I Will Not Be Quiet

Over the last year and a half I have read hundreds of articles, watched hours and hours of the news (including the primary and presidential debates), and have been involved in more discussions than I can even remember at this point.  I consider myself to be, at the very least, moderately educated when it comes to current politics.  I preface this post with that information because I'm really not interested in a debate or argument.  That is not my purpose here.  I'm well aware of what has taken place.  My purpose is to be a voice.  I may not be as articulate as many of my friends and family, but I will not be quiet.

I will not be quiet because to do so would only add to the horror that we are currently living.  To do so would be permissive.  To do so would go against everything I have ever known to be Truth.

I will be the first to admit that I grew up in an extremely privileged, predominately white area and was given everything I ever needed and wanted.  I never went without anything because my parents worked tirelessly to give us the childhood they never had.  I have been given every opportunity to be educated and successful.  On top of that, I was introduced to Christ around the age of 13 or so and quite honestly have never looked back since.  I fell in love with His Word.  The fact that Jesus died for me was mind-boggling and awe-inspiring.  I couldn't get enough of Christ, so I studied the Word, I listened to teaching, I engaged in discussion, and I learned what it meant to be an image-bearer of Christ, what it meant to live a Christ-like life.  I observed the life of Jesus and His relationships with His closest disciples, with sinners, and with those who despised Him.  I became sensitive to His commands, taking them very seriously.

As a result, much of my life has been dedicated to serving Jesus.  Let me be clear: it hasn't always been pretty and I've messed up A LOT (yeah, I'm a big time sinner), but I have tried to walk in obedience.  So after attending a small evangelical university and working in youth ministry for a time, I felt called to Africa where I served for two separate year-long terms as a missionary.  In that time, I worked with people from nearly 30 different countries and had the joy of learning at least a little bit about each culture.  (I worked at an international school for part of my time, hence the vast variety of cultures.)  There are some that I learned more about than others.  For example, much of my time was spent with former child soldiers and refugees from South Sudan, Somalia, Ethiopia, Eritrea, Sudan, Rwanda, Burundi, Democratic Republic of Congo, and the list goes on, along with the various religions represented.

Many of these dear ones have come to know Jesus and many have amazing stories of how God revealed Himself to them in unlikely and miraculous ways.  When you sit and listen to the first-hand accounts of 6 different former child soldiers and lost boys, you can't not be changed and deeply impacted.  Absolute horror becomes real when you look into the eyes of those affected by such violence.  And the refugees who recounted their stories of survival and resilience brought me to my knees.  Yet in their deep pain and suffering, I was welcomed in as a daughter and as a sister.  I was made a part of many different family units.  Homes and hearts were opened.  In fact, my heart now has two homes on two continents.  Some of these beautiful brothers and sisters have been resettled here in the U.S. over the last few years.

Because of this, I will not be quiet.

Flash forward five years to present day: I have this terrible habit of checking my phone first thing in the morning, while I'm still laying bed.  I think I justify it by first reading the daily devo in my email.  Wednesday morning I was met with the results of the election.  And I cried.  No, I didn't just cry.  I wept.  I figured it was going to end that way when I went to bed on Tuesday, but the reality of it was heartbreaking that morning.  Pictures of my loved ones flashed through my brain and I sobbed.  My sister and I exchanged a few snapchats expressing our grief and our fear, especially for her daughters, my nieces who happen to be two of the most beautiful, bi-racial girls around.  The weeping continued as I thought of other dear friends and family who are people of color, who are a part of the LGBTQ community, and the Muslim community.
 
As I looked at the news and social media, I found that we weren't alone.  The expressions of anger, sadness, and fear filled my various newsfeeds and my tears kept flowing.  There was also much rejoicing, followed by proud statements that boasted of a victory for the evangelicals.  All I could think was, "how?"  How did this happen?  I listened to his words, I observed his actions, I was shocked by his flippant attitude towards so many.  How could a man who exemplifies such intense hatred, racism, neglect, abuse, etc be elected to lead this nation?  He does not represent the people... not the people I know.  So, how?

(Let me add in that if you voted for him, I love you and I don't think you're ignorant, racist, or abusive people.  I know that some have decided that to be true of you, but I refuse that narrative.)

The amount of violence and hate speech that has erupted as a result of the election is alarming.  I'm not talking about the protests though.  I'm talking about those who now feel safe, confident, and justified in speaking hate towards people of color, Muslims, the LGBTQ community, etc.  To many, the president-elect offers space for such language and action.  The KKK marched on Wednesday celebrating the victory.  Someone graffiti'd a swastika with the words "Make America White Again."  Pretending that this isn't happening, that this isn't the reality that we're now living is completely irresponsible.  These are the real experiences of minorities in a free land.  If you've not encountered such hate, you're counted among the privileged.

As a woman, I'm horrified.  As a Christian, I'm horrified.  As a daughter, aunt, sister, neighbor, I'm horrified.  How is this acceptable?  The fear and grief many are experiencing is very real!  I've sat quietly for a few days now partially because of shock, partially because I was made to feel foolish for having such a strong response.  "Why can't people get over it?"  "So what?  He's our president-elect. It's nothing to cry over."  "Millennials are so dramatic about everything."  "Protesting is so ignorant and pathetic."  "Libtards are so weak." (By the way, "libtards" is a horribly offensive term to both liberals and the disability community.)

I can't just "get over it" because the fear is founded in reality.  I am scared.  The youth I work with are scared.  A man has spoken hate and made promises regarding the removal of certain people and certain rights.  I weep because I've seen people threatened and abused as a result of him.  I weep because the Church remains silent, thus allowing it to continue.  I'll say it again: to be silent is to be permissive.  I weep because many who claim to follow Jesus mock those who are hurting, scared, and alone.  Showing emotion and caring for others is not weakness, but strength.  I will not be told how I'm allowed to react or feel about something and I will not be told to be quiet.  (By the way... I'm a few years too old to be considered a millennial.)

Friends, I have known Jesus in the deepest pits of life-threatening terror and despair through my brothers and sisters both here and around the world.  And I have known Him in great privilege.  I know the Truth.  Many of you know the Truth.  We cannot remain quiet.  To those in fear, I will stand with you.  I will not be quiet.