I haven't updated this week because I'm having a bit of writer's block. So much has happened in the last week and half, and so many times I've thought, "this would be good to share," but I've got nothing. This always happens when I'm working on new songs. If I'm song writing, my other writing suffers. Oh well, I'm ok with it.
This week has gone well... extremely fast because I've been extremely busy. My weeks always start off looking empty, but they always end up being totally booked up. Because of my schedule, I don't have much of a life outside of church these days. Aside from some loneliness creeping in, I'm ok with my it. All things youth seem to be going really well. I love my kids. The young adults have been fantastic and I'm really enjoying our very colorful discussions. It's been really great to work with them.
I'm still adjusting to life in Jersey. I still have to explain what pop is about once or twice a week. East coast cars aren't built with cruise control... that, or people don't know how to use it. The left lane should be the fast lane, but I guess no one here got that memo. In Chicago, turn signals never turn off, here people just don't use them at all. I don't know which I despise more. People here drink wudder instead of water... I'm not sure the school system is teaching correctly. Maybe once I'm a sub I can actually make a difference. I think most of the crickets on earth are in this area... and I think they're here just because I'm paralyzed with fear by the mere sound of them. There are about 5 or 6 in my basement right now which means my laundry is not getting done. Thus is the life of a single girl. Moving on...
Since I can't really remember all of the things I've been wanting to share, I'm going to tell you a story from my day.
This morning when I arrived at work, the first thing I noticed was that there was about 3 little piles of poop. Yes, you read that correctly. Poop. While I normally think poop is quite funny, it's a different story when it's all around your office. The piles were kind of in a line coming from the window where the air conditioner is located. Looking at the window, I saw that the make-shift side that had been placed there to close the gap between the wall and the air conditioning unit had been knocked away. Seeing as though my office windows are at ground level, my first thought was that a squirrel had made it way in, pooped, found no food, and left.
So someone came and resealed the gap as I continued to work. I happened to be working on stenciling words onto the wall, which meant I was on a ladder about 80% of the day. Being a little jumpy, not knowing if the animal was gone or if it was going to jump out and scare me off the ladder, I tried to remind myself to keep steady. Once of twice a fly landed on the overhead projector I was using and nearly caused me to jump ship, but in the end I was able to keep from being startled down.
I leave the office a bit early on Thursdays because I have to be there for about 3 hours in the evening. I got home around 3, went on a 2 mile walk with Piper, dusted the downstairs, did the dishes, and cooked an early dinner. When I got back to the church at 6, my desk was a mess. Things had been knocked over, paper was askew, and yes, there was more poop. This time the poop was all over my desk... right next to my computer, in my African basket with the paper in it, on my transparencies with some names of God on them. How rude, right?
So I sent an email and within an hour someone was there with a live trap. He set the trap and will come back and check it before I go into work tomorrow. Hopefully the little pooper is caught and gone by the time I go in. If not, I'll be on high alert as I spend tomorrow on the ladder again. I just hope I don't have to clean up more little gifts from it. Although, it does remind me of getting to my classroom every morning in Uganda and finding lots and lots of lizard and bat poop everywhere. It's a memory you'd think I would try to block out, but a memory of my time in Africa is always something I'm thankful for. The end.
Speaking of Africa, I get to share about my time there tomorrow evening. I'm really looking forward to sharing such a huge part of who I am with my church family. It has very much shaped the person I am today. Moyo wangu ni kuna. Afrika mimi nakupenda.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Musicianship
Thank you. It's very obvious that you all prayed and I'm very appreciative! This week was SO different from last week. For starters, I didn't nearly break my foot. (My foot is still quite sore, especially since I haven't had time for rest, but it will heal!) That's a win in my book. Once again, I found myself busy every day and every evening. Little things always turn into big things. A "small" project takes, what seems like forever sometimes. BUT all in all it was a good week. It seemed like meetings went well and were productive. Lessons were well planned out. Both kids and adults showed up to play paintball and for youth group. Personally, I had some very sweet times with Jesus and though the enemy tried pretty hard to bring me down, it just wasn't happening this week. I was even able to drive up to North Jersey and see my friend/Uganda roomie who will be moving to Uganda permanently soon. It was very much a blessing to see her and catch up.
This past Thursday night I was invited to a Tenth Avenue North concert. I'm always up for a free concert, so of course I went. It was nice to have a night away! For those who don't know, Tenth Ave is a Christian band. They've become increasingly popular over the past few years. I'm sure that if you listen to Christian radio you're familiar with their music. They are a very big deal to people around here because one of the band members is from here and I believe he grew up going to Delanco (the camp I've been involved with here).
We got to the show a bit early and as we waited for the doors to open we chatted a bit and were greeted by people who knew others in my group. Once we got to our seats, which were very close, we saw even more familiar faces. It was so strange and yet such a sweet gift to see people I recognize after only being here for 3 months.
The opening band was called Rend Collective Experiment. They're an Irish band and I'm pretty sure I've heard of them before, but Thursday night I was blown away by their performance. Let me preface this by saying that I'm generally pretty critical of musicians. Not only am I classically trained, but I love music theory and I've been in some sort of band constantly for the past 15 years. I can hear when the harmony is off, when a guitar is out of tune, or when the drummer speeds up.
