If We Are the Body

Last night was another one of those nights where the Lord woke me and gave me the opportunity to pray.  I was so tired that it was hard to focus, but I spent quite a bit of time in prayer before finally falling back asleep.  At 2am the burden seems heavy, but when God carries me through a day without feeling completely exhausted it's more than okay with me.  I do have to admit that I'm excited for a time when I'm able to sleep really well for like an entire week.  But I digress.  

I got to work later than I wanted to because I rolled out of bed later than normal.  When I got there I was greeted at the door by my senior pastor and two strangers, a man and a woman.  I said hello and continued down the stairs to my office.  About a minute later the senior pastor asked me if I would ride with him to take the couple somewhere.  I agreed of course, and we left after I was properly introduced to them.  

We were headed to a motel to get them a room for a week.  Turns out they lost everything they had and had been living in a boarded up house without electricity, gas, water, or food.  The woman had come to the church on Sunday and left with tears in her eyes after the youth Sunday service because she was so blessed by the Word brought by one of the young adults.  I continued to listen to their story, my heart breaking more and more with each word spoken.  What really hit me hard was when the man said that they had gone to another church in town, but were turned away because the man in charge was "busy".  Um, what??  Granted, I don't know what he was dealing with... maybe there was a huge crisis, but unfortunately that response is typical from him according to locals.  But really, what?!

Immediately the words of Jesus flooded my mind...

^"35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

³⁷ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹ When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

⁴⁰ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’" Matthew 25:35-40

To me, scripture is clear... more than clear actually.  I've lived among some of the poorest people on earth and I tell you the truth, they are the most generous people I know.  They have nothing to give, but will give you everything if you ask.  I guess that's the difference between knowing what you want and knowing what you absolutely need.  

I believe turning this couple away would have basically been a slap in the face to Jesus.  How can we, as the body of Christ turn people in need away?  How can we be ignorant to the needs of those around us?  It happens everyday and I know I'm guilty of overlooking people.   I may not have any savings right now (thanks to mission work, which I don't regret at all), but I do have shelter, food, water, electricity, gas, internet, cable, etc..  I'm one up on most of the people in this world.

(This isn't to say that we should be naive and allow ourselves to be taken advantage of, but we need be prayerful and obedient at the same time.)

In my opinion, the Church in this country is a sleeping giant.  When you're asleep, nothing is happening.  There's no moving forward.  Revival can't happen while we're not moving.  I don't know what it's going to take, but I pray that it's awakened soon.  I pray that those of us who wouldn't necessarily count ourselves as sleeping would be bold, would study, pray, preach, teach, baptize, and move... fulfill the Great Commission with urgency!

I'm not really a fan of Casting Crowns, but I like the lyrics of this song and they definitely apply.

Basement Demons... For Your Entertainment.

Picture if you will, me sitting on the edge of my recliner, completely covered from head to toe except for my eyes and my finger tips.  Why am I in this ridiculous position, you may ask?  Well let me tell you the story of my life for the past few hours.

This actually started a couple of days ago as I began to internally debate whether to put up my Christmas tree or not.  I love decorating for Christmas and I especially love decorating Christmas trees.  It's one of my favorite childhood memories... my parents, sister, brother, and I listening to Christmas records, decorating the tree, setting up the electric train around the tree, and drinking hot chocolate.  Sounds lovely, yeah?  But then I got to thinking about the fact that I would be decorating alone, for only me to see, and I won't even be here on Christmas.  What's the point, right?  Not to mention that the tree is in my basement which means having to go down near the crickets.  I had pretty much decided against it, until I got to thinking how bah-humbug-y that sounded.

So this afternoon, after a VERY busy, hectic, beautiful morning, I decided to unwind by watching football and bringing up the tree.  As is completely necessary in order to go in the basement, I suited up in a hoodie, tied tight, shoes, and my hands in my sleeves, holding a broom.  I knew I was going to have to sweep some of the dead crickets away before I would be able to drag the pieces of the giant tree up.  So without much of a freak out, I was able to do that.  I got the tree set up, arranged the branches, got out my ornaments, and went and bought some candy canes.  After the ornaments and candy canes were arranged just right I sat down to enjoy my beautiful tree, relax, talk on the phone, and watch football.

This is when disaster struck.  I glanced over at the dog and out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement.  Turning my focus toward the movement, I was horrified to see a GIANT cricket creeping along my living room floor.

