Cooking For One

Hectic.  Amazing.  God-glorifying.  Crazy.  Brilliant.  Exhausting.  Complicated.  Simply beautiful.  That is just the beginning of the adjectives that describe this past week.  VBS week is always intense at any church and this was no different.  My only real responsibility during VBS was to play guitar, but I somehow managed to stay incredibly busy all day every day.  Even that responsibility wasn't huge because of the other guitar player who is just phenomenal at what he does.  I'm blessed to work with some very passionate, loving people.  Aside from seeing the kids connect with Jesus (which they sure did!), I got to see them connect and interact with the adults from church.  It was very telling to see how the adults responded to the kids.  I saw a lot of love and a lot of grace.  I saw Jesus.  From seeing a father love on his children and a mother tear up with joy because her son is at church, to seeing a grown man run up and down the aisle with his guitar to get the kids excited, the Spirit was moving and I believe God was glorified.  The laughter and singing was infectious.  By the end of the week I couldn't help but look over at the other musicians with a huge goofy grin on my face because I was so proud of Christ's Church.  My heart smiles just thinking about it!

It was a great opportunity to spend some time talking and getting to know some more individuals from the congregation.  I love when I get to sit one on one and hear someone's story, hear their heart.  I love building relationships and I'm grateful that God ordained some special meetings this past week.  :)

Aside from VBS I had meetings, meetings, and oh yeah, a few more meetings.  All were very good and they were all relevant.  I feel like a lot was accomplished and I'm super pumped to continue moving forward in ministry here.  I really feel as though working at EUMC is a gift from God, one that I'll continue to cherish.

Yesterday I spent much of my day being a responsible adult.  I attended a brunch (where I was the youngest by many years) to hear a WGM missionary who works in Kenya and South Sudan speak.  It was a major blessing to hear updates on her ministries and hear about some of the people I know from Africa.  The last time I saw her was in her home in Kenya while I was traveling during my last year in Uganda.  It's a comfort to my soul to connect with those who know and love Africa the way that I do.  Being pretty non-emotional, I was surprised by how many times my eyes either teared up or threatened to during the course of her speech.  Africa is deeply imbedded into my heart and soul.  My heart aches to be there some days, but I'm thankful that the Lord has brought me to a place in America that is so incredibly connected with Uganda.

After brunch, I bathed the dog, did some laundry, cleaned my house, went grocery shopping, and cooked a bit.  Not a very exciting day after brunch, but a necessary one.  It wasn't a bad day at all, but as I was cooking dinner for myself I got to thinking about all of the times I've lived alone.  

When I moved home to Chicago from Indiana, I move into the parsonage in Plano.  Yes, I had the whole house to myself, but my family lived a mile down the road.  The house there was a refuge.  I delighted in having my own space.  Even cleaning didn't bother me because I enjoyed the space so much.  I didn't have time to be any kind of lonely because I was nearly never alone except for at night.  I ate dinner with my family most nights and when I wasn't with them I was with youth kids or out of town visiting Trent's youth kids.  

Last year in Uganda I was without roommates a few different times... having a rather large house all to myself.  Even in those time I wasn't lonely.  I was either sharing meals with the Sudanese guys, some of the other refugees, or other missionaries.  Not to mention, I lived on a compound with another family whom I adore so I spent a lot of time with them as well.  The nights when I was cooking for one were nights of peace amidst the craziness of life in Africa.  I was ok with cooking for just myself.  It didn't bother me.

Yesterday, it bothered me for some reason.  Maybe it's because I'm realizing how permanent this new chapter of my life actually is and as I find myself settling in, I wonder more and more about my husband.  Maybe it's because the dog was being annoying.  Maybe it's because my iTunes shuffle just happened to be producing some sappy songs/songs that remind me of people.  Maybe it's because my mom and dad were at home watching the Cubs game, just relaxing on a typical Saturday without me.  Whatever the reason, I was bothered by it.  

This is by no means a "whoa is me" situation.  And just to clarify... I'm thrilled to be where I am!!  I love Jersey and the people I'm getting to know!  I suspect there will be others days when I feel like that as well.  When I feel like I'm doing life on my own when I'd rather be doing life with my husband.  I'm able to rest in the fact that God's timing is perfect.  I've been reading through Kings and Chronicles.  It always amazes me that God spoke so very clearly and yet people still disobeyed, but when they did obey, they experienced the goodness of God.  When they waited upon the Lord, He responded.  When they put their trust in Him, of course, He fulfilled His promises.  God's promises to me are clear and He is fulfilling them every day.  As I continue to try to be patient, God continues to give me opportunities deepen that patience.  I'm so thankful and so humbled.

"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."  Isaiah 40:31