Rend Collective Experiment was amazing. It was difficult to take my eyes off the stage while they were worshiping. The passion that was exuding from each musician was blatant. They were having a blast doing what they clearly love to do and drawing us into worship. Beyond that though, I have never heard a live performance that was so spot on and nearly perfect in my whole life. I was so mesmerized by them, my focus was completely on the music and the pure, stunning sounds that were being lifted to God. Every note was crisp. The harmonies were intricate and perfect. I'm completely blown away by their extraordinary skill and obvious love of music. They each seemed to play multiple instruments too (and NOT common instruments either!). It's so rare to see such a group with such amazing musicianship. I've seen other bands live who do a great job, but they don't even compare. Maybe it's because I was there to worship God, but it was just so darn easy to lift my hands to the One who created the earth while I was surrounded by such beauty. I am not sure that I've ever heard another earthly sound that was so pure and heavenly.
I've truly heard angels sing during times of worship before and those times were amazing, awe inspiring, and holy. This experience with Rend Collective Experiment is the closed I've come to hearing such amazing sounds again. It was incredible. If I wasn't broke, I'd have bought every piece of music they've ever recorded! I believe they're on iTunes... I encourage you to check them out. I'm not sure it will have the same effect as the live versions, but definitely worth it!
The second act was very good too. Her voice was very pure and she had amazing control. Then Tenth Ave came on. They were very good, high energy, and very genuine. Their passion for both Jesus and music is very evident. I was pleasantly surprised... not that I thought they'd be bad, but I'm just not as crazy about them as everyone else around here seems to be. I would definitely see them again and I thoroughly enjoyed hearing their stories and witnesses to how God has worked in their lives. Praise be to God!
Tonight at youth group as we looked at the creation account we decided that God is so kooky... in a good way of course. I'm excited to see what our kooky God has in store for this busy week ahead. Thanks again for praying with me last week. Please let me know how I can be praying for you!
Monday, September 10, 2012
Deeply Bruised, Not Defeated
Gather 'round, it's story time! Saturday I decided to try something new with Piper, my puppy. I wanted to see how much of a mess she would make if I left her in the kitchen with nothing on the floor instead of in her crate. So I picked up the recycle bin and put it on top of the garbage can. I put the little rug and case of water on one of the stools. There was nothing on the floor that she could get at to ruin if she didn't do well. I went over to work for a little while, building trees, getting ready for yesterday's first youth group of the school year. I was only there for about 45 minutes before I began to feel nervous about her being home. Walking through the door, I was pleased to see that there weren't any little surprises for me to clean up. Success!
This was the absolute LAST thing I wanted to deal with after a very challenging week. In that simple action, it became exceedingly obvious that satan was going to do everything he could in order to stop youth group from taking place. Sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, super annoyed and feeling a bit defeated, I said aloud, "Youth group is going to happen!! In the name of Jesus, it's going to happen. You don't win." So not only did I look ridiculous because I was sitting in the middle of the floor, but I also looked nuts because I was seemingly talking to myself. On top of that, Piper was all up in my grill because she obviously knew I was hurting.
Not wanting to push my luck, Piper joined me at work. She loves to be in the youth room. She hops from couch to couch, finds bugs, eats them, and brings them to me, and she has a special place where she likes to sleep. It didn't take much longer to finish the trees, look over my lesson, and get a few other things in order. It was just about dinner time for the puppy anyways. So we got home, I fed the dog, let her out, played with her, and then started cooking my dinner. Then it happened.
Wanting to throw something away, I moved the recycle bin back to floor so I could get at the garbage can. Well apparently in doing so, the fire extinguisher hanging on the wall was bumped and jumped off, right down onto the top of my foot. My immediate thought was, "oh crap, it's broken... now I'm gonna have to sit at the ER all by myself which is going to take forever!!" A bit dramatic, I know.
This was the absolute LAST thing I wanted to deal with after a very challenging week. In that simple action, it became exceedingly obvious that satan was going to do everything he could in order to stop youth group from taking place. Sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, super annoyed and feeling a bit defeated, I said aloud, "Youth group is going to happen!! In the name of Jesus, it's going to happen. You don't win." So not only did I look ridiculous because I was sitting in the middle of the floor, but I also looked nuts because I was seemingly talking to myself. On top of that, Piper was all up in my grill because she obviously knew I was hurting.
My next move was to get some prayer warriors on it. I called Trent, in Indiana and simply asked for prayer. He said he'd pray and get others on it too. Next I just decided that life needed to go on. I wasn't going to sit in the ER on a Saturday night alone, so I finished cooking dinner. Just before I finished cooking a church member called about something completely unrelated. We chatted for a few and then I asked her to pray. She offered to go to the hospital with me, but I refused and instead went over and watched a movie with her. It was swollen and bruised but the pain was manageable, so I figured life would go on.
The next day, Sunday was booked solid for me. I was at church by 7:45am and was only home for about an hour during the day before finally getting home at 9 last night. After that long of a day my foot was not happy. I had been told by numerous people that I should really go get it an x-ray. I wouldn't have agreed to go at all if my mom hadn't pointed out that I had a broken bone in my foot that I ignored my freshman year of high school... I later had to have surgery on my foot to repair the damage. That recovery was the big suck, so this morning when I woke up I decided I'd go have it looked at (although it really didn't look that bad to me today).
