Like a Parent

God is so good.  Amen, right?  Seriously though, I'm just so in love with Him these days.  I know I wrote about it a few weeks ago, so I won't go on and on about it today.  I'm grateful.  

Ministry has been so great lately.  I love my job.  I mentioned in my last post about the upcoming sermon series I get to do and I'm so excited for it.  Something else that's so exciting to me is that today was the first day of after school Bible study for my high school students.  I had 5 kids show up.  That may not seem like a huge deal, but it is.  5 kids who want to dive deeper into God's Word?  5 kids who want to know Christ more?  Praise God!  There's so much goodness happening these days.

I'm at a really cool place with many of my youth... a place I love!  It's a place where they're wanting to hang out with me outside of church.  It's been this way for a while now with a few kids here and there, but it just seems different now.  You get to a point where your youth kids become your friends and I, for one, love it.  I think of the way Jesus interacted with His disciples and about how totally relational He was and that's where I long to be.  Relationships are my thing.  I can teach you, but I'd really like to do life with you too.  I don't want to only tell you, I want to show you.

Some of my "former youth kids" are now some of my favorite friends.  It's a very intimate thing to guide someone in their relationship with Christ.  In my opinion, you can't effectively minister to someone from afar.  You've got to get personal.  Sure, I understand that there's a line that shouldn't be crossed and you've got to be careful about what you disclose, but kids respond when you're open with them.  When they can relate to you because they know some of the trials you've faced, they trust you.

This means that I'm invested and 100% committed.  To be honest, it's a little scary.  It's a vulnerable place to be.  I feel like I'm pouring all of me into my ministry.  It's not just my job, it's my life.  Each kid that I disciple now has a piece of me.  Each person that I preach to gets to hear my heart.  The people that I minister with are like my family... they see me at my best and at my worst.  It gets lonely sometimes to be surrounded by my work, but Christ sustains me and He's enough.

Being consumed by day to day life (my job) doesn't allow time for much else.  I've been thinking a lot about life outside of my work and the hopes and plans that I've had.  A Master's degree is still very much on my radar and I'm pursuing that option, pending some financial stuff.  (Still paying off my undergrad degree.)  There's also the timing of it all.  I'm not sure how I'll have time to do school work on top of everything else, but I know I'll figure out a way to make it work.  I'd also still like to have a family... but I'm trusting God's timing on all of that.

Moments of vulnerability along with being so committed to so many things has really got me thinking.  I have brief times of panic every once in a while because of the level of commitment, but again, God reigns me back in and draws me back into a place of quiet and rest with Him. 

I consider it a huge privilege to do the work I'm doing and I don't think there's anything else I'd rather be doing right now.  I love Jesus and I really, REALLY want my kids (and the whole congregation) to love Him too... and to desire to walk with Him daily.  It's such an honor to bring these kids before the throne of the Lord everyday.  What an amazing gift.  

Like a parent, I have days when I wish I could walk down the halls of the school, holding their hands and guiding them through life.  I wish I could protect them from the realities of a sinful world.  I want to be their shield... or at least put them in a bubble.  God's got this though.  I trust Him.

I guess there wasn't really a point to this post other than to brag on my God and my youth.  Thanks Jesus.