Oh how I wish I had the gumption to sit down and write out the details of my time in Uganda to give you a better picture of what my day to day looked like. I don't. And in all reality, I'm not sure you'd want every detail of every day. (and if you do, let's just go out to coffee :) My time there was very sweet. I hadn't really sat down and reflected on it much until today as I met with a dear friend. Through her questions, I was able to process and see things much differently.
The first thing that hit me today was that God ordained every moment... each interaction, each breath, each tiny moment of eye contact as I cruised by on the back of a boda. He ordained the joyful reunions and laughter, and the heart-wrenching tears as goodbyes were said. He walked with me every step of the journey, just as He does every moment of every day here.
It's always so validating and humbling to be greeted with so much love and enthusiasm... The big hugs, the tears of joy, the feel of someone relaxing into your hug, relieved that you're finally there. Unconditional love and the feeling of being wanted and needed... just what every woman desires. And if I'm being completely honest, that's how most women find their identity... in how they're loved, wanted, and needed. There were times when I felt like royalty because of the way I was being treated. It was easy to start thinking that my worth was based on how I was being treated... because in those moments it was SO good. But then, what would happen if I wasn't as warmly welcomed by someone? (not that that happened.) Would how I view myself diminish somehow? And the answer was YES. That's a scary reality, but it's not uncommon and it's so easy to slip into.
The exciting thing is that God was in each of those moments reminding me of where my identity lies... "Beloved, I love you. No matter what. My love has no end, no conditions. It doesn't depend on the number of sweet reunions or how many people love you. It doesn't depend on how frizzy your hair is today. You are mine and I Am more than enough. I love you." Over and over again, God told me and showed me that He loves me. Who I am in Christ is who I am... that's my identity. Looking back and looking ahead, it's so refreshing to know that God is my All in All.
Anyway, one of my favorite parts of the two weeks was spending time with the youth at the Center. I had kids from 3 or 4 different countries, both Muslim and Christian, all new to the program. Many of them had just arrived in Uganda. Their English levels were extremely low, but with God's help, communication wasn't really an issue. We spent time learning English, playing games, and doing a Bible lesson each day. By Wednesday their participation in the games was extremely low. Finally, one of the older boys communicated to me that they just wanted to learn... they didn't care so much about the games. Really?! Awesome! So I adjusted, and I taught. There was much laughter even in the lessons because they included a lot of me drawing... which isn't really helpful to anyone. They also took turns drawing. My favorite was reading the creation story from Genesis, knowing that they didn't understand most of the words coming out of my mouth, and yet seeing understanding come to them as I fumbled through drawing. We made it through the story of the fall by the end of the week... but it was an amazing end as the Lord prompted that the emphasis be on the fact that He still pursued Adam and Eve after they had sinned. Praise be to God.
Silly games
It was also amazing to learn a little bit of each of their stories about where they had come from and what brought them to Uganda. Many of them are carrying the weight of the world on their young shoulders. War, disease, death, hopelessness, anger. The Center of Hope is indeed just that: a place of hope. I'm so thankful for the ministries provided and that it truly serves an an oasis to refugees without hope. It's incredible to see how it has grown over the last 3 years. When I left, there were probably under 100 students. Now, they are bursting at the seams with over 600. It's so evident that Kingdom work is being done there... God is at the center and He is moving in ways that I don't think any of us could have imagined.
My African family is as sweet as ever. To be called and introduced as "my daughter" by two of the women is so humbling. I cherished my time with the family... even though it wasn't as long I as I would have liked. Relationships are very much intact and growing. It's always so cool to me that time doesn't matter to God. In the grand scheme of things, I've spent very little time with my African family, but that doesn't seem to matter one bit. The amount of love present is evidence of that.
Mom and Dad A
My sweet sisters
Just from school... so proud!!
:)
Mama V
My dear friend, Suadi :)
I'm SO thankful for the time I was allowed to be in there. Each time I leave it seems like I leave more of my heart behind. I don't mourn for those missing pieces... I rejoice, very grateful and privileged to have so many places (and people) to call home.
There's much more to share and God continues to reveal more of Himself as I sift through the days in my memory. Please join me in praying for the work and the workers at the Center. Pray for the refugees. Pray for my African family. Pray for the work and ministries here and my family here in the U.S.. Thank you all for the love and support.
I know this is pointing out the obvious, but God is so good. I've been bad about blogging lately and I think one of the main reasons is because I'm so overwhelmed by all of the things that God is teaching me... so much goodness that I've not been able to articulate it. But I'm so thankful to be overwhelmed in this way. Praise the Lord!
