Here and There

I woke up this morning, thought about the day ahead, and then abandoned all plans. Today I wasn't ready to face the world and all that comes with it. On a normal Sunday I get up, go to church, go to sunday school, hang out with friends, watch Da Bears, and hang with family. Of course I still plan on some of that (Da Bears, da bears, da bears, da bears!), but I needed a break this morning.
See, I'm trusting the Lord in all things... and I'm trying to wait patiently so I go about my daily life and wait. But there's something that's been on my mind for the last few days. I don't want to just go about my daily life! I want to move. I want to experience. I DO NOT want to be stuck in a routine with no way out and yet that's how I find myself this morning.
I can't smell Uganda anymore. I can't remember the smell of Lake Victoria in the morning or the feel of the moisture coming off of it. I can't hear the hundreds of different birds chirpping daily or the bats going crazy at night. I don't get to hear random cows, goats, roosters, chickens, and wild dogs. The sound of children's laughter as they play with a plastic bottle or push a tire down the broken, torn, and beat up orange path called a road is slowly fading from my memory. The brilliant colors that burst in the warmth of the equatorial sun are becoming dull and dim in the monotany of my everyday life.
Why is that? Everyday that I'm gone from there it's as though I'm settling more and more here. "Here" is not bad by any means. But "there" is where my heart beats freely. I had no idea that my life would be totally changed by an 11 month experience. How can I ache for a place as much as I do when I've spent so little time there? And how can I explain to others my passion for the place when I struggled so much when I was there the first time? These are all things that I don't know and don't understand.
What I do know is that I'm called and when God is ready for me to go, I'll go. Until then I'm clinging to these verses: "I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!" -Psalm 27:13-14
Here's a song that I've fallen in love with over the last couple of weeks.
"If You Say Go" by Vineyard
If You say go, we will go
If You say wait, we will wait
If You say step out on the water
And they say it can't be done
We'll
fix our eyes on You and we will come

Your ways are higher than our ways
And the plans that You have laid
Are good and true
If You call us to the
fire
You will not withdraw Your hand
We'll gaze into theflames and look for You

God's Little Helper

It's been back to work for me on a consistent basis for over a week now. Amazing, I know! I've actually been staying quite busy which is nice for a change. It gets boring doing the same old thing all the time so I've been working on changing that up a bit. I'm going to start substitute teaching again to make some extra money as my cash flow is critically dissipated these days. I'm honestly not sure where my money goes anymore. I've done a lot of traveling since I've been back and so understandably much of my money has gone to that, I'm sure.
Anyways here's the deal. Money is a huge source of stress for me. It always has been. I don't always stress because I don't have it though... when I was younger it was stressful because I DID have it. I don't like money. It's not important to me. I don't like having it and I don't like how people can be so driven by it. I like to be able to do what I want, when I want. I'm not a fan of being restricted by something like money. I'm a bit of a hippie in this way, I know. Obviously the economy is bad and everyone is struggling these days, but it really seems like when it rains, it pours!
My car has multiple things that need to be fixed totaling about $1,500. I have school loans that are just piling up because I haven't had money to pay. I need a crown on my tooth. I just had surgery and haven't seen a bill yet, but can't begin to imagine what to expect. My car demands gasoline quite often, not to mention the law demands insurance. People are having babies and baby showers. People are getting married. AND on top of all that... I just want to get back to Uganda (which means I should be saving every penny). Dang it.
However(thankfully), God is a provider. Not just a provider, but THE Provider. Learning how to relax and trust God as the Great Provider has always been a bit of a challenge. But more and more through God's word and prayer I'm learning to chill. It's so nice to rest in knowing that Jesus is in control. Clearly I have to work on this everyday as more stuff keeps coming up. :)
God's movement is so evident to me lately. Maybe it's because I'm taking the time to listen and maybe it's because I'm learning how to be still. Is being still and listening easy for you? It's not for me. I am always wanting to DO something. I love to help God. Silly me, God doesn't need my help. Aren't I conceited, thinking that the Creator of the universe would NEED me? I just heard a sermon yesterday about God needing help. The pastor used many passages from Genesis, using the lives of Abraham and Sarah to illustrate how little God NEEDS us. It's always very humbling to hear things like that because it becomes very easy to think that the work Jesus has called us to do will not happen if we don't do it. Like the world will end or something. It will get done and the world won't end... simply because God is God. He can do it without the help of me or anyone. Luckily God is willing to use tools. I love being a tool that He chooses to use. Sometimes we are called to do things that we can't imagine doing... why is that? I've quoted Oswald Chambers a lot lately, but I love this one: "God does not call the equipped, He equips the called." God is glorified when a task is done that would have proved impossible without His help. How cool is that? I love being a part of things like that. To God alone be the glory.