The end result? A "deep bone bruise." The doctor gave me this ridiculous looking shoe thing to help keep weight off of it... it was that or use a cain. I may be getting old, but I'm NOT using a cain for a bruise! How silly. When I got home the shoe was off within about an hour. It's too big and it looks so dramatic for something so small. I googled bone bruises and learned that they might feel like fractures and take a long time to heal properly. Duh. The doc said I had to wear the shoe thing for at least a week, but he definitely made it seem like that was just for my own comfort. I was also told to rest, no sports or exercise. Um, yeah right. I have a 5 month old puppy who drives me nuts if she doesn't get energy out on a walk.
So, on our walk tonight (wearing normal shoes, I might add) I began to feel the repercussions of my choices... quite a bit of pain throbbing through my foot. My foot may be sore, but I refuse to stop life because of it.
This past week, I was beaten up. I was bruised badly by the evil one through a few different sources and situations. There were so many times when I just wanted to lay down and admit defeat. It reminded me a lot of the last year I spent in Africa. As you know, I was sick or injured in some way almost the entire year that I was gone. It gets old, very quickly. How discouraging, right? However, God sustained me last year. I was never so badly beaten that I couldn't move forward in ministry. His strength sustains. My joy can't be stolen, Jesus has won, once and for ALL. How beautiful that the Holy Spirit battles on our behalf! Thank you, God.
I'll leave you with 2 short passages that have encouraged me lately.
"And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Romans 8:26-28
"We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.
We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies." 2 Corinthians 4:7-10
"We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.
We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies." 2 Corinthians 4:7-10
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Temporary Home
My roommate while in Uganda and very dear friend, Jean drove down here from North Jersey last Thursday so we could head to a wedding of one of our other Uganda roommates in Indiana for the weekend. Laughter ensued almost immediately as we reunited, talked about Africa, and shared a meal. My heart was overwhelmed with joy, reminiscing in the memories of a place that has forever ruined me (ruined me in the best way possible). The next morning we left my house by 6am to start our safari, journey, to Indiana, which included a stop in PA to pick up one of our former students in Uganda.
The road trip really began after our brief stop in PA. The three of us laughed, listened to good music, good comedy, and just enjoyed each other's presence. It was beautiful. Once we crossed into Ohio, my heart was anxious and ready to be in Indiana. For so long it was a place of intense pain, although it was mixed with great joy because of the youth kids there.
The pain that was once crippling is gone and now there's such freedom that I simply couldn't wait to be there, in a place I called home for so many years during and after college. Crossing into Indiana was beyond exciting! After being in the car ALL day, I was ready to see my friend and be somewhere so familiar it's like being all the way home. As we approached my friend's house, my head was pounding. I simply thought it was due to over excitement and a looooong car ride.
After we got settled in, we went out for dinner and then to an ice cream place owned by some people we know from the church there. Towards the end of dinner I could tell that something wasn't right; I was feeling super hot and a little bit weak. Weird because I don't get sick often. By the time we got to the ice cream place I was ready to be home. I couldn't even eat my ice cream and it was obvious that I had a fever.
What a way to begin the week which, by the way, was way over booked in order to see as many people as possible! I prayed and asked others to pray, went to the pharmacy and got some meds, and we went home. I did my best to suck it up and have a good time regardless of how I was feeling. The girls and I were exhausted from the drive anyways, so we all just kind of chilled and played a game. At about 1am, I was definitely ready to sleep and the others were already in bed or getting ready for bed. So we ended the game and went to bed. I was so hot and uncomfortable that I hardly slept at all that night. It was one of those nights where I kept looking at the clock, thinking about how much time I had left before I had to get up. Ugh!
So the next day I still wasn't feeling well and now I was exhausted as well. We went about our day as scheduled. The girls met up with someone else from Uganda while my friend and I met up with a friend from college. It was lovely, of course. By the time we got home, it was time to get ready for the wedding that was that evening. We got ready and drove the hour and a half to the venue. I still wasn't feeling awesome, but definitely better than the night before.
My nerves were on high alert as we tried to get there on time and as I thought about the people I'd be reuniting with that evening. The ceremony was perfect. It was outdoors at the home of the bride on a beautiful little pond in the middle of nowhere, Indiana. The weather didn't cooperate so well and it rained during the ceremony, but it was perfect because the bride and groom didn't care. People brought out some umbrellas and they continued as if nothing were wrong. Immediately my mind I was thinking about how awful my hair was going to look once it fro-ed out, but as I watched the couple standing there, embracing the weather I did too. I've been to a lot of weddings where a lot of brides would have panicked in a similar situation, but as we lifted out voices in worship to the Lord, nothing else mattered but bringing Him glory. It was a little glimpse of heaven.
The reception was fantastic and we had a blast! I thoroughly enjoyed seeing so many people I had only seen in Uganda before. What a joy to celebrate in America together and get caught up on life after serving in Uganda. There was no discord, only joy and peace. Thanks be to God. I count myself blessed to know such a loving, servant-hearted group of people who desire to further God's kingdom in all that they do!
We got home late that evening, but I wanted to take advantage of the short time I had with my Indiana friend. Instead of going to bed we went out and got dessert and then stayed up until about 2 playing a game. Around 3:30 I finally drifted off to sleep, only to wake up at 7 to get ready for church. We went to church where I was greeted by some youth kids that I just love so dearly. I didn't know that a few of them were even in town, as they're college students right now... what a sweet surprise. It was awesome to reconnect with the church family there... a place that's been so familiar for the 5.5 years, since my friend has worked there. I've been blessed to know these kids and watch them grow from middle school to college. What an extreme honor to be a part of such a group.