January both dragged on forever and flew by. I couldn't wait to be here (in Uganda) but I also needed time to be there, preparing and still ministering affectively. We had an amazing community worship service. There have been plenty of good times with the youth too. I know I say this all the time, but I LOVE my youth kids so much! One of the Sunday nights in January I set up prayer stations for youth group. It was such a lovely time of worship and growth. Seeing my kids talk to God, surrender to Him, worship Him, and pray for our brothers and sisters around the world really blessed my heart. It was a beautiful time of worship for me too. :)
Looking back from this side of the Atlantic, January was hectic. I spent the last two full weeks of the month being quite sick. I don't get really sick often, but when I do, I do it right! So miserable. Thankfully I have lovely people in my life who helped care for me by bringing soup, cough drops, and even a vaporizer. It was nice to slow down a bit for a change, but I was a little panicked because I still had so much to do before coming here. The last weekend of the month was the youth winter retreat. Thankfully, I was feeling about 80% better by then and we had a great weekend. Did I already mention how much I love my youth?
Just a day and a half after the retreat, I flew to Uganda. Both flights were wonderful, mostly because they weren't jam-packed. I had plenty of space to NOT sleep. Man, I wish I could sleep on planes! On the upside, I've recovered from jet-lag pretty quickly because I was more than ready to go to bed by the time I got to the Hopson's house.
Anyway, the flights were perfectly timed and not only because I got off the plane in London and was able to run to make my next flight with no problems. The timing of the day was perfect. It was night over the Atlantic, but the sun rose as we approached Ireland and Scotland. And the second flight was nice and bright as we cruised over France, Germany, Austria, Italy, Greece, and the Mediterranean. The sun set just after the sea kissed the shore of Libya into Egypt. Flying over the Nile river at night is always incredible. It's teeming with life... lit up on both sides, nearly all the way through Sudan, South Sudan, and Uganda. This continent is so amazing, even in the dark of the night. Small wildfires blazed in some places, little villages were visible only by their tiny fires, and the cities just seem to be misplaced.
A lot of my flight time was spent thinking through and processing how to deal with only being here for two weeks. I've only ever been here for year-long stints. Two weeks just doesn't seem like enough. I was reminded yesterday that this coming week is my only full week. How is that even possible?!
The moment I stepped off of the plane, my whole body and mind shifted gears. The familiars sounds and smells were so comforting... along with the sweat rolling down my neck. Relief came over me and my eyes filled with tears. I quickly stifled the tears so as not to draw attention to myself or creep anyone out, but I was overcome with the emotion of being here. 3 years is a long time to be away from somewhere so dear to me. All but one bag made it, but nothing could crush my spirits. (the bag came today, btw.) I dealt with that quickly, and went outside to find my dear friends who had come to get me. The reunion was very sweet.
Everything has felt so natural and familiar. My Ugandan-English has come back without any problems and I love talking to people. It has been a HUGE joy to be greeted by so many people I love so much! Even my favorite boda driver (motorcycle taxi) came and met me on the road one day as I was walking. He just wanted to greet me and find out why I'd been gone for so long. Others who I hadn't thought would remember me so much have been more than happy to welcome me home. The phrase, "eh! You have been lost!" has been heard too many times to count and I love it! I've also heard, "you are now Ugandan" many times just because of the number of times I've come and gone. Everyone knows you can't stay away once you come. :)
Staying with my dear friends has been an amazing blessing and comfort. I feel so at home here. The reunions at the Center of Hope have been nothing short of fabulous as well!! Lots of screams, big hugs, and laughter have ensued and I still haven't even seen everyone. My African mom from South Sudan cried, "my daughter has come home!!" I can't accurately describe the joy in my heart these days. There are so many people to see and my schedule is about to get a little bit hectic, but I'm so excited!
I would appreciate prayers as I minister to the youth at the Center of Hope this week. They don't have good English (or any at all), as they say, but I'm up for the challenge. I miss teaching ESL! They are new to the Center which definitely works to my advantage. We will get to know each other and how things are going at the Center together. I can't wait. I'm not yet sure how many nations will be represented in this group of youth, but the Center looks a lot like "all the nations" these days. With over 600 students from probably 15 or more different countries, it's very exciting times.