The Program of Our Lives

Have you ever noticed how almost nothing goes according to our plans? This isn't the first time I've noticed it, but somehow it stands out in a new way to me right now. Humans are funny creatures, run by the programs of their lives. We are people who live by their schedules and rarely do we allow our schedules to change unless something really good comes up. Schedules and routines are comfortable and a lot of times we can go through each day in a brainless state of being. Do I think this is the worst thing in the world? Yes and no.
Well my "slowing schedule" was rocked last week and completely flipped upside down. Without going into much detail on here... I've had some family issues. Things were unsettled enough for me to leave for a week, thus my whole idea of not having to travel for a while was shattered. I ended up driving 3 and half hours to stay with my bff/roomie. Now, it had been about 3 months since I had seen her and my visit was WAY overdue so of course my visit was a blessing, just very unexpected. I'm so thankful to the Lord for friends that I can call and say, "hey I'm coming to stay with you for a while, I'm not sure for how long." (Even when we haven't talked in a while).
I arrived around midnight last thursday night and stayed until wednesday. While I was gone, not only did I have an amazing time with my bff and her family, but I spent a lot of time in the Word and in prayer. Jesus and I had plenty of time to talk and plenty of time for me to listen. In the midst of a "mini crisis" I just drew nearer to Him. I have a feeling that satan is not too happy to see me walking so closely with the Lord so he's doing what he can to try to tear me away. He's been using my family, friends, and other situations to discourage me and knock me over. Satan is very real, thankfully God is so much bigger and greater. As I was being brought down on one side, Jesus was on the other side holding me up... how great is our God?! Time and time again God continues to confirm His plans for me, and boy are they plans for good!
Here is a short passage from the September 29th devo out of My Utmost For His Highest:
"If a man or woman is called of God, it doesn’t matter how difficult the circumstances may be. God orchestrates every force at work for His purpose in the end. If you will agree with God’s purpose, He will bring not only your conscious level but also all the deeper levels of your life, which you yourself cannot reach, into perfect harmony."
Praise the Lord. Peeps, I really want to encourage you to walk closely with the Lord every single day. You will be more susceptible to attacks from the evil one... because he will be much more threatened by you, but you will find yourself relying on Jesus for anything and everything. The Creator of the universe will not allow you to be brought down completely, of that I am confident.
Well, I'm home now and so thankful for all the prayers and support. I'm still trying to figure some stuff out here and would appreciate continued prayers for me and the family. Another week off work means that I'm really not gonna be traveling anywhere anytime soon thanks to my lack of a paycheck. The youth worship team I'm directing at Wheatland Salem UMC has been going well and I love being a part of that group. This weekend I'm leading worship for their Confirmation retreat... it's great because the retreat center is only about 15 minutes from my house. I'd love some prayers for that time with the kids.
I would love for you to partner in prayer with me regarding Uganda and my return there. On top of that, would you pray for the country as a whole? Pray for the city of Kampala, the people, the missionaries. Pray for Heritage International School. Pray for my loved ones there. Pray for more rain for East Africa so people can eat again. Pray for peace.
Pray for my family and friends here. Pray for provision.
I'm praying for each of you and thanking God for you today. Amen!

In Between...