Let me just stop here and explain what happens when I come in contact with a cricket (cockroach, spider, etc.)... my heart rate increases very rapidly, adrenaline rushes through my veins, full panic sets in, breathing becomes difficult.  Even as I type this, I know just how ridiculous that sounds.  I am aware that crickets aren't poisonous, that they don't seek out humans, that they will normally jump away and avoid anything that moves.  I am aware that my fear is completely irrational, but it is what it is.

So upon seeing the cricket in my living room  panic set in pretty quickly.  I was on the phone when I started shouting at the dog to get it. She tried, but it got away.  Since it all happened so quickly I didn't know where the cricket had gone.  The only thing worse than actually seeing one, is knowing that one is around, but not being able to locate it and steer clear of it.  So I went back to talking on the phone, but went and got my bug spray and sprayed where I thought it had gone.

I hung up with that friend and called another one back.  Almost as soon as the second call connected, the cricket came out and was moving toward the couch, where I was sitting.  In my panic, I screamed, hung up the phone, dropped my laptop on the floor, and ran out of the room.  I grabbed the broom, deciding that I had to at least stun it so that the dog could get at it.  When I got back into the living room with the broom I swung at it, but it hopped away, attaching to the couch, climbing up the side of the couch.  For whatever reason, this sent me into a full panic attack.  It wasn't just rushing adrenaline and a rapid heart rate.  I couldn't breathe properly and embarrassingly, my eyes filled with tears.  I'm usually very good at controlling my tears (and emotions), but the fear had set in and I couldn't stop them from flowing.  It was so bizarre.  I swung again with the broom and knocked it on the floor, but it started coming towards me which sent me screaming out of the room again.  The dog did her best, but it got away again, causing further panic.

I sat down on the stairs to gain control and stop the ridiculous response that my body was having.  I called my dad (mostly because I was supposed to call him back from earlier in the day) and told him about the cricket.  He knows how crippling my fear of them is and was very sympathetic, but of course couldn't do anything about it from 900 miles away.  Talking to him calmed me down pretty quickly.  While on the phone, a church member beeped in.  I immediately answered, hoping that they might be willing to come and rescue me.  (How embarrassing for me, right?  Ugh.)  She and her daughter were at the church to drop something off and had a question.  They came over and did a cricket search for me, but didn't find anything.

So here I sit on the edge of my seat, feet off the floor, covered from head to toe, trying to avoid coming in contact with the little demon again.  I have the broom next to me, just in case.  I'm hoping that it fell down in a vent or something and is back in the basement, but I'm incredibly jumpy and very unsettled even an hour later.

Sitting here staring at my pretty tree, that bah-humbug-y feeling is back.  I'll bet anything that the cricket came upstairs with that tree.  Moral of the story??  From now on, anything that's in my basement, stays in my basement.

As embarrassing as this story is for me, I figured it would be entertaining for you.  You're welcome.

Sleep

This Sunday is youth Sunday at church.  I've spent the last few weeks preparing the kids for their roles in the service.  They've done a good job and have worked hard.  I'm excited to see how things play out and how the congregation reacts.  The service won't follow our traditional order of worship, but I think it's a good thing.  I recently had a couple of the older folks in the church request me to introduce the kids by name so they can put faces with names that they've all read about before.  What a blessing to have a congregation who wants to know who is who in the youth program, especially considering the general demographic of which we're made up.

This week leading up to youth Sunday has been fantastic, exhausting, but fantastic.  Monday evening was fun... I spent it with a friend, working on music for this Sunday and watching Da Bears lose again. Ok, so the bad football game wasn't so fun, but the company was good, so I can't complain.  After having the music figured out, I was much less stressed.  Getting home late that night meant about 5 hours of sleep leading into Tuesday.  I think it worked to my advantage though.  As much as I hate to admit it, I get a lot done when I only get a little sleep.  I rocked out pretty much all the work that I needed to get done before leaving town for Thanksgiving.  Tuesday was capped off with a lovely ecumenical worship service with my church and about 4 other churches in the area.

For whatever reason (I tend to believe it's a mixture of a sore throat and nerves) I didn't sleep well again on Tuesday night, but again, on Wednesday I found that I got more stuff done than I even realized needed to be done.  Not to mention, doing laundry, cleaning my house, and traveling to Hershey, PA.  