Also, continued prayer for safety on the roads and health would be wonderful. Thank you to all who have supported and who continue to support this trip! I am SO grateful to be ministering here for this time. Webale nyo! (Luganda for "thank you very much!") And asante sana!! (Swahili) Feel free to facebook creep, as I am able to update that much more frequently. :)
A strange thing happened when I got in my car on December 23rd. It was all packed up, dog vomit-proofed and we were about 20 minutes from the house when I was overcome with a sadness. Not like, "I need to cry for 20 minutes and then I'll be good" sadness. More like, "as much as I long to be in Chicago right now, I don't want to leave" sadness. It was such a weird feeling considering how much thought and preparation I put into making sure I could be home for Christmas Eve with extended family and Christmas morning with the girls.
I thought for sure it would subside the farther from NJ I got, but it didn't, it just intensified. Actually, it was really annoying because it was killing the whole fun, adrenaline, anxiety of going to Illinois. My nieces didn't know I was coming early and I was looking forward to surprising them... at least I thought I was. By the time I got into Ohio, I had had enough. I began to pray and ask God to help me sort through what was going on.
He began to show me, walking me through my life, that I had always made myself at home wherever I went. That wasn't news to me. I've even written on here about my somewhat transient lifestyle. But what He was showing me was how extremely blessed I am to have so many places to call "home." So many places where I'm comfortable and surrounded by people I love. Even more than that though, He reminded me that since this world isn't my permanent home, He has enabled my heart to make everywhere home. I'm not sure that I have effectively communicated that, but I'm not really sure how else to put it. It was an awesome reassurance of His presence and power, no matter where my physical location. God has always made a way and it's not been easy in the least, but what an amazing feeling, to have my heart so spread out.
When I got back in my car to come back to NJ, I felt the same sadness, but this time I rejoiced. I had had a wonderful time with my beloved family and even though it's hard to leave, I was ready to be back here with this family. Walking through my door here, to a house (and cat) that had been so lovingly cared for by dear friends made my heart happy. And of course the reunion here was so sweet.
Within 2 days of being home I was told about a Ugandan Kid's choir concert that was only about 10 minutes from my house. Talk about wanting to go home! There are times when just I ache for Africa... longing to be "home." What an interesting few weeks of such mixed emotions. The concert was during youth group, so myself and a couple of my leaders took the kids and headed over. I was bursting at the seams with excitement. Seriously though, it was hard to contain. I couldn't wait for everyone here to get to experience just a tiny, tiny bit of the place that brings my heart so much joy.
As soon as the first song started, so did my tears. I was overwhelmed with joy to hear "Jabulani," a song that I've both sung and heard many, MANY times.
Thankfully I was sitting in front of my kids, so they didn't have to experience how overcome with emotion I was. :) The choir was fantastic! I WISH I had their energy. To see their faces and watch how excited they were to worship God was incredible. Their love for the Lord was more than obvious... it radiated off of every part of their bodies. I don't think I stopped smiling the entire time. After the concert, my kids had the opportunity to greet the choir and get a picture with them which was really cool. I even told them how to say "thank you" in Luganda and the choir was shocked and thrilled to respond in their native language.
Honestly, it felt like a gift from God as I prepare to head to Uganda in a few weeks. I can't wait to be there, reunited with yet another branch of my family!
Though sometimes it's really hard to be in any one of the many places I call "home," I feel extremely blessed that Jesus has given me so much. To be a part of the Body of Christ is to have a place anywhere and everywhere. What a comfort knowing that wherever God places me or sends me, I'm home because I'm His.
The icing on the cake this week was reading this quote on a friend's page... "You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place." -Miriam Adeney
You're either a cat person or a dog person right? Most people are loyal to one or the other. Personally, I've always been a dog person. We didn't have a dog growing up, aside from the short time my grandpa lived with us while he still had his dog. When she lived with us, I LOVED playing with and taking care of her, but my parents were never fond of the idea of having to take care of a dog, knowing that we probably wouldn't. We had a parakeet at one point. I had a turtle. And we always had a fish tank, but no "real" pet.
One pet that we never even thought to ask for was a cat. None of us ever cared for cats, so it was never brought up. When I would sleep over with a friend who had a cat, I ignored the animal. No desire to mess with cats. In fact, I actually grew to despise them... mainly because the ones I HAD been around were either really skittish or really stuck up.
Well about a year and a half ago, I adopted a kitten from a shelter. Why on earth would I do something so dumb? I've asked myself that same question nearly every day since getting the cat. Until recently, that is. You see, his main purpose is to take care of bugs for me... namely crickets. I can't handle seeing or being around them without having an actual panic attack. Embarrassing, I know.