After church we all went out to lunch and hung out for a while before the girls and I got back on the road to come home. The ride back was not nearly as fun as the ride out. I was very ready to be home after not sleeping for so long. Our conversation was good as we tried to keep each other awake. After dropping our student off in PA, we got home around 1am. I played with with my puppy until about 2 before feeling so exhausted that I didn't think I would even make it upstairs. I woke up at 9 or 10 with plans to go back to sleep as soon as I took care of the dog.
All in all it was a fantastic weekend. Laughing until tears flow is one of my favorite things to do... and it happened a LOT. Beyond the laughter, the sweet times, good conversations, and memories with everyone I was able to see is what I'm most thankful for.
It was a bit strange to be just one state away from home and to not see my family. My brain naturally goes west when I'm leaving my friend's apartment. I wouldn't say it was hard to go east because this place has quickly become home, but it was just different. It's so interesting how engrained certain things become... how much creatures of habit we actually are.
I miss hugging my nieces, playing, painting nails,, singing, and putting them to bed. I miss seeing them everyday, watching them grow, hearing their little voices as they learn new words and concepts. I miss my brother, sister, brother-in-law, and my parents. Today I'm resting in the assurance that this is where I've been called, that this is my home for now. This world is only my temporary home, anyways. :)
I'll leave you with a quote that I love by Louie Giglio from his book "i am not, but i know I AM"...
Simply because He wanted to, He fashioned each of us to His own image, creating within us the capacity to know Him. And if that wasn't staggering enough, in spite of our foolishness and rebellious hearts, God has pursued us with relentless passion and patience, fully expressing to us His unfathomable love through the mercy and grace of the cross of His Son, Jesus Christ."
Amen.
The road trip really began after our brief stop in PA. The three of us laughed, listened to good music, good comedy, and just enjoyed each other's presence. It was beautiful. Once we crossed into Ohio, my heart was anxious and ready to be in Indiana. For so long it was a place of intense pain, although it was mixed with great joy because of the youth kids there.
The pain that was once crippling is gone and now there's such freedom that I simply couldn't wait to be there, in a place I called home for so many years during and after college. Crossing into Indiana was beyond exciting! After being in the car ALL day, I was ready to see my friend and be somewhere so familiar it's like being all the way home. As we approached my friend's house, my head was pounding. I simply thought it was due to over excitement and a looooong car ride.
After we got settled in, we went out for dinner and then to an ice cream place owned by some people we know from the church there. Towards the end of dinner I could tell that something wasn't right; I was feeling super hot and a little bit weak. Weird because I don't get sick often. By the time we got to the ice cream place I was ready to be home. I couldn't even eat my ice cream and it was obvious that I had a fever.
What a way to begin the week which, by the way, was way over booked in order to see as many people as possible! I prayed and asked others to pray, went to the pharmacy and got some meds, and we went home. I did my best to suck it up and have a good time regardless of how I was feeling. The girls and I were exhausted from the drive anyways, so we all just kind of chilled and played a game. At about 1am, I was definitely ready to sleep and the others were already in bed or getting ready for bed. So we ended the game and went to bed. I was so hot and uncomfortable that I hardly slept at all that night. It was one of those nights where I kept looking at the clock, thinking about how much time I had left before I had to get up. Ugh!
So the next day I still wasn't feeling well and now I was exhausted as well. We went about our day as scheduled. The girls met up with someone else from Uganda while my friend and I met up with a friend from college. It was lovely, of course. By the time we got home, it was time to get ready for the wedding that was that evening. We got ready and drove the hour and a half to the venue. I still wasn't feeling awesome, but definitely better than the night before.
My nerves were on high alert as we tried to get there on time and as I thought about the people I'd be reuniting with that evening. The ceremony was perfect. It was outdoors at the home of the bride on a beautiful little pond in the middle of nowhere, Indiana. The weather didn't cooperate so well and it rained during the ceremony, but it was perfect because the bride and groom didn't care. People brought out some umbrellas and they continued as if nothing were wrong. Immediately my mind I was thinking about how awful my hair was going to look once it fro-ed out, but as I watched the couple standing there, embracing the weather I did too. I've been to a lot of weddings where a lot of brides would have panicked in a similar situation, but as we lifted out voices in worship to the Lord, nothing else mattered but bringing Him glory. It was a little glimpse of heaven.
The reception was fantastic and we had a blast! I thoroughly enjoyed seeing so many people I had only seen in Uganda before. What a joy to celebrate in America together and get caught up on life after serving in Uganda. There was no discord, only joy and peace. Thanks be to God. I count myself blessed to know such a loving, servant-hearted group of people who desire to further God's kingdom in all that they do!
We got home late that evening, but I wanted to take advantage of the short time I had with my Indiana friend. Instead of going to bed we went out and got dessert and then stayed up until about 2 playing a game. Around 3:30 I finally drifted off to sleep, only to wake up at 7 to get ready for church. We went to church where I was greeted by some youth kids that I just love so dearly. I didn't know that a few of them were even in town, as they're college students right now... what a sweet surprise. It was awesome to reconnect with the church family there... a place that's been so familiar for the 5.5 years, since my friend has worked there. I've been blessed to know these kids and watch them grow from middle school to college. What an extreme honor to be a part of such a group.