Let me begin by saying that I'm so glad that God has called me to work with His youth! I count it a privilege that He's given me the ability to relate with youth well and teach them His ways.
With that being said... I went to camp this past weekend at SpringHill in Southern Indiana with Trent and his Jr high kids. We brought 3 boys and 3 girls and I believe they were all in 7th grade. It's such a funny age when the girls are all bigger than the boys. Anyways, it was a great weekend of building relationships, worshipping Jesus and drawing nearer to him, and being ridiculous with the kids. Trent and I watched as they climbed rock climbing walls and tall poles and played "z ball". We rode an 800 foot zip line (yes, I thought I was going to die), went swimming in the lake, and just hung out. Our group was one of the smallest there, but that made it great for getting to know each of the kids better than if we brought 60 kids.
Of course a weekend retreat means no sleep... in fact I'm still trying to catch up a bit, but it was definitely worth it.
So that's the update, now onto the point. I'm in a place of limbo right now. Let me be clear on what I mean when I say limbo. Here is how Webster has defined limbo:
1 often capitalized : an abode of souls that are according to Roman Catholic theology barred from heaven because of not having received Christian baptism
2 a : a place or state of restraint or confinement b : a place or state of neglect or oblivion c : an intermediate or transitional place or state d : a state of uncertainty
Those in bold represent my meaning. I've had many times with God lately when I've been blessed to hear (loud and clear) from Him and have His will confirmed in my life through others and the Word. Now I know that most of us who walk daily with the Lord hear from Him more than we choose to recognize, but I always love how the sound of His voice is so sweet. So why would I say I'm in limbo? It's been very easy to grow impatient because though I know that I'm called back to Uganda I don't know when that will be and I'm very anxious to be back there. It's easy to let little set-backs and miscommunication weigh me down because I'm such an impatient person. Isn't it funny that even though I know where I'm going I'm still disappointed because I don't know EVERY single detail? I was reminded during an early morning walk in the rain with Jesus this weekend that my timing is NOT near the same as His timing. My ideal plan is to be back in Uganda in January or February. I would like to be raising support right now and looking forward to my return. His ideal plan is for me to be well equipped and prepared and also for the people I'll be with in Uganda to be ready. This can't just be about me and my timing, it can only be about God and His timing.
Even though I was so deeply discouraged last week, God has encouraged me to continue to completely trust Him and keep walking with Him daily.
Jesus is so patient with me, always reminding me to look at what He's given me for the DAY. Right now I'm a worship team director. This is the ministry He's put me in for right now, this very day. Tomorrow it may change or remain, but either way I must choose to walk closely with Him regardless of my timing for HIS plans.
So I'm asking for you all to pray with me as I prepare to go back to Uganda... whenever and however that will be. Thanks so much for your faithfulness in always praying for me and loving on me and in serving our great God.
My schedule is slowing down for the first time in 3 months and I'm really excited for a few weekends of no commitments, at least none that I can think of right now. Email me with prayer requests and praises. Much love!

Oh! ps the Heritage International School retreat went well from what I've heard so far. Thanks for praying for that event!

The Missionary’s Predestined Purpose

From: My Utmost For His Highest
By: Oswald Chambers


Now the Lord says, who formed Me from the womb to be His Servant . . . —Isaiah 49:5

The first thing that happens after we recognize our election by God in Christ Jesus is the destruction of our preconceived ideas, our narrow-minded thinking, and all of our other allegiances— we are turned solely into servants of God’s own purpose. The entire human race was created to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. Sin has diverted the human race onto another course, but it has not altered God’s purpose to the slightest degree. And when we are born again we are brought into the realization of God’s great purpose for the human race, namely, that He created us for Himself. This realization of our election by God is the most joyful on earth, and we must learn to rely on this tremendous creative purpose of God. The first thing God will do is force the interests of the whole world through the channel of our hearts. The love of God, and even His very nature, is introduced into us. And we see the nature of Almighty God purely focused in

John 3:16 — "For God so loved the world. . . ."
We must continually keep our soul open to the fact of God’s creative purpose, and never confuse or cloud it with our own intentions. If we do, God will have to force our intentions aside no matter how much it may hurt. A missionary is created for the purpose of being God’s servant, one in whom God is glorified. Once we realize that it is through the salvation of Jesus Christ that we are made perfectly fit for the purpose of God, we will understand why Jesus Christ is so strict and relentless in His demands. He demands absolute righteousness from His servants, because He has put into them the very nature of God.