Paka (my cat) has done a fabulous job keeping the bugs away, but he's also just plain annoying. Because I'm not used to cats, I'm not accustomed to the dumb crap that they do ALL the time. He constantly knocks stuff off of shelves and tables. I come home or wake up to things broken, messed up, or missing all the time. My response has always been to grab him and put him in the basement for the day (where his food and box are, btw). Over the last year and a half, I really grew to hate the cat. There was no part of him that I enjoyed. In my eyes, he was just a bug killer that I had to feed. My dog enjoys having him and they often cuddle and play together... which is one of the only reasons he's lasted as long as he has. The church got an exterminator for me and as soon as that happened, I started looking for someone to take the cat, figuring that the dog would get over the loss. I didn't want to return him to the shelter, but I didn't want to keep him.
If I'm being honest, I've been kinda mean to him. I yell at him for doing those dumb cats things. The other day, I caught myself raising my voice at him just because he exists. He had done something very cat-like and I wasn't having it. It was in that moment that I realized how awful I've been. First of all, he didn't choose to come live here. I adopted him. I made the choice to bring him into my home. The annoying, sometimes destructive things that he does are not meant to make me angry... he's just doing what cats do.
But more than that... through the words of a friend, I realized how little grace I've extended my cat. But how much like the cat can I be sometimes? I do stupid stuff human stuff all the time. I destroy things and make messes of things. I mean, we've all been born into captivity to sin... our nature is to be sinful and disobedient. Like a cat, I like to do my own thing. You know how cats sometimes just take off running for no apparent reason? I do that too. (No, not literally... though, how funny would that be?)
Before I was born, God knew me. And yet He still chose to give me life and make me His beloved! He knew that I would do stupid human things and yet He still sent His Son to the cross for me. Amazing grace, indeed!! How great is His love for ALL His people?
As I thought about this even further, the Lord revealed more of His great compassion and I made a conscious decision to love my cat. It seems to go against all of my instincts to love Paka, but love isn't just a feeling. It's a choice. I have to choose to love him even if I don't think he deserves it... because the reality is that I don't deserve the love I've been shown. None of us do. So what does that mean for me today, aside from living peacefully and loving my cat? It means that I understand a little bit better how to look on EVERYONE with love... not just those who make it easy to love them.
In His great wisdom, God knew that I needed a shot of compassion. There is not one person alive who isn't in need of a Savior. There's not one person alive who doesn't deserve to hear the Truth. Am I supposed to love everyone? Absolutely! Am I going to encounter people who don't want me to love them? Yep, but I will make the choice to love them anyway. It's not my job to pick and choose who to love. Sometimes love flows so easily. Other times it's going to have to be a conscious choice. In any case, my prayer today is that I will always move and speak with the compassion of my Savior.
My house is so much more peaceful since I decided to love Paka. When I come downstairs in the morning and one of my beloved trinkets from Africa is in the middle of my living room, I simply pick it up and put it back. I'm still not a cat person. I'm not sure that'll ever happen, but I am thankful for Paka AND that God is cool enough to remind me of something through a pet. What an awesome God!
Every time I've thought of something I'd like to write about, I get sidetracked and by the time I find my way back, the moment has passed. November flew by in a whirlwind of both joyful and tearful occasions. We lost a dear member of our church a few weeks ago and as you've probably read in other posts, I don't deal with death and loss very well. Especially not when it was someone I loved so dearly. The good news is that Jesus is victorious over death, so we had quite the celebration of her life and of her homecoming to be with Him. Praise God!
There have been plenty of joys mixed in there and I'm so grateful for God's grace in tough situations. Youth group has been going well and we continue to have new faces here and there. As I gauge the spiritual needs of my kids, I find myself at the foot of the cross more and more often. There is such a sense of urgency within me that sometimes it's really hard to sit back and follow the curriculum. Some days it's tough knowing that the maturity isn't there, but God's work runs deeper than I get to see, so I trust Him.
On a different note, I was blessed with the gift of a piano recently and what an amazing privilege it's been to spend so much time worshipping the Lord through song in my home. I don't think I'll ever get away from music being the thing that drops me to my knees in worship. I can't hear even the simplest of melodies without wanting to raise my hands to the King of Kings. Now I just need to take the time to practice the instruments I've been given. My guitar doesn't go un-played, but I'm not the one playing it so much these days. I miss it. I went through a few weeks of writing recently and I know I need to get back at it.