After church we all went out to lunch and hung out for a while before the girls and I got back on the road to come home. The ride back was not nearly as fun as the ride out. I was very ready to be home after not sleeping for so long. Our conversation was good as we tried to keep each other awake. After dropping our student off in PA, we got home around 1am. I played with with my puppy until about 2 before feeling so exhausted that I didn't think I would even make it upstairs. I woke up at 9 or 10 with plans to go back to sleep as soon as I took care of the dog.
All in all it was a fantastic weekend. Laughing until tears flow is one of my favorite things to do... and it happened a LOT. Beyond the laughter, the sweet times, good conversations, and memories with everyone I was able to see is what I'm most thankful for.
It was a bit strange to be just one state away from home and to not see my family. My brain naturally goes west when I'm leaving my friend's apartment. I wouldn't say it was hard to go east because this place has quickly become home, but it was just different. It's so interesting how engrained certain things become... how much creatures of habit we actually are.
I miss hugging my nieces, playing, painting nails,, singing, and putting them to bed. I miss seeing them everyday, watching them grow, hearing their little voices as they learn new words and concepts. I miss my brother, sister, brother-in-law, and my parents. Today I'm resting in the assurance that this is where I've been called, that this is my home for now. This world is only my temporary home, anyways. :)
I'll leave you with a quote that I love by Louie Giglio from his book "i am not, but i know I AM"...
Simply because He wanted to, He fashioned each of us to His own image, creating within us the capacity to know Him. And if that wasn't staggering enough, in spite of our foolishness and rebellious hearts, God has pursued us with relentless passion and patience, fully expressing to us His unfathomable love through the mercy and grace of the cross of His Son, Jesus Christ."
Amen.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Would You Run??
This morning at worship the sermon was based on Jesus feeding the 5,000. The astounding nature of this beautiful miracle has always outweighed the surrounding events in my mind. I'd never thought much about what that actual picture looked like.
Jesus was nearly never alone during the time of His ministry. From day break to night fall He was surrounded by people. If not only His disciples, crowds of hundreds of thousands of people. These people followed Him EVERYWHERE. So to get a minute away from the crowd and get to the other side of the Sea of Galilee to continue teaching, baptizing, healing, etc., Jesus and the disciples hop in a boat. If nothing more than to have a moment of peace as they made their way across. The Sea of Galilee is only about 4 miles wide... at the northern point where this was taking place, it may even be less than that. Regardless, a sailboat doesn't move at quite the speed of our modern day boats, so that time it took to get across was a time of rest and I'm sure, rejuvenation.
By the time they reached the shore, the crowd was already nearly upon them. There wasn't much down time. Then the story goes into the actual feeding of the 5,000 men (plus 10,000-15,000 women and children).
But something I hadn't thought of before was the desperation of the crowd. No matter their motivation, whether selfish or selfless, the crowd was desperate to be near Jesus. They longed to hear the words He spoke. They desired just to touch a piece of His clothing that they might be healed from their physical ailments. They got around the northern point of the Sea of Galilee, to the other side, by any means that they could. I have a feeling some followed by boat. Others dragged their crippled bodies. And I believe some flat out sprinted. I believe their desire to be near Him was so great that they didn't care about the physical pain or exhaustion... they ran as fast as they could. Wouldn't you? My answer is a loud, resounding YES!!!!
There's not much that motivates me to run, but I think given the chance, I'd run until I puked (which you all know is the WORST thing that could happen to me) just to be next to Jesus. Just to hear Him speak, see His face, see first-hand His overwhelming love for me, I'd run. Or would I? I'd like to think I would. As I let my mind wander and think over the extraordinary motivation of seeing Christ face to face, my answer is still yes.
However, I'm no runner (um, duh!)... in fact I really dislike it, especially now with the torn ligament in my knee. Struggling with the desire to be active and the act of actually getting active and healthy have always been two separate things. Worldly motivation only lasts for so long and then I get bored or I get discouraged and quit. But this morning, in the sanctuary and EUM I wanted nothing more than to be able run to Jesus. To sprint, just to be near Him. If that's not motivation to be healthy, I don't know what is!
Those in the crowd who were able (had two healthy legs, no condition keeping them from running) must have felt jubilant! I have two legs that work properly. My knee will be fine and I have the advantage of a knee brace to keep it stable. Why haven't I been running?
So my question for you today is... what would you do to get to Jesus? To make sure you were on the other side when He reached there, so as not to miss a moment with Him? What would keep you from running? How can you get rid of those hindrances?
Somehow on a similar topic... this afternoon, I was walking home from a church member's house and I was thinking about how amazingly blessed I am. Here's my "things I'm grateful for/of list" of the day:
Jesus was nearly never alone during the time of His ministry. From day break to night fall He was surrounded by people. If not only His disciples, crowds of hundreds of thousands of people. These people followed Him EVERYWHERE. So to get a minute away from the crowd and get to the other side of the Sea of Galilee to continue teaching, baptizing, healing, etc., Jesus and the disciples hop in a boat. If nothing more than to have a moment of peace as they made their way across. The Sea of Galilee is only about 4 miles wide... at the northern point where this was taking place, it may even be less than that. Regardless, a sailboat doesn't move at quite the speed of our modern day boats, so that time it took to get across was a time of rest and I'm sure, rejuvenation.
By the time they reached the shore, the crowd was already nearly upon them. There wasn't much down time. Then the story goes into the actual feeding of the 5,000 men (plus 10,000-15,000 women and children).
