A Concert and My Best

Chamuka!  This is my 200th post on this blog!

When I heard that Chris Tomlin was going to be on tour and coming to a city near me, I expressed interest in going to the show.  My lovely friend, Allan was gracious enough to "surprise" me with tickets.  So this past Friday evening we mini-road-tripped it to Baltimore for the show.  A few things you may or may not know about me... I love "surprises", I love road trips (no matter how short or long), I love worshipping God, I love adventure, I love music, and I love good conversation and good company.  So was Friday a good day?  Um, yeah!

What made it even more exciting was that I had never been to two of the States that we went through!  I love seeing and experiencing new places.  Not that Delaware is much of an experience.  (Wayne's World, anyone?  "Hi, I'm in Delaware.")  Never having been to Maryland, I was pretty excited to see Baltimore.  It's really small, but it was cool to see Camden Yards.  We were supposed to get dinner at the harbor, but I was late getting ready because I had subbed that morning, so we didn't have time.  I'd like to go back and actually explore a bit more.  I hear there's an awesome aquarium too.  Sounds like it's worth another trip.  :)

Anyway, the concert was a huge blessing to me.  I had never seen Chris Tomlin live before.  I wasn't completely blown away by the musicianship, but I loved the passion behind the music.  It was very clear that he loves to worship God and it was easy to worship with the 10,000 other people raising their hands in praise.  He played a decent variety and of course played the well known ones, making the worship experience even that much better.  There are only a few songs that have the ability to draw tears from my eyes and he happened to play one of them.  The feeling of absolute awe overwhelms me every time and I can't help but raise my hands to God.  So good.  Our drive home was fast... Baltimore is much closer than I thought.  I thoroughly enjoyed our mini road trip and I'm thankful for Allan.

The next day, Saturday, the praise team and I spent about 3.5 hours practicing for this Friday's worship night.  I'm really looking forward to an evening of worship music and scripture... a time to rest with God and exalt His name.  In Uganda I was a part of a worship studio called Studio_10 and we frequently did worship nights... they were always a blessing.  Music calms my soul, quites my mind, and allows me to be focused on Jesus.  I find that I can push all other things aside when I'm playing/singing for Him.  So, I'm really excited to start doing worship nights here.  The other musicians that I play with are all pretty amazing at what they do.  It's a privilege and an honor to play/sing with such talent... especially because they love worshiping God too.  They're all able to play multiple instruments too... so this Friday we are all playing at least two different instruments.  I'm praying for God to be glorified by the use of the talents that He's given us.  "He must become greater; I must become less."  Wise words, John the Baptist! 

Anyways, Piper and I walk about 4 miles everyday and today on our walk I made it a point to stay off my phone and just enjoy the walk.  With my iPod on shuffle, blaring in my ears, it was the perfect day for a long walk.  We were about a half mile from home when an old Foo Fighters song came on.  It's from the early 2000's and was one of the band's most popular songs.  Let's be real, if I recognize it from when it came out, it must have been being played on a top 40 station.  Admittedly, at the time of the song's release I was far from being a Foo Fighters fan, but recently I've been introduced to them and I'm really enjoying myself so far.  

The song struck me today for a few reasons.  Mostly because even though I know the lyrics are about breaking away from things that are confining and not allow others to have power over you, that's not how I heard them today.  Today I heard God asking me who I am giving my best to.  (Yes, God does speak through songs that aren't written by Chris Tomlin, Hillsong, or even a Wesley, believe it or not.)  ;)  I have a tendency to people please... probably more than I should, but God was asking if I desired to give Him my best, and not just those around me.  Am I willing to work hard on our relationship, not just my relationships with others?  A huge part of my job is spending time building relationships with the congregation and that's one of the areas that I believe God has gifted me in.  (It's one of the reasons I feel led to get my Masters in counseling.)

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship."  Romans 12:1 (NIV)

"Jesus replied, 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'"  Matthew 22:37 (NIV)

"Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me.  The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them."  John 14:21 (NIV)

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.  It is the Lord Christ you are serving."  Colossians 3:23-24 (NIV)

God, help me to give You my best.  Forgive me for giving You less than that some times.  You alone are worthy.  Amen.

Into His Mercy and Grace

This is my short little entry from the daily devotional for Lent book at church:

"So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. ¹⁵ This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. ¹⁶ So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” Hebrews 4:14-16

The God of the universe, Creator of all, the great I AM invites each of us to approach the throne with boldness.  The first time I read that I was amazed and yet somehow puzzled.  How could I, the worst of all sinners, approach God’s throne - and with boldness at that?  How assumingly audacious! 

I always imagined myself standing before God, but with my head tilted down, eyes on my feet, unable to look into His face because I’m so unworthy.  But through the years as I’ve walked closely with the Lord and studied this scripture more deeply, I’ve come to realize that it is because of Christ’s life, death, and resurrection that I can approach the throne.  But not just approach the throne, approach it courageously because His throne is a throne of grace, and our High Priest, Jesus, sits at His right hand interceding for us. 

So do you hear Him?  He’s beckoning you into His presence.  Calling you into his mercy and grace.  His arms are outstretched, patiently waiting.  Are you quiet enough to hear?

