Needless to say, I've really enjoyed my time here thus far.  Aside from the whole feeling-like-death thing, of course.  Praise God.

Hope and Love: A True Story

As I drove home from church this week my mind was anywhere but on the road.  It was one of those drives when you don't remember how you got where ever you were going, but you're thankful nonetheless, that you got there safely.  My mind had drifted about 9,000 miles Southeast, to a tiny house filled to the brim with love.  In that house lives some of the most precious people I've ever met in my life.  People I had the privilege of knowing, loving, teaching, and serving over this past year.  Family.  They are refugees living in Uganda who do not (yet) know the Lord and are at risk of losing their lives if they choose to do so.

When I returned to Uganda in January of 2011, I was given the opportunity to teach English as a Second Language at the Centre of Hope, a center for refugees run by Refuge and Hope International.  I'm good friends with the co-directors of Refuge and Hope and I love what their ministry focuses on, so it was a no-brainer for me to agree to work with them.  I started off by teaching a reading and writing class... which I had never done before.  Sure I was a 6th grade teacher for a year, and yes, I teach Bible lessons all the time, but ESL is completely different.

Have you ever taken a foreign language class?  When I think about taking Spanish in high school I remember the teacher speaking A LOT of English.  The book we worked out of was as much, if not more English than Spanish.  Imagine trying to learn a language from a teacher who doesn't know a word of your native tongue.  Not much help can be given if there's a misunderstanding.  Sure, full immersion is a great way to learn a language, but it is NOT easy.  Also, English is a very difficult language to learn!  Grammatically it's confusing and often times doesn't follow it's own rules.  Plus, some letters make more than one sound and the rules surrounding that craziness don't always make sense either.  I could see a student getting frustrated very easily with English.

As I got into the classroom and became aware of the needs of the individual students I knew that it would not be easy to address those needs individually.  Many were there taking every English class available, yet hardly understanding a word.  Others had fairly good listening and speaking skills, but when it came to reading and writing they were lost.  I quickly learned that my role wasn't just teacher though... it was friend and counselor as well.

The students had numerous opportunities through different assignments to share their stories with me.  Some shared with the class, others only wrote them.  From the broken English I was able to gather much of what they had gone through in their lives.  Many of them have been separated from their families because of war in their home countries.  A return to their homes is not likely to occur any time soon, a fact of which they are well aware.  As I read through stories and had conversations with the refugees, many relationships were built.  There's a trust that happens and is built by love and time spent.

In February of 2011, Refuge and Hope was looking to start a weekly worship service for the students to attend.  I volunteered to help get that started.  We did worship, gave a message, and prayed.  With students from many different cultures and beliefs, attending worship was encouraged, but never required.  After a few weeks we had a fairly steady group of about 20 people attending, many of whom were not believers.  Praise the Lord!  Throughout the year we changed the format a bit, but it still remains a place where people who are seeking can go and learn.  It has been amazing to see God move and stir hearts of those same students I taught English to each week.  What started as a volunteer teaching job became a ministry greater than I could have ever predicted.

Outside of the Centre of Hope we met for a sports class.  I hung with the ladies and we worked on basketball and volleyball skills.  Many of the sports students were those same students who sat in my classroom and attended weekly worship.  One day, during a silly game of volleyball one of my students (we'll call her Sandy for her protection) collapsed in immense pain.  As she laid there crying I held her hand and did my best to communicate with the others to try and figure out what was going on.  I gathered from her family members that this was a common occurrence and she'd be fine in a few minutes.  A few of them shrugged it off, but a few looked very concerned.  Volleyball ended right then and there and I asked her if I could take her back to the Centre of Hope.

With a couple of her sisters and a friend, Sandy and I left the sports field and went back to the Centre.  One of Sandy's friends speaks very good English and was able to translate for me.  After hearing more of the symptoms, I made the decision to take Sandy to the clinic.  After she got permission from her mom and I let Refuge and Hope know, we were on our way to the clinic.  American culture dictates that we see a doctor if we sneeze too many times... in Sandy's culture doctors are not visited very frequently and there are specific stipulations that go along with a doctor's visit.  Not to mention that going to the doctor means needing money, but when you have 15 brothers and sisters that money needs to go towards food.