Beware lest you forget God’s purpose for your life

Jesus Made Me Chuckle This Weekend...

The Lord moves in ways that we never expect. He just never ceases to amaze me and I can’t help but worship Him. He makes me chuckle sometimes… ☺. This weekend the plan was to meet up with a friend and drive down to Birmingham, Alabama for the weekend. Jade and Shelah Acker (Lino’s guardians) are in the States and I would never pass up an opportunity to visit with them. So Thursday night I began my journey after work. Luckily the route that takes me to Alabama is packed with people I love! So I spent Thursday night in Indianapolis with a friend. Friday was very leisurely in that I slept in, took my time getting ready, had lunch, and then hit the road to Louisville. Here’s where the story begins… On my drive towards Louisville I was blessed to get a phone call from dear friends in Uganda. They were quite entertaining and kept me going along the LONG road. I was so happy and excited about talking with them that I got to my next stop in no time. As soon as I hung up the phone with them and went to restart my car after getting fuel, my passenger side window rolled itself down. I thought that maybe I had hit the window button or something, but I wasn’t even close to touching it. It wouldn’t have been a big deal except for the fact that the window refused to roll itself back up. So there I was, driving along at 80 mile per hours with the HOT wind in my hair when I began to feel sick. So I pulled over, leaving everything (computer included) in my car with a window that was permanently stuck in the down position, and headed for the restroom. After a one other stop like that, the medicine kicked in and I started to feel better, but it was still hot and I still had hundreds of miles to go… by myself (my traveling buddy backed out at the last minute). I was able to stop and hang out with a friend from college for a bit near Louisville and get myself reenergized.
As I got back in my car for the next 3-hour leg of the journey I began to feel defeated. I realized how disappointed I was that I had to travel by myself when I was looking forward to a road trip with a friend. Then I started to have a pity party for myself about my now broken car window. The journey didn’t seem as great at that moment.
Then I was quickly reminded of some scripture that I had been reading that morning. I had just flipped to the Psalms for a quick read before leaving Indy and I came across Psalm 44. The people were feeling quite defeated, they was being attacked by their enemies on all sides feeling very separated from God. Their battles were being lost and they were crying out for God to hear them. When I read that I was thinking, “you silly people. Don’t you see God hasn’t left you? Just because things aren’t going your way or the way you had planned does not mean that God has deserted you.” But somehow, through the little trials I was experiencing during what was SUPPOSED to be a glorious weekend, I was just as defeated as these warriors were. Then I remembered the next two Psalms after that. Psalm 46 says:
God is our refuge and strength,
always ready to help in times of trouble.
So we will not fear when earthquakes come
and the mountains crumble into the sea.
Let the oceans roar and foam.
Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge!
A river brings joy to the city of our God,

the sacred home of the Most High.

God dwells in that city; it cannot be destroyed.

From the very break of day, God will protect it.

The nations are in chaos,

and their kingdoms crumble!

God’s voice thunders,

and the earth melts!

The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us;

the God of Israel is our fortress.
Come, see the glorious works of the Lord:

See how he brings destruction upon the world.

He causes wars to end throughout the earth.

He breaks the bow and snaps the spear;

he burns the shields with fire.
“Be still, and know that I am God!

I will be honored by every nation.