I got to Hershey where I met up with my best friend, her husband, and their 2 kids who are up this way visiting his family.  It was a huge blessing to be invited to stay with the family they were staying with and share Thanksgiving with them.  This is the second year in a row that I've not been around my immediate family which seems strange.  Last year I was in Uganda with the other missionaries and my African family... always lots of fun, tons of food, and good worship.  Anyways, being with Stacy and her family is like being home, despite being in a stranger's home.  She and I have known each other for nearly 20 years and I consider her my sister.  I had been struggling with the fact that I wasn't going to be with blood relatives, but God sweetly reminded who my family is, who my brothers and sisters are.  "For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”  Matthew 12:50.  Amen, right?

I don't normally sleep well when I'm not at home so as I expected, Wednesday night I got about 4 hours of sleep and last night I got 2, at best.  When you're the only person awake in a house full of people it seems silly not to spend quiet time with the Lord.  So much of the night last night was spent in prayer... for friends, family, burdens the Lord has placed in my heart, African matters, and youth Sunday were among the most popular items.  In my last post I mentioned how much of a blessing it is to feel led to pray very specifically for others and I have to say, even though it meant no sleep, I was honored to have so much time to bring you all before God's throne.


Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2

Needless to say, I'm beyond exhausted tonight.  I did rest a bit today, but chose not to nap so that I would sleep really well tonight.  I do not like black Friday shopping, but there were a few items I needed to pick up in preparation for Stacy and her fam to come stay here tomorrow night and I have been looking for new shoes.  I went out around noon today to grab those things... HUGE mistake.  I got back in my car and drove home when I saw the crowds and lines, but not before finding shoes that I wanted and stashing them so no one else would buy them before I came back.  Yeah, I'm that person.  Being tired and dealing with crowds of (most likely) rude people did NOT seem appealing.  I went back out around 5... what a difference!  Walmart was pretty dead and I was able to get the things I needed (and a few things I didn't need... cheap dvds are a weakness of mine).  I then decided to try Kohls again.  Success... I got new $105 running shoes for half off.  

Even now, I'm feeling anxious about Sunday morning.  Partly, I feel like this service will reflect directly on me, even though it's not about me at all.   Will you join me in praying for the youth and for the amazing adults who have been so supportive and helpful as we prepare?  Pray for the musicians, for the kid's nerves, for the body of Christ to be pointed towards the throne, for His face to be seen above all else.  Pray for me as I make last minute preparations in the church tomorrow afternoon (I have to wait to set up because there's a wedding) as well as anticipate Stacy and her family's arrival.  I'm very excited to show my bff where I live and work now.  Lastly, would you pray for healing?  I've been fighting what I think will eventually turn into a cold/sinus thing.   Really I just need it to hold off until Sunday afternoon. 
I'll leave you with this song from the 90's by a guy called Riley Armstrong.  If you skip to about a minute into the song you'll see why this is my theme song right now.

Blessing of Burdens

While I was driving the other day, the guy on the radio asked, "have you prayed about it as much as you've talked about it?"  Ummmm... yikes, right?

More often than not, my answer would probably have to be no.  I spend a great deal of time talking to others near and far.  It seems so natural to pick up the phone and call someone when I have something pressing (and sometimes not so pressing) to discuss or think through.  I think it's what most of us do.  Seeking the advice and counsel of others is not a bad thing at all, but when I think of the amount of time I talk with some people about some things, it's obvious where my priorities are.

However, lately I would say that my answer is leaning more towards yes.  I've been feeling very burdened for others and I'm so blessed by it.  Of course I have my normal list of people and things that I pray for and about, but more recently God has been speaking to me very clearly about how to be praying for people more specifically.  I'm pretty intuitive and I'm very much a feeling person... I can most likely read how you're doing simply because I try really hard to pay attention to the details of my interactions with you and/or your interactions with others.  I've been loving spending so much time in prayer, seeking the Lord, pleading on other's behalf, and seeking wisdom and discernment.

How can feeling burdened for someone be a blessing?  I love when the Lord puts people on my heart because it opens up opportunities to know them better and love them deeper.  I am often drawn into God's presence by the needs of others.  It's such a privilege to know and understand someone well enough to pray very specifically for them.

I don't believe that God tires of hearing from His beloved bride.  He's honored when we seek Him.  He's glorified in our needs and our weaknesses.  More than that, I believe He loves when we seek to be in relationship with Him in a very real and intimate way.  I'm so thankful to Jesus for the ability to be in communication with the Almighty Creator of the universe.  Mind = blown.

