So anyways, my senior pastor mentioned the service to me and asked me if I would be willing to preach on one of the phrases. Right away, nerves got the best of me and I hesitated to answer. I asked a few questions and got more information before agreeing to pray about it. I would be the only woman who would be speaking that day... and the only one without either an MDiv or a doctorate. That's intimidating! A few days passed and I thought and prayed about my participation. I decided that I would agree to preach.
The next time I met with my senior pastor was for our staff meeting. He sighed heavily and said he had some embarrassing news. My mind raced as I tried to figure out what they could be, but before I let my thoughts get out of control he told me that I would not be allowed to preach on Good Friday. I didn't think that was embarrassing news, I just figured they'd found someone else and got a response before I gave mine. I figured wrong. I would not be allowed to preach because I'm a woman. Full stop.
It just so happens that the host church is of a denomination that doesn't allow women to preach. If the service were to be held at my church or the other UM church, it wouldn't have been an issue. The senior pastor of the host church said that my preaching would not be well received and that some people might actually leave. It would end up being more of a distraction than anything else.
My first thought was, ugh, not again. Being a woman in ministry has it's ups and downs and this particular issue has always been a challenge for me. I understand the thinking behind that theology, but obviously I don't agree with it. In Uganda it was a major struggle. Being a woman AND single, many of my words were ignored, mainly by men. It's like a different time period in that way, but in other ways, not at all. I was restricted by my gender a lot and even as recent as this past summer I was told that women should not be allowed in ministry the way that I am... especially since I don't have a husband over me. This may be a surprise to you, but I don't take comments like that very well (and not just because I'm so independent and sassy). ;)
If we consider the times in which the scriptures were recorded, we must also consider today's society. I'm not going to sit here and argue my point right now, but it's something that's been hanging over my head for the past couple of weeks. It's frustrating to be kept from sharing the Truth. Shackled by man-made rules. Not cool.
I think my strong, independent personality gets the best of me sometimes. I want to be able to do everything on my own. I don't want to be thought of as weak in anyway. Lord, help my foolish pride! Yet on the other hand, I strongly desire to be led by a man; I want/need to be under some authority. Ah, the life of a single woman.