Little did I know that "filling-in" meant running the entire service. Wednesday of this past week I received an email with the order of worship and a name of the person I should be looking for to assist me if I had any questions. I've been in enough traditional services to know how things go, but it's still quite intimidating to walk into a church, look at the bulletin and just go with it. Being responsible for an entire worship service was quite foreign to me.
Speaking in front of a group of people that I don't know isn't very stressful for me. (I was much more nervous when I spoke here at home.) I had plenty of time to work on my sermon this past week and felt like God had given me a very clear picture of what I was to preach on. My nerves stay pretty calm even on the drive up to Trenton.
I woke up around 6:15am (because apparently I have lost the ability to sleep more than 6 hours anymore) which gave me plenty of time to get up, take care of the dog, shower, and even watch some olympic beach volleyball before I left. I knew it would take about an hour to get there and I wanted to arrive about an hour early to have some time to pray and familiarize myself with the building a bit.
The drive up was easy, clear, and beautiful. Worship music played as I prayed. As always, my prayer was for clear leading and for words that were not my own. My plan was to preach on relational ministry and discipleship. As with the last time I preached, I felt like God was leading me to a share something a little bit different at the beginning of the sermon; He was leading me to speak about relationship building during my time in Africa. This isn't something I had planned on, but of course it's something I'm always very willing to speak about.
I arrived, as planned, an hour early. The choir director was there and shared her wisdom with me. As more and more people began to arrive, my nerves began to creep in. Aside from the girl who did the special music, I was the youngest person in the room. Once the prelude started, everyone was sitting and looking right at where I was seated. I waited patiently for the prelude to end which would signal the beginning of my responsibility. My eyes were drawn to the back doors in the sanctuary because there was some movement just outside of them. Three more people came through the doors, a man and two women. Their dark skin was familiar to me. The bright fabric and beautiful headdresses confirmed that they were African. (Also as I took prayer requests, it was confirmed when the younger of the ladies gave a praise that her aunt had just made it in from Africa.) A huge smile spread across my face and my heart filled with pride and joy. It became apparent why I was supposed to start by speaking about Africa. Of course God would know exactly what the people would need to hear.
The service moved quicker than I anticipated and when it came time to preach, I knew I had plenty of time to share what needed to be shared. The sermon started off well, at least I thought so. I decided that standing behind the pulpit was too much of a distraction for me, so I stepped out, made sure I could be heard and went on my way. At first, I wasn't getting much response from the sparse congregation, but as the minutes ticked by I could see realization and understanding working it's ways through the pews. I honestly can't remember the exact words that were shared, but that's a success in my book. To me that means that the Holy Spirit was allowed to work... if I can recite word for word what was said, then the words were my own. After the sermon we sang a hymn, I gave the benediction, and then I headed out to greet the people. We ended just a couple of minutes before 11:30, but I was ok with that.
Standing in the back, palms still sweating, smiling, and greeting people, I was relieved and quite ready for a nap! The people were very gracious and encouraging. Praise the Lord for the ways He showed up and for the ways He continues to connect me with Africa. The African family had not come through the greeting line. When I headed back into the sanctuary to grab my Bible and other belongings, they were there, still chatting. I introduced myself and had a very lovely conversation with them. They shared a bit about where they're from in Sierra Leone and we rejoiced in our similar understandings. Glory to God!
I hung out for a bit with some of the folks in the fellowship hall. I was quickly invited back and asked to share more about Africa. What an amazing morning! When I got in my car to head home, the immediate relief that came initially was fading into a real true joy. I can't get over or express very well just how much it means to me that the place my heart so longs for is so very well connected around here. I love that Africa is not fading into the background. I love that people what to hear about it and share their own lives and experiences with it.
The first few songs that came on the radio were old worship songs that remind me of the joy of my salvation and home (Chicago). I decided to call home and was able to talk to my mom, sister, and both girls. When I got off the phone I still had a good 45 minutes before I was going to be home. I began to feel longing. Longing to be at my new home church, with the people that I'm coming to love so dearly. I sped up a bit in hopes that I'd be able to at least see a few people before they left. Approaching my house, I could see that there were still quite a few cars in the parking lot, so I rushed right in. Those who were still there welcomed me warmly and I felt relaxed. I was home. How astonishing that home has so quickly become a small town in South Jersey.
Thanks be to God who knows me better than I know myself!
No comments:
Post a Comment