The other thing that this question from Mr. Radio Man really touches on is gossip.  How many times do we hear about something or see something happen and then run and tell someone.  I've seen and experienced so many cases of incorrect rumors and information being spread, it's sickening.  Gossip spreads like wildfire, especially amongst women... yes, I admit it.  Sometimes I don't think that people think about the possible repercussions of false rumors or assumptions.  I'm a fairly confrontational person when I need to be, so I'm all about someone just asking me something about myself instead of assuming something and then sharing it with others.  Nothing annoys me more than people talking about stuff that they're unsure of.  To be fair, I'm guilty of it myself, but I really do try to be mindful of what I'm saying and how it might affect their job, their family, or affect the way that they're viewed.  It's a tricky game to speak on something you're not sure about.  More than that though, it's just sinful.  I immediately think of the third chapter of the book of James, not to mention the numerous Proverbs that deal with the tongue and gossip.

Anyways, this past week, though extremely busy was a blessing.  I had lots of meetings, but one that sticks out in my mind took place on Friday morning.  I asked a woman from the church to meet with me because I really wanted someone to pray with and God has continually spoken clearly to me through her.  She is a woman that I greatly respect, she loves the Lord, and is very obedient to His word.  What a blessing to know such a faithful sister!  As God continues to place others on my heart, I want to make sure that I, myself am staying focused on my relationship with Him and not just on other's.  It was refreshing to know that the Lord was leading me to this woman... and even more refreshing that there was a high level of comfort so that I could share a bit of my heart openly.  Hearing the words of a wise woman is so encouraging.

I'm continually amazed at how Jesus sends me people at just the right time (especially in times of little discouragements).  Although at this point, I really shouldn't be surprised anymore because He's just so amazing.  :)  Continuing into the weekend, I got to spend time with some of the youth... really just laughing and enjoying each other's company.  Such a blessing and so much fun!

So grateful.

Kayla Nicole is 8!!

8 years ago my cell phone rang and it was my sister telling me that at her ultrasound they found out that her amniotic fluid was nearly gone and that they were going to do an emergency c-section to get the baby out before it was too late.  I dropped what I was doing, got in my car, and started driving to Chicago from Indiana, where I was living at the time.  Kayla Nicole was born 5 weeks premature, but healthy.  Since she was so small she and a little jaundice she had to be in the area where only parents and grandparents are allowed.  I arrived at the hospital 4 hours later so excited to hold my first niece for the first time ever.

The nurses, despite my sister's requests, would not allow me to hold Kayla, even though none of the grandparents were around.  I saw her through the window for the first time and I couldn't help but stand there and cry because I wanted nothing more than to hold her, kiss her, and just love on her.  Watching the nurse have to draw blood from her tiny heal was the saddest moment ever.  This tiny, tiny little helpless baby was screaming and shaking like newborns do.  

Within a few hours Kayla was finally allowed to come to Liz's room.  The moment I held her I was in love!  Since that day, Kayla has been my little buddy.  I drove up from Indiana nearly every weekend after she was born and spent as much time as possible with her.  We bonded well and I honestly didn't even care that I was spending a ridiculous amount of money on gas to see her sweet little face. 

When I left for Uganda in 2008, I had no doubts that Kayla would remember me when I got home, but I was nervous about her sister, Alexandria who was only 15 months at the time.  Through the magic of facebook pictures and skype (not video because the internet wasn't good enough for that), the girls and I were able to keep in touch.  In January of 2011 when I left for yet another year in Uganda they were both old enough and I had no worries about being remembered, only about missing out on their lives.  This is now the second year in a row that I've not been home for Kayla's birthday, since I was in Africa last year, and this year I'm here in Jersey.  

I realize more and more everyday just how much I love my nieces and how difficult it is to be away from them and miss their lives.  We skype a lot, we color pictures and mail them to each other, we talk on the phone, but it's just not the same.  I miss hugging them, tucking them into bed at night, building forts with them, reading books together, going to the playground, riding bikes, and just being together.  

I got to skype with my family tonight, sing happy birthday, watch Kayla blow out her candles, and watch her open the gift I sent her.  It was almost as good as being there... almost.  It's weird to be so close to them (relatively... aka on the same continent) and not to be with them for special things like this.  At least when I was in Africa I didn't even have the option of going home for a birthday... it just wasn't feasible.  I can't wait to go home at Christmas and actually be in the same room.   

Here are a few pics of Kayla, Alex, and I over the years.  I don't have tiny baby pics right now because my computer is out being fixed.

1 year old Kayla

Kayla (2.5 years) and I in my bff, Carley's wedding

Getting ready for a birthday party

Always cheering on Da Bears!

