We and They

"We and They"

by Rudyard Kipling

Father, Mother, and Me,

Sister and Auntie say

All the people like us are We,

And everyone else is They.

And They live over the sea

While we live over the way,

But—would you believe it?—They look upon We

As only a sort of They!

We eat pork and beef

With cow-horn-handled knives.

They who gobble Their rice off a leaf

Are horrified out of Their lives;

While they who live up a tree,

feast on grubs and clay,

(Isn't it scandalous?) look upon We

As a simply disgusting They!

We eat kitcheny food.

We have doors that latch.

They drink milk and blood

Under an open thatch.

We have doctors to fee.

They have wizards to pay.

And (impudent heathen!) They look upon We

As a quite impossible They!

All good people agree,

And all good people say,

All nice people, like us, are We

And everyone else is They:

But if you cross over the sea,

Instead of over the way,

You may end by (think of it!) looking on We

As only a sort of They! 

While in my office the other day, I had my music turned up nice and loud and I was working across the room on a bulletin board.  All of a sudden the computer started ringing the familiar Skype ringtone.  I don't normally get random Skype calls.  Skype dates are usually scheduled well in advance.  It was a friend of mine who moved to China last month to do mission work for a couple of years.  I originally met him during my first year in Uganda and he's been a good friend ever since.  Of course I accepted the random call and it was a pleasure to hear about his new ministry.  In the course of the impromptu chat he asked if he could read a poem.  I thought it was a little weird, but also knew he was a little goofy from being up in the middle of the night there so I said yes and he began to read.  It became obvious as he read why he had chosen to share it with me.  For anyone who has ever worked in any capacity outside of their "native" (we) world (whether rural to urban, rich to poor, American to non-American, Christian to non-Christian etc.), you probably understand a bit of the "We and They" concept.

I've read and reread this at least a dozen times this week.  Of course I feel like I understand this (though I've probably only scratched the surface) because of my time in Africa, but it also easily applies to moving and ministering here in South Jersey... a very different culture to me.  It's astonishing how quickly we place others in the "they" category in (or out of) our lives.  In thinking more and more about the meaning of this poem in my life, it's become clear to me that this speaks so loudly of the things Christ came to abolish in this world.  I think in His eyes humanity is all "they".  I think He wants us to strive to be "We" (emphasis on the capital w to denote Christ-likeness and sanctification), but recognizes our imperfect human nature.  We are all "they".  One is not better than the other.  I'm always shocked and deeply saddened when I hear of present-day prejudices and racism.  It makes me physically ill to think about how prevalent these problems are all around the world in such a time of connectivity.  We have every bit of information available at our fingertips and we still choose to categorize one another.  

My prayer tonight is that Jesus would enable us to see the world through His perfect eyes.  That He would show us the hearts of His people and not just their outer appearance, material wealth, upbringing, social status, etc..  That we would love first instead of passing judgement or writing someone "we" think of as "they" off.

This passage has been close to my heart lately:  

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

 This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit.  And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world.  If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God.  And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love.  Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.   This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus.  There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

We love because he first loved us.  Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.  And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.”

-1 John 4:7-21 (NIV, emphasis mine)

Help me love, Lord.

Just Smile

This past week was very hectic, to say the least.  Not that it was bad, but it's mostly a blur now except for a few instances.  One divine meeting stands out in my mind.  I made a big-ish decision for myself and in doing so had some stuff to get done to see things through.  That's where our story begins... ;)

I found myself standing in line waiting to speak to someone about moving forward.  My mind was racing- going over all of the possibilities, thinking about my ministry, thinking about the condition of my heart, thinking about the very successful and exciting meeting I had had with a student just an hour before.  I was "in the zone," so to speak, and not so aware of my surroundings.  After a few minutes of being ignorant, I glanced up.  The room was a flurry of people moving about, discussing the ins and outs of their decisions.  I'm easily entertained and I love people-watching so instead of pulling out my phone and playing on facebook, I brought my mind to the present and observed.