But something I hadn't thought of before was the desperation of the crowd. No matter their motivation, whether selfish or selfless, the crowd was desperate to be near Jesus. They longed to hear the words He spoke. They desired just to touch a piece of His clothing that they might be healed from their physical ailments. They got around the northern point of the Sea of Galilee, to the other side, by any means that they could. I have a feeling some followed by boat. Others dragged their crippled bodies. And I believe some flat out sprinted. I believe their desire to be near Him was so great that they didn't care about the physical pain or exhaustion... they ran as fast as they could. Wouldn't you? My answer is a loud, resounding YES!!!!
There's not much that motivates me to run, but I think given the chance, I'd run until I puked (which you all know is the WORST thing that could happen to me) just to be next to Jesus. Just to hear Him speak, see His face, see first-hand His overwhelming love for me, I'd run. Or would I? I'd like to think I would. As I let my mind wander and think over the extraordinary motivation of seeing Christ face to face, my answer is still yes.
However, I'm no runner (um, duh!)... in fact I really dislike it, especially now with the torn ligament in my knee. Struggling with the desire to be active and the act of actually getting active and healthy have always been two separate things. Worldly motivation only lasts for so long and then I get bored or I get discouraged and quit. But this morning, in the sanctuary and EUM I wanted nothing more than to be able run to Jesus. To sprint, just to be near Him. If that's not motivation to be healthy, I don't know what is!
Those in the crowd who were able (had two healthy legs, no condition keeping them from running) must have felt jubilant! I have two legs that work properly. My knee will be fine and I have the advantage of a knee brace to keep it stable. Why haven't I been running?
So my question for you today is... what would you do to get to Jesus? To make sure you were on the other side when He reached there, so as not to miss a moment with Him? What would keep you from running? How can you get rid of those hindrances?
Somehow on a similar topic... this afternoon, I was walking home from a church member's house and I was thinking about how amazingly blessed I am. Here's my "things I'm grateful for/of list" of the day:
- Jesus
- I have a supportive family
- I have two working legs
- I can walk/run
- Nieces who leave adorable voicemails
- I am a part of a church who's members open their homes (and their fenced in yards for Piper)
- Good face to face conversations with new friends
- Good phone conversations with old friends
- I'm loved and cared for
- Flocking flamingos and dedicated youth
- Good health
- Skype with old youth kids, keeping relationships going
- I have plenty of food and and a good shelter
- A reliable car
- Supportive/enthusiastic church leadership
- The ability to sing and play guitar, worship God freely, and share with others
- Being woken up at 4:44am just to pray for some dear ones
- I'm literate (seems so obvious, but I have friends who aren't)
- I'm educated
The list could go on and on, but in the interest of time and attention spans, I'll stop there.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Forever Changed
4 years ago I started my time as a teacher at Heritage International School in Uganda. Little did I know I would meet people within the first few weeks of my time who would change my life. I had seen them at the school before classes started, their guardians getting them all registered. They were scrawny little guys with very dark chocolate skin, and bright, shiny, hopeful eyes. Within the first week of school, my friend Nick was asked to hang out with the them while their guardians went back to the States for a few weeks.
We had a random holiday in the middle of the 2nd or 3rd week of school. Nick asked myself and my roommate to come hang out with him and the guys. We went with Nick to pick them up and then 6 of us (one of the other guys came too) headed to the beach to play volleyball and football (soccer). The boys were pretty quiet and a bit reserved. We played volleyball for a few hours before getting some dinner... and some sodas which was a treat! While sitting around the table just off the shore of Lake Victoria, the guys began to open up a bit. They answered my never-ending line of questions with their low English skills, smiling all the while. The boys were so sweet and thoughtful, very obedient and helpful.
From that point on, I hung out with Lino and Angelo every now and then. I saw them at school everyday, playing basketball with them during their lunch hour. Then came the fall retreat for the high schoolers. I was asked to help lead worship and come as a chaperone. On that retreat, Lino kept to himself quite a bit so I made it a point to go and sit with him while all the other kids were swimming or socializing. Some times we didn't speak much, other times once Lino got going, there was no stopping him. I learned many "African-English" phrases pretty quickly. I think he enjoyed trying to explain his English to me and laughing at me when I just didn't get it. A friendship was being formed, trust being built.
Unfortunately their story, though amazing and incredibly difficult, is not unlike many from boys their age from their area. I slowly got bits and pieces of their story as time went on.
Lino got sick on November 9th, 2008. I got the call during a prayer meeting. The next day, as soon as school ended I went to the hospital to see him. Aside from his amazing guardians, (now parents) Jade and Shelah, Nick and I were the only ones welcome to visit him. When he was finally able to go home, he still wasn't able to go to school. I made it my business to go and sit with him, help him with homework, hang out and watch movies. I "babysat" him, for lack of a better term when Jade and Shelah had things to do, as he couldn't be alone. Though it was really hard and mentally, emotionally, and spiritually draining, I feel very privileged to have seen him through some very, VERY scary times. There were days when he didn't say much of anything to anyone... but it always seemed like he was willing to talk to me.
As he got better and things went back to normal, or as normal as they get in Africa, I felt very bonded to the family. It wasn't uncommon to find me there in the evenings getting to know all of the guys Jade and Shelah sponsor.