Alexandria, me, Kayla, at a show some friends and I played in 2010

A bumble bee and a witch (2010?)

Hanging out a month before I left for Uganda again

Cheese face Kayla... I love us!

Job in Jeopardy?

Man, this has been a good week already.  I had the opportunity to preach on Sunday while our senior pastor was out of town.  As I worked on my sermon last week I struggled to make a decision about what the focus needed to be.  As with any time I'm working on a sermon, my goal is to make it relevant and to point to Christ.  What happened to be relevant for this Sunday?  Politics, right?

It's inappropriate to speak on politics from the pulpit.  It's faux pas.  It could put one's job in jeopardy if done in the wrong way.  However, it was something that I didn't want to back away from or ignore.  I'm fairly politically charged and I do my best to be educated.  Though, I do have to say it's not something I feel qualified to debate about.

All of that said, as I was looking through scripture, praying, and seeking the Lord's leading for my sermon I felt lead to talk about the responsibility of being informed... not only politically, but more importantly spiritually.  The sermon ended up being titled "Canvassing for Christ" and challenged believers to be so well informed about Jesus that they would be comfortable actually canvassing for Christ... to be so confident and passionate in what they believe that they just can't keep it to themselves and feel compelled to share it with others.

One of the little tiny sidebars in the sermon touched on the Church being united and sharing in absolutely everything.  As we look at the early Church and see how the believers prayed together, worshipped together, ate together, lived life together, kept nothing for themselves, and spread the word, how can we think it's ok to do any different?

Even using a political illustration (no party names were mentioned, but it was obvious who I was talking about) from my college days, I got good feedback from the congregation.  Who knows if they were just being nice about, but I truly believe that the Holy Spirit was speaking to some hearts and I'm grateful for the opportunity to be used by God in such a way.  I'm also relieved because this was the first time that I didn't have to make major changes to a sermon at the last minute.  God had spoken very clearly to me which put me at ease early.  Usually the Saturday before I give a sermon I'm super high strung.  This was a nice change.

So aside from the whole preaching thing, this week has been good for many other reasons.  One of those reasons is that I've blessed to witness the Church (note the capital C) step up with generosity... even for silly things.  My laptop's warranty is about to expire so I decided to take it in and request a new battery (mine got fried in Uganda) and there was also a problem with the dvd drive.  They told me it would take 2-3 weeks.  I wasn't thrilled about being without a computer for that long, (first world problems) but the reality is that I've got a smart phone so I wouldn't be without internet and I live next door to the church where I have access to a computer and internet.  Nonetheless, not having my computer would be a bit of an inconvenience.  I happened to mention that I'd be without a computer on Sunday and no more than 2 hours later a member of the congregation was on my porch with an extra laptop for me to use while mine is being fixed.  Amazing.

Another (very silly) reason for the good week is that I have a working Nintendo again!  I mentioned on fb that I was looking into getting a "new" one since mine hasn't worked in about 5 months.  Within days of it being mentioned, I had a working NES delivered to me by someone who happened to read about my "need".  Could I live without a game system, um, duh, but I do have to say that I'm super grateful for this little blessing because I enjoy mindless entertainment sometimes.

Yet another reason for this good week is that when I walked into work today I was greeted with, "Yay!!  Christina's here!!"  Followed by a wonderful group of women presenting me with a basketful of gifts.  It's a belated welcome basket and I'm very grateful and also humbled by their generosity.  Best way to start a work day?  I think, yes.  I can't imagine feeling more welcome!  :)

You think I'd be done, but alas I have more reasons to share quickly.  Relationships continue to grow.  From lunch dates with fun ladies to impromptu hang out times at my house, I love getting to know people.  The youth are always surprising me... in fact, today I got a celebratory phone call today from one of them sharing a (ridiculous) personal victory.  I love how the level of comfort is growing.  I still have so much to learn and so many relationships to build, but I'm feeling encouraged this week.  I've even had the pleasure of spending some time with two future youth kids (they're too young right now) and I'm very excited about what God is going to do.  ALSO, I got a plane ticket home for Christmas, my golden birthday, and new years eve!  I'm so excited!!

Last but definitely not least, God is good.  He is always good.  Whether this week has been good or bad, He's good.  His Word is true and constant.  He never changes, even when I do.  I'm so beyond thankful for these truths.  It's nice to rest in my Savior tonight.

When peace like a river, attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
WHATEVER my lot, Thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well with my soul.

It is well, it is well with me soul.

Though satan should buffet, though trials should come
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well, it is well with me soul.