Something else that's been a bit time consuming is my grad school application... also a reason I've not been writing much else lately. The goal is to have the app completed before I leave to spend Christmas with my family. It'll be a huge relief to be done with that. Each time I talk with anyone at length about the grad program or life once I have my master's, I get overwhelmed with excitement. I can't wait to start and I've definitely spent way too much time putting it off. I've decided that there will never be a great time for me financially (thank you, IWU) so I just need to jump into it. I seriously cannot wait for the day when I'm a licensed counselor! Glory to God.
Outside of youth stuff, work has been a little hectic. That definitely comes with the time of year. We're expanding upon a ministry that's been up and running for years and I'm so pumped to see what God is going to do with that. The Yield service is still going well, though our numbers haven't been increasing. I love preparing sermons each week and I love working with our worship leader to pick music. There's no denying the presence of the Holy Spirit in that place... it's by His power that the Word gets preached each week. The Advent sermon series that I'm doing is called SENT and I've really been enjoying it so far. We've also just started another round of adult Bible study which meets at my house each week. The study is on prayer and it's great. I'm looking forward to getting further into that too. So much goodness happening.
I had the amazing privilege of spending Thanksgiving with a dear friend and his family in North Jersey this year. It was a lovely time and really felt like a vacation for me. His family lives in a gorgeous home on a beautiful lake. It was very picturesque as the show fell while I wrote my sermon, sitting by the fire with my puppy by my side. Perfection.
Aside from the Bears embarrassing loss on Thanksgiving, it was a fabulous day. We walked the dogs around the lake as the snow tapered off, we shoveled a tiny bit, and we ran a quick errand for last minute items. After the first football game, everyone began to arrive and we went and picked up his grandmother. The meal was amazing and the fellowship was fantastic. I do love being able to share what I'm thankful for... and no one had a shortage of things to thank God for. After dinner was cleaned up a bit, we got our desserts and gathered back around the table. Allan's grandmother then shared part her amazing story. I can't really put into words what it meant to be there for that. It was truly an honor to hear all of the amazing things God did to bring them safely through. I know there's so much more to the story and I can't wait to hear it someday. God carries His people.
On Friday, Allan and I grabbed a train into NYC for the day, but not before having a lovely breakfast with Jean!! I really miss Chicago and spending time in big cities. I mean, Philly is great and all, but it's just so small. He was a fantastic tour guide! I got to see so many things I hadn't seen before and the weather was pretty much perfect. Cities are so lovely when it's a bit chilly out!
Again, it was an awesome day. The whole trip was a blessing. We got back down here in time to practice and have church on Saturday. I'm happy to report that the meds I got for Piper worked! She didn't get sick once while in the car (or otherwise, for that matter)! She was well behaved... it gave me hope for Christmas.
This past week has been spent catching up and organizing a bit. I can't believe that Christmas is so soon. There's a lot going on at the church in the next few weeks and I know it's gonna fly by.
Actually... before I know it, I'll be walking the dirt roads of Uganda. Truthfully, it brings tears to my eyes to think about being there and reconnecting with my beloved Africa family. My heart has been longing for this for 3 years and I'm so thankful for the chance to go. My church has been so understanding and supportive. There aren't many jobs where they'll let you take two weeks off to go to Africa. Not that I'm vacationing, but it still feels like such a privilege.
As I mentioned earlier, the urgency of the gospel is overwhelming at times. I don't have to look much further than the daily news to realize that. The current condition of our country is horrifying. Not that the rest of the world is much better off. My sermon last week was called "The Coming Lord" and I talked briefly about the longing of the Jews for a Messiah. Their cry was, "come!" My cry is the same. And yet, so many people I love still don't know Jesus. It's a very difficult thing to want nothing more than for Jesus to come again, but to also want every knee to bow. Like God's, my desire is that, "no one should perish." (2 Peter 3:9).
In the midst of all of the pain and the suffering that we are surrounded by, God is so good. My heart has been burdened by the condition of the world and the condition of those near and dear to me. God has given me special time to spend with Him this week in order to interceed. Monday, I found myself back at Valley Forge. Two hours of worshipping, praying, and exercising... btw, some of those hills are no joke. And then yesterday I began to feel overwhelmed and again, God gave me a place to go to be with just Him. The more time I spend in His presence, the deeper in love with Him I fall. This study we're doing on prayer has been a great reminder of what it looks like to align my heart with God's. My desires are His desires. His will be done.