Over that year I saw those guys go through a lot, more than I can say here, but I also saw them overcome a lot. Just the improvement in their English skills alone was amazing. I left Uganda in June of 2009, beyond sad and terrified that I wouldn't see them ever again. Quite a dramatic way of thinking, but when people and a place change you so irreversibly, it's hard to imagine not seeing them again. I got most of my emotions out before I landed in America and I had resolved that I was getting back to Uganda, one way or another, SOON. It had become apparent to me that God placed me in Uganda not only to teach that year, but to be someone that Lino could trust and feel comfortable with as he went through the illness. Who woulda thunk?
Thanks to facebook, email, and skype I was able to keep in touch while I was in the States. Upon returning to Uganda January, 2011, a lot had changed! The guys were no longer scrawny little guys, but young men, juniors in high school. Things went back to the way they left off, except that I didn't teach at the school this last time... I taught ESL at a refugee center, and worked with WGM Africa doing marketing. We went back to being good friends, hanging out, playing volleyball, and cooking yummy food. They allowed me to record each of their life stories (5 of the guys), 3 of whom are former child soldiers. I learned a LOT about Sundanese culture, general culture in East Africa, and thoughts on the outside world from their point of view.
When school started back up, Lino and Angelo were given the opportunity to go Canada for their senior year of high school. Not an opportunity to be passed up, they went. It was weird to say goodbye to them as they left Africa and I stayed, but I was proud of them.
When I got home in December last year, the guys were in Alabama on school holiday. I flew down there on New Years Eve, just 12 days after I had gotten home from Uganda. I spent about 4 days with them, Jade and Shelah, and their family. It was quite different seeing them here in the States, but what a blessing!
What brought on this blog post? Last night I talked to the guys on the phone for about an hour from their dorm room at college in Atlanta! It was crazy to think how much has happened in the last 4 years that I've known them... to see how much they've changed, how far they've come, and the type of men they are becoming. I'M SO PROUD OF THEM! I know their histories, I know where they've come from, and to see them where they are today is incredible. Jade and Shelah must be overwhelmed when they think about their journey with these guys. It's not been without struggles... dealing with teenage guys is no easy feat... and these boys are NO exception!
Would you join me in praying for these guys as they adjust to life at university, deal with classes, friends, temptations, etc.? Also, more importantly would you pray for their souls?
Africa by Paul Coleman Trio
Africa, I came to change you, but instead you changed me
And I confess, I came to frame in a photograph
But you showed me why
And you turned this heart around
And I see your smile, how it can be
So much brighter than me
And your silent eyes, they scream
Of hunger and meaning and eternal dreaming
Africa
Africa, we smiled at you from behind the glass
And without reserve and whiter than snow
You smiled back at us
And you showed me who
And you turned this mind around
And I see your hands reach out to God
So much higher than ours
And your silent eyes, they scream
Of hunger and meaning and eternal dreaming
Africa
Afrika mimi nakupenda
We had a random holiday in the middle of the 2nd or 3rd week of school. Nick asked myself and my roommate to come hang out with him and the guys. We went with Nick to pick them up and then 6 of us (one of the other guys came too) headed to the beach to play volleyball and football (soccer). The boys were pretty quiet and a bit reserved. We played volleyball for a few hours before getting some dinner... and some sodas which was a treat! While sitting around the table just off the shore of Lake Victoria, the guys began to open up a bit. They answered my never-ending line of questions with their low English skills, smiling all the while. The boys were so sweet and thoughtful, very obedient and helpful.
 |
| Lino and I with some other random dudes |
 |
| Jean, Saudi, Lino, Angelo, Nick, me |
 |
| Dinner and sodas near Lake Victoria |
 |
| Sitting and chatting around the pool. Photo bomb by Elijah. |
 |
| Bonfire on the last night of the retreat |
Lino got sick on November 9th, 2008. I got the call during a prayer meeting. The next day, as soon as school ended I went to the hospital to see him. Aside from his amazing guardians, (now parents) Jade and Shelah, Nick and I were the only ones welcome to visit him. When he was finally able to go home, he still wasn't able to go to school. I made it my business to go and sit with him, help him with homework, hang out and watch movies. I "babysat" him, for lack of a better term when Jade and Shelah had things to do, as he couldn't be alone. Though it was really hard and mentally, emotionally, and spiritually draining, I feel very privileged to have seen him through some very, VERY scary times. There were days when he didn't say much of anything to anyone... but it always seemed like he was willing to talk to me.
As he got better and things went back to normal, or as normal as they get in Africa, I felt very bonded to the family. It wasn't uncommon to find me there in the evenings getting to know all of the guys Jade and Shelah sponsor.
 |
| Some of the guys at our house for dinner |
 |
| Last youth group, Lino trying stilts for the 1st time |
Thanks to facebook, email, and skype I was able to keep in touch while I was in the States. Upon returning to Uganda January, 2011, a lot had changed! The guys were no longer scrawny little guys, but young men, juniors in high school. Things went back to the way they left off, except that I didn't teach at the school this last time... I taught ESL at a refugee center, and worked with WGM Africa doing marketing. We went back to being good friends, hanging out, playing volleyball, and cooking yummy food. They allowed me to record each of their life stories (5 of the guys), 3 of whom are former child soldiers. I learned a LOT about Sundanese culture, general culture in East Africa, and thoughts on the outside world from their point of view.