Can you see Him?  A Father who kneels down so His child can reach up and embrace Him?  Strength and power like no other, yet tender and soothing… a comforter.  There is peace in His presence.  Do you trust Him? 

Thank you Lord, that you call us into Your presence and you ask us to come just as we are.  Loving Father, help us to have child-like faith to trust You as we sink ever more deeply into your arms and rest in You.

Pleasing to You

Since my last update I've been keeping pretty busy.  On top of church stuff, I've been subbing nearly every Friday.  The first Friday of this was a blessing at the school because I saw nearly all of my kids at least once throughout the day.  And then after school I spent the afternoon/evening with my friend, Allan, his kids, and our pets.  I don't normally bring Piper places because she throws up in the car, but we felt bad for leaving her caged all day and not wanting to cage her all night, he went and picked her up, put her in the back of his SUV, and brought her to his house... with no puke!  The next day my roommate in Uganda, Jean came down for the day/night.  So, we went to get my car back (Allan had let me borrow his car to bring the dog home the night before) and then spent the rest of the day geocaching.  We found 3 caches, 2 of which were within walking distance of my house.  Then we spent the evening watching a movie and hanging out.  It's always a blessing to spend time with Jean.  I got up the next morning and headed to church and she left to head up to Princeton where she was going to church.

After church it was gorgeous outside so I took the dog for a walk before coming home to rest.  We chilled for a little while and then I got ready and went to Allan's... where I was throwing a Superbowl party for the young adult group from church.  We had a lot of fun, despite the lameness of the actual game!  It's always nice to hang out with the young adults, outside of church.  I stayed until everything was cleaned up and then came home wanting to go right to bed... of course, Piper wasn't having that.  After little sleep on Friday night and little sleep on Saturday night, plus getting up early on Sunday, I was wiped.  I "slept in"on Monday until about 8 and then got some stuff done around the house before heading back to Swedesboro for the day.  Allan's kids were home sick from school so we just hung out and watched movies and then worked on homework.  Mondays off are wonderful.  

The rest of that week was spent preparing for our Winter retreat this past weekend and then of course I subbed on Friday.  12 of us loaded into 3 cars and headed up to Keswick (retreat center), though the weathermen warned of impending doom.  We made it up there and settled in no problem, before the storm hit.  We got about 4 inches of snow where we were, but the next day warmed enough to clear it all of the roads.  The retreat was great!  I really enjoyed the speakers and the band.  The best part about the whole weekend was the fact that I was able to simply hang out with my kids.  What a blessing to not be in charge of lessons or worship and to just spend time!  We laughed a LOT, slept a little, and had a great time.  The Saturday night alter-call type service prompted lots of prayer with the kids and the opportunity to understand a bit more about where they're at spiritually.  Nearly every single one of my students reaffirmed their faith or committed for the first time, praise the Lord!!  Now comes the hard part... nurturing those kids, challenging others, discipling, leading, teaching, etc..  It's a good thing God is so sovereign because on my own I'm not able, but with God it's all possible.

I took the whole day Monday off, including my Monday night Bible study, so after I woke up at 5:30am to help a friend, I headed back to bed around 8 and slept until 11.  I seriously did nothing all day.  I didn't clean or do laundry.  I laid around, played with my puppy, played Nintendo, and slept.  It was fantastic.  The next day I got up at 5:30am again, but was home by 8, napped until 9:30, and then went to work.  This was a slow week for me... mostly because it took me so long to recover from the weekend.  You know you're getting old when it takes you days to recover and feel refreshed.  

This was also a challenging week at work.  A group at church made a decision that seems to be unpopular and it has become the focus of many.  Though it wasn't my decision, the original idea was mine, so I somehow feel responsible for the discord.  I'm convinced that satan is trying his best to cause disunity and to discourage, especially after things went so well on the retreat.  When I read about the early church in Acts, I long for us to be a people so focused on doing God's work that nothing else matters.  A people who don't worry about physical and material things, but whose main goal is to fulfill the Great Commission.  I long to see the Body of Christ unified, following the advice of Paul, and most importantly: glorifying God.

Aside from the busyness of life and work, I miss my family and friends in the midwest.  I've not been doing a great job of staying in touch because of said busyness.  It's been a few weeks since I skyped with my nieces... I miss seeing their pretty faces and hearing their sweet voices.  I've been able to talk with my parents, but not so much with my siblings.  It's weird to feel such a disconnect with them.  

I am, however, thankful for more of a connection here.  It's been nice being able to get closer to people and feel more at home.  Relationships with the youth and young adults are moving forward by leaps and bounds.  In fact, I spent my day yesterday hanging out with a group of the young adults... because they wanted to.  How humbling!  

With Lent underway, the Lord keeps prompting me to allow His timing to be best, to be patient and trusting, and to simply love Him with all I am.  Even as I strive to do those things, I'm anxious on this journey to the cross.  Remembering Jesus' ministry challenges me in mine.  Remembering His temptation and victory over it challenges me to use His strength to overcome.  Remembering His death drops me to my knees, humbled and so grateful.  And remembering His resurrection and ascension makes me lift up my heart, head, and hands as He stands in victory.  I'm so in awe.

Yes, I've posted this song before, but it's just so darn good!  This is my prayer today.