Behind me in line stood a woman who looked to be in her late 40's or very early 50's.  She was about my height, maybe a bit shorter.  The wear and tear of life was evident in her voice and on her still beautiful face.  She had a look of determination in her eyes.  She was chatting rather loudly, but very lovingly to her young teenaged daughter, Ashley (she had called her by name as I eavesdropped).  Her daughter did not look excited to be so stationary, but was respectful and even offered to be helpful.  After a few minutes, Ashley went and sat down, playing on her phone and waiting for her mom to be finished.  Clearly a bit nervous, Anthonia was flipping through her paperwork and fidgeting with her phone.  We made eye contact and I shot her an understanding and encouraging smile.  (I had decided that I should just smile instead of saying anything so that I could go back to being in my own world and people-watching.)  God had other plans.

That smile sparked a conversation.  Anthonia began speaking and sharing what she was doing there, what had led her there, and the drive behind her decisions.  I listened carefully and was very engaged in the conversation, but just figured she needed to unload for a few minutes and that would be that.  She asked me a few questions about myself and we bonded over the fact that we're both from big cities, Chicago and New York, and unused to such small-town living.  We agreed that it's a nice change of pace, etc..  Turns out that she and Ashley only live about 10 minutes from me.  She then went into more detail about her recent arrival in South Jersey.  It became obvious to be that this woman was searching... for answers, for Truth, and for real Love.

I began asking more intentional questions as the Holy Spirit prompted.  I asked her about Ashley.  Anthonia revealed Ashley's nerves about starting at a new school (the very same school I happen to sub at once a week!) and making new friends.  I told her that I know some of the kids from the school because they're in my youth group.  I then explained my about my job and how God had very clearly led me here "for such a time as this."  Anthonia had taken Ashley to another youth group the previous week and she had a good time, but was nervous to go back because of the small size of that youth group.  She asked me many questions about my ministry and I could hardly contain myself while talking about it.

She was so excited and clearly amazed that I was there, that God had placed each of us there for that meeting.  She gave me her card and wrote her cell number and new address on it.  I gave her my info and encouraged her to be in touch.  I was next in line and our conversation started to slow.  We wished each other well as I walked away and my focus quickly turned back to the task at hand, but the conversation has lingered in my head and on my heart ever since.

There is no doubt in my mind that the Lord ordained that meeting.  I still don't know why and I don't have to, but I'm really looking forward to whatever comes next.  God has this way of bringing me out of myself and opening my eyes to the needs and hearts of those around me.  There is nothing extraordinary about me (aside from the wonderful of joy of Christ in my life- which is huge, I know) that sets me apart from others, but it seems like God is constantly bringing people to me to vent/share.  There must be some level of comfort or something that I exude and I'm so thankful.  I see it not at all as a burden, but as a sweet gift from Jesus.  I love being someone that others trust and feel comfortable with.  What an honor that they trust me, but more importantly, that God trusts me with people's hearts.  I don't claim to do or say anything great and often times I'm at a loss, but God always reveals the right words (or clamps my mouth shut when the need is simply for a listening ear).

Praise the Lord that He chooses to use me.  May I never take advantage of that or lose sight of the eternal qualities that each meeting and conversation has.  And praise the Lord that He uses me even when I'm wrapped up in my own life... even when I just shoot off a smile to stay closed off.  Praise the Lord that each soul matters and that even when I'm being ignorant, His work is done.  What a precious reminder that He chooses us... that He pursues us, in spite of ourselves.  Praise the Lord that He lets me see things through His eyes, even if it takes a little slap in the face to wake me up.

God is pursuing those around us.  Are we willing to plant seeds?  Even in people we don't know... or in people we don't particularly care for?  My prayer tonight is that my eyes and my heart would be open and sensitive to those around me, to both those I know and those I don't.  It can only be done in God's strength and to Him be the glory.  I sent Anthonia a card in the mail... we'll see what happens.  Whatever happens (or doesn't), God is in control and I'm resting in that fact.  Thanks Jesus.

[Wo]man on the Run

"Stay in America for now.  Be willing to be settled in New Jersey," said the Lord.  To which I responded, "Whaaaa?  Come again?  Jersey?  Are you sure??"

