I subbed for an English teacher and I had mostly seniors today. My job was of course simple, press play, fast forward, and write bathroom passes, but I'm really glad I'm doing this again. I saw and talked to about 5 of my youth kids from church... they were surprised to see me and did a pretty good job of introducing me to their friends (which is the whole point of me being there). A fire alarm was pulled and there was a pep rally at the end of the day, so things moved pretty quickly which was nice. One of my friends was subbing there today too and I'm glad. It was nice to not stand alone at the pep rally. I sometimes struggle to be really outgoing (shocking, I know) with the actual classroom teachers because I'm self-conscious about being "just a sub" when I'm there. Subs are generally looked down upon, at least from what I've been told... so I'm not good at socializing with them. The fact that there was someone else around that I already know, put me at ease today.
I had talked with a couple of the kids about going to the homecoming game tonight, but then their plans changed, so here I sit. I'm actually ok with it because after waking up at 5:30am, I'm good to just chill tonight.
Something that today brought on that I did not expect in the least is homesickness. Being in the school made me miss my students in Uganda, both at the international school and at the refugee center. I miss playing with them, basketball and volleyball. I miss the ridiculous laughter that ensues when I would try to explain things that the language barrier tried to prevent. I miss sharing meals and learning new cultural things.
It also made me miss my youth kids back in Illinois (and Indiana). I miss just hanging out with them... being a part of their lives. I've been blessed to stay in pretty good touch with most of them, skyping and texting fairly regularly. I often get texts from them expressing how much they miss me... but today it really hit me. These are kids who were willing to travel 9,000 miles to see me, and parents who trusted me enough to let that happen. These are kids who planned their trips home from college around my schedule, road-tripped with me, had my birthday party at their house, drove out to my house to go fishing, play night frisbee, hike, watch movies, have slumber parties. Kids I love so much... and miss very dearly.
I'm anticipating those kinds of relationships with the kids here, eventually... very much looking forward to it.
Being away from friends and family is tough too. I have a voicemail saved on my phone from my youngest niece because her little voice is so precious and I miss her. I (kind of) miss living at home and always having someone around. (I say that now, but if that were the case I'd be longing to get out again.) I miss talking to my parents/siblings at the end of the day and watching football as a family. I miss building giant forts with my nieces, drawing with chalk, and going to the playground. I miss doing ridiculous things like coming home to see them running through the sprinkler in the back yard... and putting on my swim suit and sneak attacking them, and hearing their laughter and screams of surprise.
I love my job. I love my church. I even love my crazy dog. I'm ok with being sad sometimes because I know without a doubt that this is where God has placed me. So tonight I'm resting in that fact. God is good... and I'm allowed to miss those I love dearly. I'm actually feeling a little blessed by this bout of homesickness because it means I've been given lots of amazing people in my lifetime so far.
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