I will be honored throughout the world.”
The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us;

the God of Israel is our fortress

I was immediately in awe of Jesus… so thankful for the reminders that He gives throughout each day of His presence and His faithfulness. Clearly my little troubles of a tummy ache, broken window, and lonely car trip were not as impending as being attacked by armies of my enemies, but I did begin to feel defeated about something I was once SO very excited about. The enemy was trying to take my joy. Luckily I have God on my side. So the trip to Nashville was a sweet time of worship and prayer and laughter… especially as the rain began to fall and make it’s way into my vehicle. I couldn’t help but chuckle. The anxiety dissipated and I kept on rolling. When I got to Nashville I borrowed a garbage bag, taped up my window and quickly forgot about as I reunited with a great friend. It was a blessing to hang with Meghan for the night and morning… we even got to spend some time in downtown Nashville… something I hadn’t done in a few years. ☺
As noon approached on Saturday, I removed the plastic from my car and began my journey to Alabama where I had a fabulous time hanging out with Jade and Shelah and some other really fun friends that I met in Uganda. It was so cool to just have time to sit and chat and catch up on their lives and the lives of the Sudanese guys. Seeing their girls was so sweet! Anna-Grace was SO excited to see me… she ran and gave me a HUGE hug as if I’d never left Uganda. She’s too cute!
My trip back was a bit less eventful, but it was sure not missing the Lord’s presence. One night while driving I realized I was getting real cold and even with the heat, the cool night air was biting. I was having a convo with Jesus and just happened to mention that I was feeling cold… a few minutes later my window was half-way up and I hadn’t touched anything. I though, “um ok… this is weird.” To my delight/shock/joy/amazement my window rolled all the way up and I was warm and safe inside my car with just a short bit of my journey remaining. I can’t explain it other than that Jesus is awesome and the electrical system in my car is crazy!
As far as weekends go, I couldn’t have asked for a better one. I mean, time with Jesus, time with friends along the road, time talking to my buddies in Uganda (a few times actually, thanks for calling guys!), time with my Uganda family in Alabama, and then time with Trent’s youth kids on the way back... what more can you ask for out of a weekend, really??
So that’s the story and that’s what God and I were up to this weekend. This is a short but busy week filled with work, meetings, worship team practice, and another drive down to Indy on Friday. Would you pray for energy throughout the week? Also, I’m going as an adult leader on Trent’s junior high youth retreat (hence the reason I’m driving to Indy again)… just pray for the student’s heart to be open and pray for a good time to connect with them. Oh! Also… Heritage International School (where I taught last year in Uganda) is getting ready for and going on their fall retreat this week. Please, please pray for the Spirit to fall on the kids, pray for the speaker, pray for the music, and please pray for safety. Thanks so much everyone!
Well now that I’m home from the weekend and done updating you all… I’m gonna attempt a nap. ☺

