Poignant Words

"You're beautiful."  "Your voice just isn't strong enough or what we're looking for."  "You don't look like a pastor."  "You are amazing."  "I'm disappointed in you."  "I think you're too independent for your own good."  "Your heart for Jesus is beautiful."  "I love you."  "No one will ever love you."  "You're not pretty or thin enough."  "You make me laugh like no one else can."  "You're not what I'm looking for."  "God speaks clearly through you."  "You're so easy to be around."  "You're too cynical."

The list could go on.  These are just a tiny few of the phrases I've had spoken to me at some point in my life.  They are things that have stuck with me.  Some I'd like to forget.  Others, I'd like to live up to better than I am right now.  For quite some time now, I've allowed one specific statement to define me.  It's in every part of my life every single day.  It runs through my mind multiple times a day.  Sometimes I can silence it, other times I believe it with every fiber of my being.  Sometimes it's enough to stop me dead in my tracks, other times I can move forward, unflinchingly.

It's the times when it takes over everything else I'm doing that I have to stop and ask God for help.  When I try to move forward on my own, I'm stuck believing the falsehood of such a statement... and boy, does it hurt!  It seems like no matter how much head-knowledge I have, my heart doesn't want to believe the truth.  I let someone else's words and thoughts about me, define who I really am and how I act.  I've been somehow convicted of that this week.  I'm guilty of not resting in who God says that I am.  I'm guilty of not trusting His very words for my life, for allowing lies to seep in and take over my person.  To a certain extent, I think we're all guilty of this, but that doesn't mean I'm justified in my thoughts/actions as a response.

Just this week, I was on the phone with one of my best friends and we were discussing what it was like when she saw one of our other friends.  I asked a lot of questions about our other friend since I've not seen her since just after college, I think.  My bff described this other person as "pretty much the same, only a bit more grown up."  It made me think about how people would describe me to someone who used to know me at a different time in my life.  Would I still be described as a daughter of the King, fun-loving, laughable, sassy, reliable, easy to talk to, etc., or would I be described as someone completely different?  I like to think I'm still all of those things... just in a somewhat "grown-up" form, but who knows.  I'm not looking for affirmation or confirmation, I'm simply writing out some thoughts.

What or WHO do you allow to define you?  Is it the words and actions of others?  Or are you somehow less impressionable than me?  I would love to be able to say that I'm uninhibited by other people, but I can't.  God is doing a work in me and I'm doing my best to allow Him to without my mind interfering.  The truth is the ONLY thing that matters is what God thinks.  Who I am in Christ Jesus outweighs all else... when I allow it to (and even when I don't).  This link is to a long list of scripture that talks about just who we are in Christ.  I enjoyed reading through this list and resting in the fact that these are truths from the Lord, given to His people, whom He loves.

Since I've been stuck on this subject, it's really got me thinking about the poignancy of words, be it spoken or written.  Words have the power to alter someone in irreversible ways.  They can make you feel so loved, and yet they can cut you down and knock the life out of you.  When you speak to someone, do you think about the results your words may produce?  Do you think about the long-term effects (either good or bad), or do you only think about the emotion you're feeling as you say those words?

In this very well-known passage from James 3, he talks very clearly about the power of words.
"Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.  

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.  Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be."  James 3:5-10

I want to be thoughtful of every word I speak.  I want to be who I've been made to be in Christ and for that to show by my actions and words.  Only by God's strength.