This past week was very hectic, to say the least. Not that it was bad, but it's mostly a blur now except for a few instances. One divine meeting stands out in my mind. I made a big-ish decision for myself and in doing so had some stuff to get done to see things through. That's where our story begins... ;)
I found myself standing in line waiting to speak to someone about moving forward. My mind was racing- going over all of the possibilities, thinking about my ministry, thinking about the condition of my heart, thinking about the very successful and exciting meeting I had had with a student just an hour before. I was "in the zone," so to speak, and not so aware of my surroundings. After a few minutes of being ignorant, I glanced up. The room was a flurry of people moving about, discussing the ins and outs of their decisions. I'm easily entertained and I love people-watching so instead of pulling out my phone and playing on facebook, I brought my mind to the present and observed.
Behind me in line stood a woman who looked to be in her late 40's or very early 50's. She was about my height, maybe a bit shorter. The wear and tear of life was evident in her voice and on her still beautiful face. She had a look of determination in her eyes. She was chatting rather loudly, but very lovingly to her young teenaged daughter, Ashley (she had called her by name as I eavesdropped). Her daughter did not look excited to be so stationary, but was respectful and even offered to be helpful. After a few minutes, Ashley went and sat down, playing on her phone and waiting for her mom to be finished. Clearly a bit nervous, Anthonia was flipping through her paperwork and fidgeting with her phone. We made eye contact and I shot her an understanding and encouraging smile. (I had decided that I should just smile instead of saying anything so that I could go back to being in my own world and people-watching.) God had other plans.
That smile sparked a conversation. Anthonia began speaking and sharing what she was doing there, what had led her there, and the drive behind her decisions. I listened carefully and was very engaged in the conversation, but just figured she needed to unload for a few minutes and that would be that. She asked me a few questions about myself and we bonded over the fact that we're both from big cities, Chicago and New York, and unused to such small-town living. We agreed that it's a nice change of pace, etc.. Turns out that she and Ashley only live about 10 minutes from me. She then went into more detail about her recent arrival in South Jersey. It became obvious to be that this woman was searching... for answers, for Truth, and for real Love.
I began asking more intentional questions as the Holy Spirit prompted. I asked her about Ashley. Anthonia revealed Ashley's nerves about starting at a new school (the very same school I happen to sub at once a week!) and making new friends. I told her that I know some of the kids from the school because they're in my youth group. I then explained my about my job and how God had very clearly led me here "for such a time as this." Anthonia had taken Ashley to another youth group the previous week and she had a good time, but was nervous to go back because of the small size of that youth group. She asked me many questions about my ministry and I could hardly contain myself while talking about it.
She was so excited and clearly amazed that I was there, that God had placed each of us there for that meeting. She gave me her card and wrote her cell number and new address on it. I gave her my info and encouraged her to be in touch. I was next in line and our conversation started to slow. We wished each other well as I walked away and my focus quickly turned back to the task at hand, but the conversation has lingered in my head and on my heart ever since.
There is no doubt in my mind that the Lord ordained that meeting. I still don't know why and I don't have to, but I'm really looking forward to whatever comes next. God has this way of bringing me out of myself and opening my eyes to the needs and hearts of those around me. There is nothing extraordinary about me (aside from the wonderful of joy of Christ in my life- which is huge, I know) that sets me apart from others, but it seems like God is constantly bringing people to me to vent/share. There must be some level of comfort or something that I exude and I'm so thankful. I see it not at all as a burden, but as a sweet gift from Jesus. I love being someone that others trust and feel comfortable with. What an honor that they trust me, but more importantly, that God trusts me with people's hearts. I don't claim to do or say anything great and often times I'm at a loss, but God always reveals the right words (or clamps my mouth shut when the need is simply for a listening ear).
Praise the Lord that He chooses to use me. May I never take advantage of that or lose sight of the eternal qualities that each meeting and conversation has. And praise the Lord that He uses me even when I'm wrapped up in my own life... even when I just shoot off a smile to stay closed off. Praise the Lord that each soul matters and that even when I'm being ignorant, His work is done. What a precious reminder that He chooses us... that He pursues us, in spite of ourselves. Praise the Lord that He lets me see things through His eyes, even if it takes a little slap in the face to wake me up.
God is pursuing those around us. Are we willing to plant seeds? Even in people we don't know... or in people we don't particularly care for? My prayer tonight is that my eyes and my heart would be open and sensitive to those around me, to both those I know and those I don't. It can only be done in God's strength and to Him be the glory. I sent Anthonia a card in the mail... we'll see what happens. Whatever happens (or doesn't), God is in control and I'm resting in that fact. Thanks Jesus.
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