When school started back up, Lino and Angelo were given the opportunity to go Canada for their senior year of high school. Not an opportunity to be passed up, they went. It was weird to say goodbye to them as they left Africa and I stayed, but I was proud of them.
 |
| At their going away party before leaving for Canada |
 |
| At the movies in Birmingham |
Would you join me in praying for these guys as they adjust to life at university, deal with classes, friends, temptations, etc.? Also, more importantly would you pray for their souls?
Africa by Paul Coleman Trio
Africa, I came to change you, but instead you changed me
And I confess, I came to frame in a photograph
But you showed me why
And you turned this heart around
And I see your smile, how it can be
So much brighter than me
And your silent eyes, they scream
Of hunger and meaning and eternal dreaming
Africa
Africa, we smiled at you from behind the glass
And without reserve and whiter than snow
You smiled back at us
And you showed me who
And you turned this mind around
And I see your hands reach out to God
So much higher than ours
And your silent eyes, they scream
Of hunger and meaning and eternal dreaming
Africa
Afrika mimi nakupenda
Sunday, August 19, 2012
My Parents: My Heros
 |
| At Carley's wedding in '07 |
My dad is one of the strongest men I've ever met. In his younger days (high school, I believe) he was a gymnast. Male gymnasts are freakishly strong. And then when my siblings and I were really young, he was a professional weightlifter. I can remember going to meets with my mom and my sister, my brother being too young. Being surrounded by all of these huge giants, watching them lift obscene amounts of weight. My dad isn't very tall, but man were his arms and chest huge! At one point my father was the strongest man in the country in his weight group. That's quite a feat! We have boxes and boxes of his trophies. My sister and I have tons of stories about being at the meets, causing trouble, and exploring the venues.
Aside from physical strength, my dad was a hard worker when he was able to work. From what I can remember he didn't take too many days off. He worked hard, both he and my mom really, to provide the amazing childhood that my sister, brother, and I had. We never went without. We got pretty much everything we asked for. We took family vacations to Disney World and Disney Land. We did fun things in Chicago... went to LOTS of Cubs games, bowling, movies, river walk, ice cream, sledding. We always had a pool (or whatever neighborhood we lived in had one), we had our own rooms (except when we were too small to care), had the latest video games when we asked for them, toys, bikes, boom boxes, etc.. I can only hope to be able to provide that well for my own family some day.
Then when I was about 12, my dad slipped a disk in his back while lifting a 2 pound package at work. He always had a bad back and would throw it out from time to time, but this was different. 2 pounds. Not benching or squatting hundreds and hundreds of pounds. Grabbing a 2 pound box. The doctor told him to lay flat for a number of weeks and that seemed to be working... at least we thought so. What was really happening was that the disk was sitting on his spinal cord in such a way that it essentially "reset" his central nervous system. This is the way I remember it being talked about. It was so long ago, but I think I'm remembering it all correctly.
The resulting disease from following the doctor's orders is called Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome. The name has been changed in recent years to Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. This website gives a good idea of what the disease entails. Since the onset of this disease my dad has experienced more pain than I could ever imagine. I've watched the strongest man in country slowly deteriorate down. I've seen him through more surgeries than anyone should ever have to endure. He has two spinal cord stimulators and a morphine pump in his body to help manage the pain, and even that isn't enough anymore. Nerve endings have been burnt, spinal blocks have been done. There was period of deep depression, much of which us kids didn't know about or see. The muscles are gone. The ability to move freely is being taken away slowly. Walking, standing, sitting, laying... all painful.
My dad, despite the pain he feels, still puts me and my family first. I truly believe that there's nothing he wouldn't do for me... whether he was actually physically able or not. While living at home sporadically for the past few years while in and out of Africa, I found myself easily annoyed at his slowness. Or at his poor memory (pain killers will do that). Or at his general old-man-ness, if that make sense.
But today when my back starting having spasms and the pain engulfed me, I was ashamed of myself. Ashamed of my attitude in the past and also amazed at the strength my father still has. It's not often that you'll hear him complain about the pain he's actually suffering, or the side effects that he has to deal with as a result of the so very numerous medications he's on. When he calls me, it's to see how I'M doing and to tell me he's proud of me. Astonishing. My little back spasms (which are painful, yes) are nothing compared to the pain he has been dealing with for 18 years now.
To see the man he is today, knowing all that's he's gone through, I'm amazed. And I'm proud. He and my mom are amazing. They are some of the most selfless people I've ever met. My mom has now driven back and forth to Jersey twice... I've only lived here for two months. What a blessing. I don't have words that can express how incredibly lucky I am.
My mom has worked to provide for the family since my dad got hurt. She has spent thousands of hours working at jobs that she didn't like, cooking delicious meals, cleaning, doing laundry, helping with homework, shopping, and so much more. She has dropped everything to take care of us. She has given us everything she has. My mom is one of the most thoughtful people on earth, of this I'm fully convinced. Her needs are almost always secondary to our needs. Under-appreciated and probably taken advantage of, but never complaining. Incredible. Beautiful. Strong. Loving. Hospitable. Selfless. My favorite person ever.
God is so good. He provides everything I need. He provided me with outstanding parents who love and support me way more than I deserve. My prayer tonight is for my parents, my whole family really. My prayer is for them to come to know Jesus is a real and life-giving way. The joy that I have comes from the Lord. I want them to experience that joy. I want them to know that knowing Christ doesn't fix every bad thing, but gives hope and eternity with our Maker.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)