Great is Thy Faithfulness

I always start by apologizing for not updating frequently and this is not unlike the rest... life has been going nonstop for weeks. Here's a brief catch-up session for you: Indeed I got to see the Hopsons, it was awesome! Yes my bff came in from Seattle and yes it was absolutely fantastic to spend time with her. Of course I went to the Cubs game and though they lost the game, I had a great day in the city with some fabulous friends!
That doesn't sound like a lot and I realize that, but what I didn't expect to do in the midst of all of that was have surgery. It wasn't a huge deal and it shoulda healed in about a week, but because I had all that exciting stuff going on... I didn't rest therefore the stitches came apart and I've been laid up for almost 2 weeks! It's my own fault and I recognize that, but it doesn't make it any less annoying to do NOTHING for so long. I've not been able to work, thus my money supply is rapidly deteriorating. AND since I'm still healing I'm not supposed to be doing too much activity... my Nintendo is getting a lot of use right now. I'm still planning on my trip to Alabama this weekend to see Jade and Shelah Acker (Lino's soon-to-be adoptive parents) while they're home in the States! Please pray for safe travels. :)
Beyond that I've had a lot of exciting stuff going on in my life pertaining to my churches...
And this brings me to the point of this update. Jesus is absolutely faithful. I had previously talked about trying to figure out my future and where my ministry needed to focus. I specifically asked God to make it clear where I was supposed to be spending my Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings. No sooner did I pray that prayer, than I got answers. I know that my "home" church is the UM church out here in Plano. I love the Body of Christ out here and I love serving and spending time with them. But I also know that my original "home" church was WSUMC in Naperville and I've been wanting to reconnect with them for years. The Lord brought two separate people to me from WS to tell me about ministry needs at the church. One is a small group leader for Sunday school which I'll be co-leading with Joy Thomas (love her!), the other is a director for the youth worship team. You all know my passions and music and youth rank pretty high up there! The call about the worship team can a mere two days after talking with Joy about Sunday school. I was very up front about my level of commitment, knowing that I'm going back to Africa (more on that later), but I also expressed my excitement to get something going with the kids out there. Becky (my old youth pastor, mentor, and great friend) is the one I was talking to about this and she was very aware of the fact that I'd be leaving for Africa in the near future and she kinda figured that into her plan of calling me. Jesus gave her a peace about it knowing that I could get stuff going and then someone else could take over once I'm gone. (Another confirmation towards my return to Uganda).
So anyways, I went to youth group a couple of Wednesday nights ago to kinda meet the kids and introduce myself. (It's so weird to be back at my "home" church and have no one know me anymore because it's been so long. I don't know any of the kids!) All of that said, I'm SUPER excited to get this party started and to start sharing my philosophy of worship with the kids and then form a team to lead others into worship. It will only be by God's strength that I'll be able to do this and do it well, but I'm pumped. Would you be in prayer with me about this? I've always felt very mediocre at singing, average at guitar, and like I'm just a beginner on piano, however I've got a great understanding of music theory type stuff. BUT I've done this before because God has given me a heart of worship and I'm excited to tell them what I know, what God wants them to hear, and then to share that passion with the rest of the youth through worship. Pray for the youth and their hearts. Pray for my leadership and direction. :) Praise Him for such an opportunity.
I've been praying for clarity since I returned home (almost 3 months ago!!!) and once again, God has answered that prayer for me. Isn't it so much easier to see things when we wait for the Lord to reveal them to us? Go figure! Anypoo, in my seeking about what's next I've been feeling like God is leading me back to Uganda. My plan at this point, unless Jesus has something else that's unforeseen by me, is to go back as a VIA (volunteer in action) like last time. However, unlike last time I won't be teaching at Heritage International School, my focus will be more on KIU (Kampala International University) ministries and marketing. There have been talks about a program with the orphans on Buvuma Island (where we have a church and a school) to get them sponsors and I would LOVE to be the person to help get that program up and running. I've been in talks with my field director (well former field director) in Uganda, who has been in talks with THE field director of Uganda and the regional director of WGM in Africa and they're discussing possibilities and options. I would really like to get back there by January and my thoughts are leaning towards a 2 year commitment at this point. Obviously I'm still waiting to hear back from the big bosses across the sea to hear their thoughts, but more and more I'm getting confirmation from the Lord through other people and through circumstances. He has covered me with a peace that I still don't understand and is preparing me even now for my time there. I'm asking for you guys to pray with me about this. There are still plenty of details to be worked out and then there's that little thing called a budget to work out and then I'll need to start raising support in an economy that screams, "keep everything you have!! Save your money!!"
Yikes. Raising support is a daunting task for me because it's so humbling. I've never been good at letting people give to me, but I know that in supporting me they're supporting my ministries and the works God has given me.
I long to be back in Uganda. It's strange to feel homesick for a place that I spent a short 11 months in, but I do. And it's such a real and strong feeling. My first trip was a breeze, in a sense... I was healthy (thanks be to God) and I did what Jesus asked me to do. Not that there weren't any struggles and not that there weren't times I was ready to throw in the towel and come home, but I have a feeling that this trip, whenever it is... is going to be a totally different experience. Pray, even now that I would adjust well, be healthy, and be able to jump right into serving the Lord in whatever capacity He allows me to.
Thanks to you all for your love! I love you all so much!! If you would, send me your address and email address to help me keep you updated on my progress as I move forward with these plans. My email is christina.maddalone@gmail.com.