My journey started long before I accepted my current position.  Jesus has been preparing my heart for this time in my life since I was born.  He knew the challenges and heartache I would face (and will still face) and He also knew the joyous victories He would win (and will continue to win).

Since I turned 16, I've been on the go.  My parents moved to Arizona after my sophomore year of high school (for my father's health), but allowed me to stay in Illinois and finish school with my friends.  Back and forth to Arizona multiple times a year, I never felt settled.  After high school I moved to small-town Indiana to attend a private Christian university.  I was only a year and a half in before I decided I needed a change.  I moved back to AZ, lived at home, and attended Arizona State University.  One semester and many bad decisions later, I was back in Indiana where I would finish my degree.  Indiana was the first place I felt settled in my "adult" life.  I lived there nearly 7 years total, working for a while after college before moving back to Illinois.

When I moved back to Illinois, my second niece was born, thus my parents bought a house in IL again.  With my family back and me accepting a job in ministry, you'd think I would have been content and ready to settle.  Not so much.  A year into that position and the Lord called me (very clearly) to Uganda.  Without a third thought (because I'm sure there was a second thought), I moved to Africa for a year.  When that incredible, life changing year was up, I wanted nothing more than to be back in Africa asap.  I was back in IL for about 16 months, working for my family (for the "family business" if you will), and doing youth ministry with my home church.  I got nice and comfortable and into a routine, but went back to Uganda gladly, knowing that Jesus was asking me to go again.  It was a bit of a rough year, to put it mildly, but the Lord moved and I saw MANY lives changed and experienced things I never could have imagined, glory to God.

Coming home from Uganda was necessary, but very painful.  It's a weird feeling to have your heart split in half... I guess that's the best way to describe it.  My heart literally aches to be back in Africa sometimes and I miss my African family more than I'll ever let on.  It was in that time of reverse culture shock, anger, relief, confusion, uncertainty, etc. that Jesus opened the door to come to South Jersey.  It's miraculous and perfect because He timed it that way.  There's no denying that I have been placed here "for such a time as this."  Thinking of the old testament story of Queen Esther's rise to power and her choice to "risk it all" for the Jews, I'm somehow assured of my place here.  God doesn't make mistakes.  Duh.

So for just over a year now I've been living and working in small-town South Jersey for such a time as this.  Within the first month of being here, I had plenty of very significant interactions with people and new relationships began to form.  God sure didn't let up after that first month either.  He continues to move and inspire awe in me.  He reveals more of His plan slowly by slowly, as the Africans say.  Bit by bit, it's like living in a perpetual cliffhanger, but somehow I'm okay with it.

The norm for me has been to move on after about a year, right?  And in some of those cases it was because I had something to move on from.  It's easier to cut ties when you don't commit for too long, yeah?  There's less chance of getting hurt, but if you've already been hurt, it somehow makes it easier to leave.  Twice in the past year I have seriously questioned God's placement and timing.  In spite of myself, He's continued to reassure me.  (In reality it's a bit silly to doubt the Creator of the universe, but when tough times come it's all too natural... thank you, human nature.)

There are some VERY exciting things ahead in ministry and I'm so blessed and honored to be a part of them.  Despite the current condition of my heart, God moves freely.  As I wrestle with what it actually means to be settled (building a family, getting a master's degree or two, etc.??) I rest in His arms.  Thankfully, my past doesn't define my future.  I've been given the opportunity to be obedient and to move forward.  I'm free from past sin, guilt, and shame.  It's a freedom I briefly wrote about here before accepting this position.  People's definitions of me don't define me because I know who I am in Christ and it's Him I answer to.  The things I once chose aren't the things I choose now.  I digress.

As I look back on another post from when I accepted this job and then think about events that have transpired since being here, it's undeniable, praise the Lord, that I'm supposed to be settled here.  Figuring out "being settled" won't happen with the snap of my fingers or the throwing of any tantrums.

So now I look ahead, but not too far ahead.  I eagerly anticipate the things to come.  My heart still takes some convincing once in a while, but thankfully Jesus is patient with me.