"That just has to be ok" is a phrase I've heard myself use a lot lately. At first, I thought it was in place of "it is what it is," but as I think more about how I've been using it, it's nothing like "it is what it is."
The times I've heard myself use it have always been in reference to God's ways. A few weeks ago I preached a sermon called, "Future Plans." It went right along with the idea of new years resolutions. One of the scriptures we talked about was Proverbs 19:21 which says, "You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail." Like a wrecking ball to an abandoned building, the idea of God's plans being best keeps smashing into my heart and mind, tearing down walls, removing me, making room for more of Him.
And as I preach on healing during this current sermon series, I've used the phrase, "that just has to be ok" numerous times. I think it's beautifully submissive to God. It's not like giving up a fight, or being dragged away kicking and screaming. It's like resting and trusting that His ways really are best; that He knows and that's enough. Breathe in; breathe out; rest.
This hasn't always been so easy for me. I'm a bit of a fighter, as I'm sure many of you would attest to, so I don't rest very easily. I had a plan laid out in my mind (and society was/is great at reinforcing that my plan was good). I was going to go to college, meet my husband, get married, work/do ministry, have a few children, travel, and live happily ever after. Well here I sit, at 31, sans husband and kids, and my life has looked NOTHING like I originally planned. God's ways are best. There have been times, though, when I have doubted that with every ounce of my being.
How could me being lonely and alone be His best for me? How could me feeling like an outsider to the rest of my friends who had "normal" lives be His best? How could I NOT be a mom? I have so much love to share and I'd be a really good mom, so why don't I have my own kids? See a pattern? It's all about me. (Cue the world's tiniest violin.)
There were plenty of times when I was so worried about me, that I didn't give Him a chance to move. Of course, I couldn't see what was to come. Two, year-long stints in Africa... would I have been obedient enough to go? Would being married have allowed that? Would I have been brave enough to take kids there? (I would now, no questions, but probably not then.) Would I have moved my family 900 miles for this job? Would I even be doing what I'm doing had I forced my plan to work?
I think I know the answer to all of those questions. God knows the desire of my heart is to be married and to be able to do ministry with my husband. He knows how badly I want children, whether my own or not (my, how He's changed my heart on that). He knows and that just has to be ok. It has to be enough. And it is... because I trust Him and because His ways really are best.
As God continues to reveal more of who He wants me to be, I will continue to rest knowing that He is trustworthy.
Psalm 33
1 Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous;
it
is fitting for the upright to praise him.
2 Praise the LORD with the harp;
make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre.
3 Sing to him a new song;
play skillfully, and shout for joy.
4 For the word of the LORD is right and true;
he
is faithful in all he does.
5 The LORD loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of his unfailing love.
6 By the word of the LORD the heavens were made,
their starry host by the breath of his mouth.
7 He gathers the waters of the sea into jars;
he
puts the deep into storehouses.
8 Let all the earth fear the LORD;
let all the people of the world revere him.
9 For he spoke, and it came to be;
he
commanded, and it stood firm.
10 The LORD foils the plans of the nations;
he
thwarts the purposes of the peoples.
11 But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,
the purposes of his heart through all generations.
12 Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD,
the people he chose for his inheritance.
13 From heaven the LORD looks down
and sees all mankind;
14 from his dwelling place he watches
all who live on earth—
15 he who forms the hearts of all,
who considers everything they do.
16 No king is saved by the size of his army;
no
warrior escapes by his great strength.
17 A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
despite all its great strength it cannot save.
18 But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
on
those whose hope is in his unfailing love,
19 to deliver them from death
and keep them alive in famine.
20 We wait in hope for the LORD;
he
is our help and our shield.
21 In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.
22 May your unfailing love be with us, LORD,
even as we put our hope in you.
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