IL, NJ, UG and Everywhere

A strange thing happened when I got in my car on December 23rd.  It was all packed up, dog vomit-proofed and we were about 20 minutes from the house when I was overcome with a sadness.  Not like, "I need to cry for 20 minutes and then I'll be good" sadness.  More like, "as much as I long to be in Chicago right now, I don't want to leave" sadness.  It was such a weird feeling considering how much thought and preparation I put into making sure I could be home for Christmas Eve with extended family and Christmas morning with the girls.

 I thought for sure it would subside the farther from NJ I got, but it didn't, it just intensified.  Actually, it was really annoying because it was killing the whole fun, adrenaline, anxiety of going to Illinois.  My nieces didn't know I was coming early and I was looking forward to surprising them... at least I thought I was.  By the time I got into Ohio, I had had enough.  I began to pray and ask God to help me sort through what was going on.

He began to show me, walking me through my life, that I had always made myself at home wherever I went.  That wasn't news to me.  I've even written on here about my somewhat transient lifestyle.  But what He was showing me was how extremely blessed I am to have so many places to call "home."  So many places where I'm comfortable and surrounded by people I love.  Even more than that though, He reminded me that since this world isn't my permanent home, He has enabled my heart to make everywhere home.  I'm not sure that I have effectively communicated that, but I'm not really sure how else to put it.  It was an awesome reassurance of His presence and power, no matter where my physical location.  God has always made a way and it's not been easy in the least, but what an amazing feeling, to have my heart so spread out.

When I got back in my car to come back to NJ, I felt the same sadness, but this time I rejoiced.  I had had a wonderful time with my beloved family and even though it's hard to leave, I was ready to be back here with this family.  Walking through my door here, to a house (and cat) that had been so lovingly cared for by dear friends made my heart happy.  And of course the reunion here was so sweet.

Within 2 days of being home I was told about a Ugandan Kid's choir concert that was only about 10 minutes from my house.  Talk about wanting to go home!  There are times when just I ache for Africa... longing to be "home."  What an interesting few weeks of such mixed emotions.  The concert was during youth group, so myself and a couple of my leaders took the kids and headed over.  I was bursting at the seams with excitement.  Seriously though, it was hard to contain.  I couldn't wait for everyone here to get to experience just a tiny, tiny bit of the place that brings my heart so much joy.

As soon as the first song started, so did my tears.  I was overwhelmed with joy to hear "Jabulani," a song that I've both sung and heard many, MANY times.

Thankfully I was sitting in front of my kids, so they didn't have to experience how overcome with emotion I was.  :)  The choir was fantastic!  I WISH I had their energy.  To see their faces and watch how excited they were to worship God was incredible.  Their love for the Lord was more than obvious... it radiated off of every part of their bodies.  I don't think I stopped smiling the entire time.  After the concert, my kids had the opportunity to greet the choir and get a picture with them which was really cool.  I even told them how to say "thank you" in Luganda and the choir was shocked and thrilled to respond in their native language.

Honestly, it felt like a gift from God as I prepare to head to Uganda in a few weeks.  I can't wait to be there, reunited with yet another branch of my family!

Though sometimes it's really hard to be in any one of the many places I call "home," I feel extremely blessed that Jesus has given me so much.  To be a part of the Body of Christ is to have a place anywhere and everywhere.  What a comfort knowing that wherever God places me or sends me, I'm home because I'm His.

The icing on the cake this week was reading this quote on a friend's page... "You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere.  That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place." -Miriam Adeney

Thank You, Jesus.