I still have those tricky areas where my human nature creeps in, thus causing some worry and anxiety, of course, but God is compassionate and patient with me. How comforting that He knows my every want and need and that He is sovereign over all! Sweet relief.
I really do long to be more like the woman described in Proverbs 31... hardworking, humble, strong, wise, dignified, nurturing. O Lord, keep making me.
I'm sure some of you have heard the song "Try" by Colbie Caillat. If not, here's the video.
I love the heart and the message of this song. It makes me think of ALL of the different things (not just hair and make-up) that we try to hide behind in order to feel lovely and important/worthy.
Don't we all have insecurities that we live with and that keep us from being free to be our best? I do! From my physical appearance to my musical ability and everything in between. My mind has been busy with thoughts of these insecurities lately... so much so that I've found myself becoming a bit inward at times.
As I've been praying through some of this, the Lord has been speaking to my heart about these areas of insecurity. Though we live in a worldly culture, the culture of Christ doesn't define things in the same way. Culture says I should wear a certain size, have my hair done a certain way, that my skin should be perfect and accented by amazingly long eye lashes, that I should be climbing the corporate ladder, and making lots of money. Jesus says, "I love You. I love every inch of you. I love your soul. I am enough and it's through me that you are made whole" None of that other stuff matters to Him. He chooses to love me no matter what I look like, who I marry, or how much money I make. He chooses to use me and all of my imperfections to further His kingdom. All He asks is that I love, trust, and put my faith in Him. And then through that commitment comes a deep, intimate relationship with Jesus that bears much fruit. Amazing, right?
Oh Jesus, help me to love like you and to look at the beauty of You working in others.
I want to be defined by Christ in me, not by the things of Earth. That's the desire of my heart. I want to love Jesus so deeply that it reflects in each and every interaction I have.
"But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ’s
triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him
everywhere. For we are to God the
pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are
perishing." 2 Corinthians 2:14-15
Writing has always been quite therapeutic for me, as I'm sure it is for many people. Yesterday I spent a great deal of time looking through some of my writings from the past few years in order to reflect on all of the cool stuff God has done. I wasn't disappointed as I came across something that brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my face.
I have this locked document that, for the time being, is just between me and Jesus. Looking through and seeing the movement of the Spirit and the changing movement of my heart, I once again found myself falling more in love with God.
About a year ago I had a special encounter with someone very dear to me. This had been something I had been praying about for a long time. We met to talk about Jesus, though they didn't know that was the purpose at the time. We started off by reflecting on life thus far... good times and bad. We talked about things that have been (and will continue to be) really difficult and we talked about things that are joyful and a bit less heavy. The conversation flowed very easily and naturally for us. As they continued to open up to me, I prayed for an opportunity to bring Jesus into our time.
That opportunity came and the results changed me forever. Being a person who has grown up (somewhat) in the church, they knew about Jesus, but they had never made a connection between their head knowledge and their heart. We talked a lot about what it means to know Jesus as Savior. They asked some very honest questions, straight from the heart and I did my best to answer them as the Spirit led. Then they said something to me that I will never forget...
They said they had never "accepted Christ in their heart," that they had wanted to, but the reason they never had was that it was "just too hard to believe." When I heard those words, my heart sank a little bit. I hadn't planned on that response from them. So I asked, "what, exactly, is too hard for you to believe?" I watched their face as they thought through their perfectly worded answer. A look of awe and peace came over them as they gave me their response, "that Jesus would do that... it's just too awesome."
I remember my eyes welling up with tears and trying to keep it together so as not to make anyone uncomfortable. It was a struggle to keep myself from throwing my arms around them and jumping up and down with joy... even though that's what was happening in my heart at the time. As I composed myself internally I said to them, "you know what? You're right, but Jesus is more than awesome enough to do that for us! How cool is that?!"
We left the place where this conversation played out, got in my car, and I prepared to take them home. I remember God nudging me, saying, "this conversation isn't over." I didn't want to push them into anything based on emotion or based on what they thought I would want to hear, so I said that to them and let them know that I was available whenever they were ready to pray it out, be it then, or any time in the future. They stopped me and said they were ready right then, in that moment. So we held hands and prayed together. Another name was written in the Book of Life that night as the angels rejoiced.
"It's hard to believe that Jesus would do that... it's just too awesome." I agree wholeheartedly with this dear one and pray that we would all stop and take a minute to reflect on just how awesome He is. Thanks be to God for this person who I love so deeply. Thanks be to God for their honest words that cause me to stop dead in my tracks a year later and praise the Lord!
