Christmas Eve

Every year for my entire life (aside from 2008 while I was in Uganda), I've spent Christmas Eve with my dad's side of the family.  It's always a good time, a loud time, but a good one.  We eats tons of (Italian) food, open presents, play a game, watch the kids run around like crazy people, have a visit from Santa, etc..  It's so much fun.  I'm quite sad I'm going to miss it this year, having to be here for the Christmas Eve service.

I was chatting with my senior pastor today about what the Christmas Eve service will look like since neither of us have done Christmas Eve at this church.  In fact, I haven't been to a Christmas Eve service in years.  Two years ago I had a hard time even getting out of bed, let alone thinking about going to church.  I was getting ready to head back to Africa for a year and I had just lost my best friend.  My heart was beyond crushed by the loss.  I was far from feeling like a whole person.  Completely torn apart and unable to express just how I was feeling.  On top of trying to prepare myself for another year in Uganda.  It was NOT a good Christmas.  

Then last year I was jet-lagged, struggling with reverse culture shock, and my car wasn't up to par, having sat for a year while I was away, so I didn't make it to church then either.  To be honest, I don't remember last Christmas at all... although my heart was healed from the previous year, my mind was 9,000 miles away.  Jet-lag does crazy stuff to your memory too.  I'm pretty sure my family hosted Christmas Eve, but I just can't picture it.  Weird how that works.  

I'm really excited for our Christmas Eve service here this year... and not just because it's been too many years since I've been to one.  It's a service of such beauty and hope.  What an honor to celebrate the birth of the King of Kings.  What an amazing reminder of the greatness of God... becoming flesh, being lowly, taking on human form.  Not only that, though.  He came to redeem us all.  Let me say that again.  God became flesh to take away the sins of the world.  Let that sink in for a minute.  This is the God I serve.  How could I want to do anything, but be with Him?  Amazing love, how can it be?!

There's a longing in my soul... I'm simply in awe of His greatness tonight.  I'm thankful, humbled, and I'm desperate for Him.  I'm also really looking forward to the music at the Christmas Eve service.  We'll be singing some beautiful hymns and carols, the choir is singing a couple of songs, and I'm doing special music with my friend, Allan.  As you all know... solos are not my thing and even though this is a duet, I'm still singing alone at times, but Allan just brings a level of comfort.  I don't get so nervous singing with him.  He found a really fun mash-up of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen and We Three Kings.  It's such an up-beat,and energetic.  I'm just excited to celebrate with the Body of Christ!

I fly home early on Christmas day.  It's an amazing blessing to be able to go home and be with family and friends.  I won't have a car, so I'll be limited on who I'll get to see, but being back in Chicago is going to be refreshing.  To be honest, there's so much stuff going on in my family that I'm a bit nervous to be with them, but I'm trusting the Lord in all of those situations.  Seeing my youth kids is going to be amazing and I'll also be seeing life-long friends and college friends too.  It's still somehow weird that that's not "home" anymore, but I like that Jersey is feeling more and more normal for me.

I'm resting in the fact that God is sovereign, trustworthy, and so, so good.