We spent about 4 hours at the clinic that day... many tests were run on one very nervous and uncomfortable Sandy.  I held her hand, wiped her tears, and prayed over her during that long 4 hour stay at the clinic.  My ministry account (thanks to awesome supporters) was able to pay for the visit and the medicine.  Sandy had been suffering for a long time, months and months in fact.  Her diagnosis could have eventually led to something much more serious, but thankfully the medicine worked and she is pain free.

Thanks to Refuge and Hope, an opportunity to teach turned into an opportunity to share Truth, build a strong, trusting relationship, and even cure an ailment that could have turned to something life threatening.  Sandy is healthy and she holds a very special place in my heart.  The day before I left Uganda I spent time with Sandy and her family.  I had been to their house many times and always very much loved my time spent there.  I was well accepted into their family, highly honored to be one of many daughters.  Leaving that home that day, saying goodbye to my family, not knowing when and if I'd ever see them again was one of the hardest things I've ever done.  We exchanged gifts that will eventually fade away.  We laughed.  We shed MANY tears.  My continued prayer is that -- despite the challenges that could lay ahead for Sandy and her family if they choose become believers -- they would boldly approach the throne of grace and surrender their lives.  I look forward to the day when I receive the news of my brothers and sisters choosing eternity... and I look forward to dancing in heaven along side them forever.

The stories like the one I've shared about Sandy are countless as a result of the ministries that God has given Refuge and Hope International.  I love Sandy and my life has been changed by the opportunity to serve her and her family.  This Valentine's Day would you consider making a $14 monthly donation to Refuge and Hope International on behalf of your Valentine or someone that you love?  Any donation made helps keep Refuge and Hope ministries like the Centre of Hope up and running so that we can continue to see the Kingdom being forwarded and lives changed.  $14 a month will change a student's life this year.  I'm excited to report back to you and share with you how God has changed a life because YOU said "yes" to Him.

Please click here to make a tax-deductible donation to Refuge and Hope International and to check out the other ministries of this fantastic organization.

I'm Responsible

Sweet Relief

My heart's relief tonight...

'Tis So Sweet

'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
And to take Him at His word
Just to rest upon His promise
And to know, "thus says the Lord"

Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him
How I've proved Him o're and o're
Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus
O for grace to trust Him more

O how sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to trust His cleansing blood
And in simple faith to plunge me
'Neath the healing, cleansing flood

Yes, 'tis sweet to trust in Jesus
Just from sin and self to cease
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace

I'm so glad I learned to trust Jesus
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend
And I know that Thou art with me
Wilt be with me to the end

Slow going...

Life moves pretty slowly when you don't have a job... or a car... or any money. Weird how that works isn't it? Sitting at home doing nothing all day everyday tends to take a toll on a person, both physically and mentally. I imagine for some it sounds like a dream... it did to me at first considering I hadn't slept in 6 weeks. Well I'm over it. I'm bored!! It's hard to have any kind of normal schedule when you have nothing to do. It's also hard to be motivated to do anything consistently, like study for the GRE. I'm scheduled to take the test this week, but am considering postponing so I can study a bit more.

The one thing I do have to look forward to each week is youth group. This past week I taught and it was fantastic to have something to research and plan for. I love teaching biblical lessons and what made it even more special for me was that I invited my brother and he agreed to go with me! The best part of the whole night was on the drive back to his place, he asked if I would pick him up next week.  He had a good time... and how could he not??  I have some awesome youth kids!  So that's a major prayer request right now.

The other thing I've done a bit of is job hunting.  Last week I had a second interview with a fantastic church that I really like for a full time director of student ministries.  I'm not a good judge of how interviews go so I'm not sure what to expect.  I do, however trust Jesus so I'm not too worried.  I've sent my resume to a few other places,  but we'll see.

In other news I'm excited to head over to Indiana in a couple of weekends to hang out with the youth kids from Fishers.  I will be forever grateful to my mom for letting me use her car on the weekends and for youth group.  Nothing like support from the family when you have absolutely nothing.

I miss my students, friends, and family in Africa.  A lot.  So, that's what's going on here these days.