Becoming Pliable

This morning I find myself sitting in the stillness of the sanctuary.  It's a bit chilly, but ever so peaceful.  The only sounds I hear are coming from the traffic on the road and the steady deep breathing of my faithful companions, always by my side.  There's an air of excitement in this place... this holy dwelling place of the God most high.  There is so much to look forward to and many things to do, but today I just want to sit in His presence.  I want to rest.  Really rest.  Honestly, I've allowed myself time to be incredibly lazy lately, and yet I don't feel rested.  Perhaps it's because I'm always thinking about the next thing.

Last semester ended very well and I'm pleased with my near perfect GPA.  It's by God's grace and God's grace alone that I made it through the semester.  It was hard.  Like I mentioned in my last post, not only was it hard academically, but emotionally as well... much more so than I anticipated.  It was good though.  Self awareness is always good.  I want to be a really good counselor.  This program is helping to ensure that that desire will be fulfilled as I continue to work hard and as God continues to shape me.  

Being pliable is not always easy for me.  But as I reflect on God as the Potter and me as the clay... I am thankful that His hands never stop molding me- even when I become hardened and stubborn, He doesn't take His hand from me.  The story of the prodigal son has been running through my head these last couple of weeks.  Meditating on the role of the Father in that story has been so humbling and beautiful as the world swirls around me.  The picture in my head of God standing with His arms open, peacefully, yet eagerly waiting for His child's embrace is so powerful that I can't stop my eyes from leaking at the thought of it.  Constant.  Mighty.  Loving.  Graceful.  Merciful.  Perfect.  Enough.

Towards the end of last semester, right before Thanksgiving, my senior pastor was hospitalized and diagnosed with lymphoma.  It all happened rather quickly and before I knew it, I was being asked to fill in for him in his absence.  That first week was stressful.  I was informed on a Friday night that I would be preaching the following Sunday.  Saturday, I had a full 10 hour day of class and I still had 2 other papers to write for school.  But by the leading of the Holy Spirit, the message God had for His people became clear and the sermon was written that Friday night just before midnight.

From there on out, it was a waiting game.  Still unsure how the district would have the church proceed and if they would in fact allow me, an unordained, non-clergy member to fill in, I planned an advent sermon series.  As the diagnosis became clear and a treatment plan was laid out for the pastor, the district superintendent, the church leadership, and myself met a number of times to hammer out a plan.  It was officially decided that I would fill in for our pastor.

So here I am, a second semester grad student working full time as a youth pastor, assistant pastor, and now as a lead pastor.  The church is rallying around me and I don't think I've ever felt so supported in my life.  It is an honor and a blessing to serve with such amazing people of God.  This new role is intimidating and I don't always feel very equipped for it, but thankfully, by the power of the Holy Spirit, He's enabled me to step up.  

I think the reason I'm writing today is twofold.  First, to remind myself of the power of God and the strength of His hand.  Second, to ask for prayer.  The next few months are going to be extremely difficult.  Balancing preaching, planning, outreach, administrative tasks, youth ministry, school, health, and having a life is going to be hard.  I'm not so good at the time management.  Would you stand with me in prayer during this time?  And the church too?  He must increase, but I must decrease.

"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.  Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever!  Amen."  Ephesians 3:20-21