You may want to hunker down...

I'll start with a bit of an update since I've been too distracted to do that lately. Work is changing a bit for me. Working for my parents is awesome because it's a relaxed environment and it's really flexible. Well the girl who was working the machines and actually doing all of the embroidery recently left, therefore I have a new job at the store! She trained me for like 8 days or so and now I'm on the machines everyday. I like learning new stuff and I can't say that I'm passionate about embroidery, but I do like seeing the end result of something I've created. Anyway, that's been keeping me pretty busy. This past weekend I went with Trent, his bro, and some youth to Carter Caves, Kentucky for a little camping and caving.
I left on Thursday to make my way down to Indy. We left for Kentucky on Friday morning and met the others from Ohio there in the evening. It was warm that first night and we had a sweet time around the fire, singing and relaxing. I had the chance to go on a walk with and chat with one of the youth girls one on one for a while that night. It was good. With the tents all set up and our gear inside we went to bed. Within what seemed like a couple of hours the rain started and it didn't stop until after lunch the next day. Needless to say, Saturday was cold and all our stuff was wet! The rain had brought a significant drop in the temperature. Even still, we hiked and explored for most of the afternoon. Saturday after the hike as the sun was going down I realized just how cold we were gonna get. Nothing had dried from the night before because it was cold all day, but still we found ways to stay warm until we ran out of dry wood. Luckily I had brought my long johns with me!! It was another fun night hanging out around the fire with the kids and laughing. Such a joy! I love that kinda stuff. Most of us were pretty sleepy since we didn't sleep much due to the rain, but I was dreading getting into my sleeping bag knowing just how cold the night was going to get. Time seemed to slow (we gained a darn hour of sleep on the coldest night ever!), and sleep didn't come. Cold seeped into every part of me! Travis had even brought me what I called my cocoon, a sleeping bag for freezing conditions and I was still cold! Well we survived the night in our tents (except for the one who shall remain nameless who couldn't handle it anymore and slept in the van). Sunday morning I wanted to have my own little church service, so while most were still sleeping I did a devo, grabbed my ipod and took off on a hike of my own. The sun was shining, but in the forest the warmth wasn't coming through as well as it could have. I was determined to find some warmth in the sun so I hiked up this hill that I found along a random path and after about 35 minutes or so I was standing in the sun on this beautiful hill, gazing out over God's creation, completely in awe of what the Lord does. The sun was SO warm, but standing in the presence of the Son was so much warmer than I could have hoped for after a night in the tundra. The valley was full of the vibrant colors of autumn. Most of you know that I love nature, I love being outside, and I love observing the wonders that God so mysteriously created. On that hill, with my ipod playing Selah ever so quietly in my ears I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the goodness of God. I just wanted to sit and bask in the warmth of the Son forever. I love how God gives us each our own little tastes of heaven sometimes. How sweet is it gonna be to live with Him eternally?? So sweet!
In that time with the Lord tons of thoughts rolled off my tongue and hundreds rattled around in my head. In my time of silence I listened and rested in His presence. I also loved singing at the top of my lungs though I was hoping no one else had left the path like I did. :)
Some of those thoughts followed me home and even as I drove from Indy back to Illinois on Monday morning I was overwhelmed by my time in the woods.
Which kinda leads me to the bulk of this blog entry...
Last time I wrote of not wanting to get stuck easily. But I was thinking about being stuck here (in America) instead of there (in Africa). Those are two very specific places if you ask me. When I think of America I think of living in Chicagoland, when I think of Africa I think of living in Kampala, Uganda, East Africa. Now I'm thinking about being "stuck" anywhere. I love the ability to move. I love being free. I'm so thankful that right now in my life I'm not restricted by outside things. I'm my own person and I make decisions for me and only me. Somehow that's freeing, and yet somehow its a bit depressing. It's freeing because I love being used by God and I will always go where ever He asks... even if it's just down the street and even if it's to some remote village in South America. It's depressing because it seems that I'm the only single person left out of most of my friends, thus I'm always a third, fifth, and ninth wheel. Sometimes I think I wouldn't mind not being as independent. Basically I'm sick of being single, but I'm excited to see who God has for me because I'm pretty sure it's gonna be an adventure. :) I am willing to be in America for as long as God has me here, I'm willing to go to Africa whenever I'm asked, and I can't wait to see what other places He may have in store for me (and eventually us).
I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess all of that is to say that I'm SO confused these days and I'm getting real antsy. I've gotta move and be free. This is why I'm almost never home on a weekend. (I think I just discovered where all my money goes... fuel). I like going and doing. If something comes up, heck yes I'll drive 3 or 4 hours to hangout with someone. I need to have something to look forward to. Example: I'm so pumped to be heading out of state for a movie premiere in like 12 days! It gives me something to work towards. When I'm in this state of limbo I tend to go a bit nuts!
I've been ready to get back to Africa since like June 17th, (wait, didn't I get home that day?) ok maybe it was the 18th. Regardless, I thought I'd know some exact details by now and have most of my money raised. I thought I'd have a return date and a new assignment. Since then God has confirmed over and over that I'm supposed to be going back. Now it's just a matter of when.
BUT I've been kinda stressed just in the past week or so because I've learned something new about myself. I fell in love with Africa and it's people in less than a few months. Duh, you already knew that. I've fallen in love with the ministry I'm in now with WSC and even at New Hope in a few shorts months. I could easily fall in love with any place at anytime. How much of my heart can be spread across this vast creation? I love people and I love building relationships. God has given me the ability to relate to people in a way that I don't understand. I find it easy to connect with people quickly and I attribute that to Jesus. I simply love loving people. That's what I want to do.
Why does that stress me out? Well I guess that in thinking through some of that I've been thinking that that somehow belittles my experiences in Africa. Darn, I don't know how to explain it right now. I'm struggling to make sense of this entry, but I'll push on. I want to go everywhere and serve. There are people who are called specifically to one place for their entire lives and that's so awesome. I'm not sure if that's me... yet I'd be fine if it was, but it would take some getting used to I think.
Seriously... listen to this.

"If You Say Go" by Vineyard

If You say go, we will go
If You say wait, we will wait
If You say step out on the water
And they say it can't be done
We'll
fix our eyes on You and we will come

Your ways are higher than our ways
And the plans that You have laid
Are good and true
If You call us to the
fire
You will not withdraw Your hand
We'll gaze into theflames and look for You

Knowing that God has called me back to serve in Uganda again is amazing and I can't wait to go back. I'm super anxious for the details to start working themselves out. As most people are, I'm impatient. I'm praying that as I wait this would be a time of growing and learning so that when I go back I'm ready for things that are presented to me. Maybe in this time here I'm learning something amazing to bring with me when I go (where ever I go)! I've used this verse plenty lately, but I keep coming back to it... "I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!" -Psalm 27:13-14
Amen to that.
For those who don't get my email updates, please be praying for Lino. This Tuesday the decision of the judge will be read and we'll know if Jade and Shelah are granted legal guardianship. This is their last opportunity and it's a huge deal. Please, please be praying for the judge to be compassionate and for her to really consider all aspects of Lino's life when making her decision. Pray for Lino and the Ackers and the weight that this decision has on their lives and their relationship. Thanks!
I know this was long, thanks for sticking with me and sorting through my crazy thoughts. :)